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Rumble 20546 Killjoy vs. The Leprechaun
MATCH SCORE
Killjoy: 2
The Leprechaun: 0

Rumble 20545 Team Fortress 2 vs. Inhumanoids
MATCH SCORE
Team Fortress 2: 0
Inhumanoids: 3

Tournament - Juggernaut vs. Mr. Incredible
MATCH SCORE
Juggernaut: 10
Mr. Incredible: 0

Rumble 20544 General Kregg vs. Stripe vs. Brigade
MATCH SCORE
General Kregg: 2
Stripe: 0
Brigade: 1

Waspinator vs. Grumble Bee
MATCH SCORE
Waspinator: 3
Grumble Bee: 2

Match 16395 Carmen Sandiego vs. Harley and Ivy


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“I can’t believe you talked me into wasting an entire afternoon!” grumbled Poison Ivy.  She stormed down the sidewalk of a seedier than most Gotham City neighborhood, dressed in a brown trench coat, shades, and a green sun hat.  Behind her, Harley Quinn tried her best to keep up, in an identical outfit, except for a red and black beret.  “Aww, Red!” she pleaded.  “I was just trying to get us some work!”  Ivy continued walking forward, not even turning back to look at Harley.  “We don’t need to work for her!  Honestly, Harl, of all the ideas you’ve come up with, this has got to be the most ridiculous.  And considering some of the stunts you’ve pulled, that boggles the mind.” 

Harley finally caught up with Ivy, trying her best to match her friend’s stride.  “Come on, Ivy!  It wouldn’t be so bad working for an outfit like Carmen Sandiego’s.  We’d get out of Gotham, see the world, and we’d be able to steal anything we want!”  Poison Ivy gave a humorless laugh.  “Ha!  Whatever she wants, you mean!  We have enough to worry about in Gotham with Batman and his kids.  We sign up to be part of Sandiego’s crew and we’d have ever single country in the world after us!   This is what I get for leaving you alone with an internet connection.  Bad enough you wind up ordering junk or placing bids on toast with the Virgin Mary burned in it.  Now you’re setting up meets with people claiming to be international thieves!” 

“But I checked it out first!” insisted Harley.  “I met with a guy who said he was with Carmen to arrange the meeting today.  A guy in a loud plaid suit.  I liked him.  His smile kinda reminded me of Mr. J.”  Ivy groaned and turned to face Harley.  “Come on, Harley!  Wake up!  The guy looked like Mr. J because he was Mr. J!  Joker probably got wind of you looking for Carmen so he set up a phony meet just to screw with us.”  The two women fell silent as they continued their way down the row of buildings in various states of disrepair, before finally arriving at an even more run down hotel.  They entered the lobby and walked past the reception desk, where a young man stood in a daze.  The traces of Ivy’s lipstick still showed on his cheek.  The ingredients to make Ivy’s mind controlling cosmetics were usually less expensive than the rent.   

“I’m sorry, Red,” sulked Harley.  “I just wanted to get us out this dump.”  Ivy reached in her pocket for the keys and sighed as they reached the door to their room.  “I understand, Harley.  Just give me a warning next time.  I’m going to take a shower.  You take a look in the fridge and see if anything in there is edible.  Ugh!  And take out the trash before you do.” 

“What are you talkin’ about?  I took out the trash before we left for the meet!”  Ivy inserted the key and reached for the handle.  “Well, you must have missed something because something smells terrible in th…”  Ivy’s words were drowned out by the crash of the door being smashed off it’s hinges and colliding into Harley and Ivy.  The two lifted the door off of them, coughing at the cloud of dust, and saw the figure standing at the doorway in their room.  It was a short, fat biker who’s black t-shirt and orange vest barely covered his bulging stomach. The only thing that was keeping his hair in any state of order was the dirty purple headband he wore.  The stench was almost as painful as the door.  “Both of you ladies are coming with me!” he wheezed.  He lunged forward and grabbed Ivy by the wrist.  “Hands off, grease ball!” shouted Harley.  She jumped up and sent a kick into the biker’s chin that sent him flying back into the apartment.  Suddenly the door across the hall that Harley in front burst open to reveal a muscular woman with a tall, green afro and wearing a purple unitard.  “That’s not very nice,” she snarled as she took hold of Harley by the neck of her coat.  “Now we have to get rough with you!”  She tossed Harley down the hall, her flight stopped only by the wall that she collided with back first. 

“HARLEY!” shouted Ivy.  She tried to charge toward the muscular woman, but the biker grabbed a hold of her and pulled her back into the apartment.  Ivy reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of seeds in glass capsules.  She threw them at the ground in front of biker, causing the capsules to shatter.  The biker stated at them confused.    “Was that supposed to hurt?”  Ivy gave a confident smirk.  “Wait for it.”  Suddenly, out of the shards of glass, long green vines began to sprout from the seeds.  The biker yelled in fear and tried to run, but his body soon almost completely entangled.  Poison Ivy stood over her would-be assailant as he lay on the floor trying to free himself.  “Now, now.  No point in struggling.  Focus your energy on telling me who put you up to this.  Was it Joker?  Speak up!” 

Before the biker could answer, Ivy was caught in a headlock by the muscular woman.  She squeezed her arms tight around Ivy’s throat as Ivy struggled to breathe.  “Go to sleep, flower girl,” the woman hissed.  “Hey, Marge Simpson!” Harley’s voice rang out.  “Present from Homer!”  The next thing Ivy heard was the sound of a thud, followed the woman groaning and collapsing on top of her.  Ivy forced herself free from the now unconscious woman’s grip, now able to see the spring loaded boxing glove that had knocked her out.  Harley stood with the gun with spring hanging out of it proudly.  “And you told me this baby was too silly.”  Ivy rolled her eyes and smiled, but her gratitude was interrupted by someone clapping. 

At doorway stood a woman in a fashionable hat, dress and sunglasses.  Beside her stood a blonde girl in a green, school uniform, and behind them were two men who appeared to be wearing outfits that alternated between black and white.  The woman applauded some more.  “Brillanti, ladies!  Brilliant!  You truly are skilled as your reputations say.”  Ivy stood up next to Harley, as she readied the boxing glove gun to fire again.  “Let me guess.  You’re Carmen Sandiego?”  The woman gave a haughty laugh.  “Oh no, darling.  You may call me Contessa.  These are my friends Patty Larceny and Double Trouble.”  She gave a disapproving look at the unconscious woman and the biker trapped in vines.  “And you’ve already met Eartha Brute and Top Grunge.  Boys, get them out of here.  You see, darlings, Carmen sent us here to test you, in order to see if you were VILE material.”  Harley pointed her gun at Contessa as Double Trouble carried out Eartha and untangled Grunge.   “So that’s why they didn’t show up, Red!  They just wanted us out of the way so they could jump us in our own little home!”  Contessa held out her hands calmly.  “It was only as a test, darling.  Carmen Sandiego doesn’t just let anyone into VILE.  Now that you’ve passed this test, my instructions are to take you to your next one.  One that if you pass will not only gain you entry to VILE, but make you both very, very rich.  Interesting, no?” 

Ivy was about to tell Contessa what she and Carmen could do with their tests when Harley took her arm.  “Red, maybe we should go with them,” she whispered.  “What?!  They just tried to ambush us!” Ivy hissed.  “Well, yeah,” said Harley.  “But this really could be our chance!  We were able to handle those two with no problem.  We can handle any test they could throw at us!  And if Carmen is wanting us to pull a job, it’s sure to be big!  We wouldn’t have to live in this roach motel anymore!  Please, Red?”  Harley gave Ivy one of those ‘begging’ looks she’d mastered over the years of their friendship.  Ivy groaned, then turned to face Contessa.  “Alright, we’re interested.  What do we have to do?” 

“Bella!” Contessa said.   “But for this test, Carmen has instructed that you must not know it’s location, so I’m afraid it’s best you…oh what is that old English cliché?  ‘Take a powder?’ Patty, if you would?”  The school girl gave a friendly smile and walked up to Harley and Ivy.  “Now don’t worry,” she said sweetly.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  Harley looked unimpressed.  “And just what could you do to hurt us, Cindy Brady?”  Before Harley finished her sentence, Patty pulled out a small, spray bottle and sprayed it’s contents on the pair.  Both starting coughing and within seconds Harley had passed out on the floor.  Ivy stayed up, holding her head and attempting to focus.  “Well, well,” mused Contessa.  “Carmen thought this knockout gas would strong enough to overcome your natural abilities.  But I guess will have to deal with this in a more vulgar way.  RoboCrook, be a dear, please.”  Poison Ivy heard the door to the closet rattling behind her.  She turned around just in time to see a metallic fist heading straight for her.  Then nothing but darkness. 

“Red?  Can you hear me?  Come on, Pam, snap out of it!”  Ivy groaned as she woke up on a cot with Harley looking over her concerned.  “Just say something to let me know you’re ok.”  Ivy looked up with a dirty look.  “I hate you.”  Harley gave a happy sigh.  “You’re ok!  The junk that girl Patty sprayed at me wore off a while ago.  I was worried that stuff was too strong for you if you’d been out so long.”  Ivy sat up in the cot, nursing her headache that wasn’t helped by the sound of an engine.  “It wasn’t the gas.  One of Carmen’s goons jumped me from behind.  Where does she find these people?”    

“Well, wherever she found ‘em,” Harley said sitting down next to Ivy, “there’s no turnin’ back now.  I think were in some kind of a plane.”  Ivy took a look out a porthole behind her to see clouds and the familiar skyline of Gotham.  “Wonderful.  All I know, Harl, is I don’t care what this test is.  We are going to beat Carmen at whatever game she’s playing.”  Harley squealed and gave Ivy a hug.  “So you want to join VILE now?!”  Ivy gently pushed Harley back and attempted to stand, using the railing of the cot to steady herself.  “Perhaps, but the first thing I want to do is to show up Carmen and make her pay for screwing with us like this!”  Harley shrugged.  “Good enough for me!” 

The door to the cabin opened, revealing a man in an extremely tacky plaid suit and Hawaiian shirt holding two gift boxes.  “Evening, sweethearts!  Welcome to VILE Air!  Our pilot is Wonder Rat, and I’m your host, Vic the Slick.  Friends call me Vic.  Have a nice nap?”  Harley jumped to her feet and pointed at the man.  “Ivy!  That’s the guy!  You were the one who told me where to meet Carmen!”  Vic gave a oily smile.  “Sorry, doll.  I had my orders.  But now, Carmen has asked me to deliver these to you.  She thought they would make you feel more comfortable.”  He placed the boxes on the cot, opening them to reveal Ivy’s green unitard and Harley’s jester outfit.  Vic turned to face them as he smile grew more suggestive.  “Now, if there’s anyway I could uh heh heh lend a hand…” 

A few seconds later, Vic bolted out of the cabin, followed by the two thrown gift boxes.   “Get out, ya creep!” yelled Harley, and she slammed the door.  After a few minutes, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn emerged from their cabin in costume.  Patty Larceny was waiting for them and waved.  “Hi!  So glad you’re up and about!  Sorry about the gas.  Come on!  Auntie Carmen is waiting for you.”  She moved down the hall and opened the door into the next cabin.  Harley and Ivy entered to see Carmen Sandiego, flanked by RoboCrook, looking away from them out of a porthole and speaking into a radio.  “Take us up a little higher, Wonder Rat.  We wouldn’t want any bats aware of our presence.”  A squeaky voice came over the intercom.  “Sure thing, Carmen!  The fabulous Wonder Rat will fly his Rat Jet to a safer altitude!”  Harley leaned over to Ivy.  “He’s the guy who’s flying the plane?”  Carmen put the radio back in place as she turned to face them.  “Actually he isn’t.  One of my other operatives is flying the plane.  I just let Wonder Rat sit at switched off controls to let him he think he is flying.  But that’s no matter.  It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Isley, Dr. Quinzel.  Apologies for my agents getting a little rough with you, but…”

“Yes, we know, it’s a test,” Ivy interrupted.  “Now what do we have to do next?”  Carmen smiled as she moved to sit down at a desk.  “Very to the point, Miss Isley.  I appreciate that in people I do business with.  Your next test will be the determining factor in whether or not you will earn a place in VILE.  The two of you will be given 48 hours to steal as much as you can from Gotham City.  Steal more than your competition, and I will allow you to join VILE and keep all that you stole.” 

“And if we don’t steal more than whoever you put against us?” Ivy questioned.  “Then all that you stolen goods will belong to your opponent, and your whereabouts will given to the GCPD, who will make sure you two will be held accountable for your crimes.”  Carmen motioned to RoboCrook, he activated a screen displaying a map of Gotham.  “For this mission,” RoboCrook intoned mechanically, “VILE operatives have placed several devices around Gotham City.  These receptacles each contain a portal device that will transport your loot to a secret warehouse.  Only you can access your receptacle.  Once the test is completed, the total value of your stolen goods will be tabulated, determining the winner.” 

“Now wait a minute!” said Harley.  “How are we supposed to know this is fair?  If your guys and gizmos are counting up everything, you could just say your thief stole more!”  Carmen rose from her seat and walked over to the control panel.  “That is correct, Dr. Quinzel.  Which is why I found a third party to be a fair, impartial judge for this game.”  Carmen pressed a button, and the radio buzzed on. 

“Hello, ladies,” a familiar voice purred over the intercom.  “Selena!” snarled Ivy.  “Oy,” groaned Harley.  “As Gotham’s foremost thief,” Carmen explained, “Catwoman will be given access to VILE’s technology in order to observe the game and to confirm who stole the most.  She will also make sure that anyone who’s actions result in someone suffering permanent injury or death during the game will have their location sent straight to the Gotham police.” 

“And I’ll be making sure to keep an eye on your hangouts to make certain you don’t pick up any of your equipment,” said Catwoman.  “And your opponent will have no access to VILE technology either.  You want something to use for your thefts, steal it.  Just don’t waste too much time.  You do only have 48 hours.  So I suggest you make the most of it.”  Vic and RoboCrook walked up to Harley and Ivy with parachutes and proceeded to put them on.  “Hey!  You mean we’re going to have jump out of this thing?” said Harley as she adjusted her chute.   “You’re the one who wanted to join VILE,” smirked Ivy, before turning to face Carmen.  “Don’t you worry about us, Carmen.  We will rob this city blind.  I just hope whoever you chose for us is ready for a long two days.”  Carmen Sandiego smile grew cold as Wonder Rat’s voice came over the com.  “Approaching the drop zone, Carmen!  Opening up the hatch in T-minus 1 minute!” 

“Don’t worry, Miss Isley,” said Carmen, turning to reveal her parachute.  “Your opponent is more than ready for the challenge.”  Before Harley and Ivy could express their surprise, the floor of the jet started to retract and their protests were drowned out by the wind rushing past.  The floor pulled back further and further, until there was no place left to stand, and no where to go but down.  The jet continued on it’s way, leaving three parachutes descending on an unexpecting Gotham City. 

 

 

OK:

Carmen Sandiego: “Where on Earth” version.  No VILE gadgets or help from VILE crooks.  She can’t just steal Gotham City. 

Harley and Ivy: “New Batman Adventures” versions.  They start with no gimmicks (Harley’s weapons, Ivy’s lipstick), but like Carmen are able to steal what they need.  Plus Ivy still has her control over plants.  

Whoever steals the most in 48 hours without getting caught, wins. 

Game On! 

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Good setup! 

Well since the key to this fight is not to get caught I think I have to give it to Carmen, Harley and Ivy aren't exactly the most subtle of criminals where as Carmen is on a whole different level of subtlety. 

 

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I give the match a 5.0.

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Nice set-up, broadway! Harley, Ivy, and Carmen are very much in-character here, and I could see Sandiego looking for prospects from Gotham. I had almost forgot about Carmen's accomplices, though. 

As for the match, I think Carmen should win this competition. She's very rarely been caught in her own world, and though she's never gone up against the Bat Family, they've never faced her, either. Therefore, they won't be familiar with Sandiego's style, and since Batman and Co. are very familiar with Ivy and Harley, I'd say Carmen evades capture for longer.

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Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.70 - DSkillz
5.00 - Pizzaguy2995
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.60 - Mercenaryblade
5.00 - JohnnyChany

FPA Calculation:
5 Total Votes cast
24.30 Total Combined Score
24.30 / 5 = 4.86 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Carmen Sandiego: 7
Harley and Ivy: 1

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THE BOTTOM LINE

“I DEMAND A RECOUNT!” Harley shrieked.  Harley and Ivy stood in front of two large storehouses with large, metallic doors.  Through the open doorways of both buildings could be seen rows and rows of stolen loot.  But the storehouse on the left clearly held more treasures within.  Carmen Sandiego stood with arms folded in front of her crooks, giving a disapproving look at the two women.  “I suggest you control your temper, Dr. Quinzel.  Both of you were allowed to examine your warehouse to make certain all the items you stole were there.” 

“And I’ve checked and doublechecked the results,” Catwoman chimed in over the radio.  “You and Ivy stole a grand total of $5,199,320,201.  Carmen’s loot adds up to $35,201,919,913.  You girls weren’t even close!”  Ivy whirled to face Harley enraged.  “You and your banks!  I told you we needed to hit the diamond district, the museums!  But nooo, let’s just steal cars and rob banks!”  Harley pointed an accusatory finger at Ivy.  “Oh yeah?  Well we might have stolen more if you didn’t waste time trying to make more of that lipstick of yours!” 

“Ladies, ladies, please,” Carmen soothed.  “I do hate to see friends fight.  Unfortunately, you have failed your test.  And VILE does not require your services at the present time.”  She nodded to RoboCrook, who pulled out a device the size of remote control and pressed a button.  In a flash of light a portal opened up behind Harley and Ivy.  Ivy snarled at Carmen.  “You can’t do this to us!  We’re better criminals than all your pathetic henchmen put together!  All of Gotham fears us!”  Harley nervously raised her hand and cleared her throat.  “Err…is it possible we could have a do over?”  Carmen motioned to Double Trouble and the twins stepped forward to Harley and Ivy.  They gave each other a grin, then spoke, finishing each other’s sentence.   “Don’t call us,…”  “…we’ll call you.”  The twins both hit a thrust kick to Harley and Ivy, sending them flying back into the portal.  With another flash of light, the portal was gone. 

In their GCPD police car, Detective Harvey Bullock and Officer Renee Montoya made their was through the streets of Gotham.  Their boredom was interrupted by an explosion of light from the corner, which seemed to be emanating from a garbage can.  “Madre de Dios!” shouted Montoya in surprise.  “Was that a bomb?” 

“How should I know?” said Bullock.  “Pull over!”  Montoya pulled the car to the curb as he pulled out his revolver.  “You wait here and make the call.  I’ll check it out.”  Bullock opened the door and walked over to the garbage can.  He lifted the lid as Montoya turned on the radio.  “This is car 29.  We are responding to a disturbance on the corner of Lynn Drive and Cuoco Parkway.  Possible explosion.  Notify ATF and tell bomb squad to be on standby.”  Montoya put on her hat and exited the car.  She saw Bullock still looking down into the garbage can, with a look of disbelief on his face.  “Harvey!  Talk to me!  What you find?”  Bullock’s voice had the tone of a man who was trying to comprehend what he was saying.  “Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.”  Montoya rolled her eyes as she walked up to the can.  “Riiiight.  And let me guess.  Catwoman and Roxy Rocket are in there too?  Seriously, Harvey, you really need to do something about that imagination of yours.”  Then Montoya looked in the garbage can, and she stopped mocking Bullock.  For inside the garbage can, desperately attempting to untangle and free themselves, were Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.  The two looked up sheepishly as Montoya pulled out her gun and smiled down at them.  “Well, well, well.  Hello again, ladies.  What’s the matter?  Spend all of last night getting trashed?” 

“Ha ha,” Harley said humorlessly.  Ivy attempted to raise her arm, but only succeeded in sending her elbow into Harley’s chin.  “OWCH!  Don’t just stand there!  Get us out of here now!”  Bullock grinned at Montoya.  “Well, you heard the ladies, Montoya.  Get on the horn, tell HQ we need an early garbage detail.”  Montoya hurried back to the car as Ivy continued to fume.  “Well, look on the bright side, Red,” Harley said sheepishly.  “At least the beds at Arkham are more comfortable than that cheap one in the hotel.”  Ivy’s screams echoed in the garbage can.  “SHUT UP!  Don’t you say another word!”  Bullock pulled out a pair of handcuffs and twirled them on his finger.  “What a coincidence.  I was just about to say that.  You two have the right to remain silent.  But you better believe I’ll be there for your statement.  I can’t wait to hear your story for this one.” 

Meanwhile, many miles away on the outskirts of Gotham, the crooks of VILE laughed and cheered the success of their leader.  “You sure showed them, Auntie Carmen!” said Patty.  “There’s no thief in the world better than you!”  Carmen smiled, took off her hat, and bowed to her henchmen as they applauded.  “Thank you all.  You all performed your tasks perfectly.  Each of VILE’s portal devices were placed in just the right locations and transported all of the loot without a hitch.”  The crooks cheered and high fived some more as Carmen walked to the radio.  “And as for you, Miss Kyle, I thank you for your assistance in this matter.  I assure you that VILE will pay you handsomely for your participation in our game.”  The only sound from the radio was the sound of static.  Carmen tilted her head in confusion.  “Miss Kyle?  Miss Kyle, are you there?” 

Suddenly the large metal doors of the storehouses slammed shut.  “Hey!” Eartha shouted.  “What’s goin’ on here?”  A burst of light could be seen shining through the cracks of the doors and windows of both storehouses.  “The loot!  Get the loot!” shouted Vic as the agents of VILE rushed to the doors desperately trying to force them open.  “RoboCrook!  Get the door open now!” shouted Carmen.  RoboCrook raised his hand to the panel outside the door of Carmen’s storehouse.  A series of cords snaked out of his glove and inserted into the panel.  Meanwhile, Eartha and Grunge pushed as hard as they could to force open the door of Harley and Ivy’s storehouse.  But before either set of doors could be opened, the lights in both buildings began to fade and disappear. 

With a final series of beeps, the panel RoboCrook was working on finally beeped green and the door opened.  The other crooks ran inside the storehouse but stopped at the doorway.  Everything Carmen had stolen had disappeared.  Nothing was left inside, not even the palettes and shelves.  The storehouse was completely empty.  “Great Scott, chums!” Wonder Rat cried.  “We’ve been robbed!” 

“You don’t say,” sneered Vic.  “Are you Wonder Rat or Captain Obvious?”  Wonder Rat struck a heroic pose, and stared into the heavens.  “There is no need to be hostile, my poorly dressed citizen!”  Vic was prevented from responding as Eartha and Grunge ran over to join them.  “Everything’s gone!” Grunge wheezed.  “There’s nothing those costumed creeps took left in their storehouse!”  Carmen turned to RoboCrook, still standing at the panel.  “RoboCrook, analysis.” 

“Systems indicate a third party has accessed the portal subroutines,” RoboCrook intoned.  “Two portals were simultaneously projected inside both structures.  Source of intrusion unknown.  Current location of stolen valuables unknown.”  Carmen looked back inside the empty storehouse as her crooks starting yelling and arguing with each other who was to blame.  She looked up through the skylight at the night sky and smirked.  “Well played, Catwoman.”  

Far, far away, inside another warehouse, Catwoman lay stretched out on a velvet couch.  She wore her costume minus her mask as she gently petted her cat, Isis.  She looked out over the treasures before her, almost more than the multilevel warehouse could hold.  Bars of gold, bags of money, paintings, sculptures, jewelry, cars.  All that the three women had stolen was now in her possession.  Carmen should never have given her access to VILE’s computers.  It didn’t take long to crack the codes to access the portal technology and transport all of the loot to her.  Over $40 billion stolen, and she didn’t even have to leave the couch.  Catwoman rolled on her back, lifted Isis above her and smiled at her.  “And that, my dear, is thinking with portals.  It’s a shame that Harley and Ivy had to get caught.  Now that I’ve got a handle on this technology, maybe I could use it to break them out of Arkham.”  Isis gave a quizzical sounding meow.  Catwoman laughed as she rose off the couch and gazed at her newfound wealth with Isis in her arms.  “Okay, maybe after they cool their paws for a few weeks.  But with this technology, there isn’t anything in this world I can’t steal.  Now the real game begins.” 

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  • 2 years later...

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