12:3 - Jack Burton vs. Mordor

[UMPIRE]

SEASON 12, ROUND 3

Jack Burton

Slot: The Team's Survivor
Season Wins: 0
Season Losses: 0
Fantasy Team Page
Read more about Jack Burton at this Wiki
Official Site: 20th Century Fox

Mordor

Slot: The Team's Location
Season Wins: 0
Season Losses: 0
Fantasy Team Page
Read more about Mordor at this Wiki
Official Site: The Tolkien Estate

Battle Terrain
Sidekick vs. Terrain

[Peypeypeypey]

Mordor is big, and a handful of Hobbits were able to sneak in for a long time without being detected. It all depends on if he's discovered

[Fox]

8 minutes ago, Peypeypeypey said:

Mordor is big, and a handful of Hobbits were able to sneak in for a long time without being detected. It all depends on if he's discovered

I think Mordor is one of the more dangerous terrains in this category.  The All Seeing Eye, Orc's sense of smell, Nazgul and Shelob all make this a well rounded dangerous terrain.

I don't think it is any cakewalk.  There is just as much potential for surviving 24 hours (and then dying) as there is for death prior to the time limit, I think.

[Magnamax]

Jack Burton is a parody of John Wayne, according to Kurt Russell, and literally shoots a piece of ceiling to fall down on his head and knock him out in his own movie. He’s a a goon who will get killed by the first band of orca he runs in to.

 

Sam and Frodo had an army providing a convenient distraction for them to survive. There’s no chance Jack makes it through. 

[leroypowell3]

Jack Burton the bungling hero. He's not stupid he just doesn't do things right. Unless they're looking for him I think he can muttle around without being discovered for a day.

[Magnamax]

2 hours ago, leroypowell3 said:

Jack Burton the bungling hero. He's not stupid he just doesn't do things right. Unless they're looking for him I think he can muttle around without being discovered for a day.

Why would that be more likely? Mordor is a constantly surveilled place crawling with orcs, trolls, and Nazgûl. Not to mention Sauron looking for things out of place. If he’s not distracted by an invading army, there’s no chance a guy with a machine gun, jeans, and an unsubtle nature is not spotted within 24 hours. 

[Culwych1]

It'd be interesting to understand what Jack's motivation in this scenario is. If he, like the hobbits, had to do something or get somewhere, then there's a good chance he does not survive.

If his only aim is survival, then through hiding, diversions, running, and the fact that he has a machine gun in a fantasy world, could well mean he survives. 

With that in mind I'm leaning towards Jack.

But...the big caveat here is the Nazgul. If he runs in to one, he is dead.

So the question really is, can he somehow avoid the Nazgul (and other more deadly creatures) for more than 24 hours...

Edit: given Mordor is estimated at 140,000 square miles, and all Jack has to focus on is survival, then I think it'll take longer than 24 hours for him to run into something deadlier than him.

[Magnamax]

46 minutes ago, Culwych1 said:

It'd be interesting to understand what Jack's motivation in this scenario is. If he, like the hobbits, had to do something or get somewhere, then there's a good chance he does not survive.

If his only aim is survival, then through hiding, diversions, running, and the fact that he has a machine gun in a fantasy world, could well mean he survives. 

With that in mind I'm leaning towards Jack.

But...the big caveat here is the Nazgul. If he runs in to one, he is dead.

So the question really is, can he somehow avoid the Nazgul (and other more deadly creatures) for more than 24 hours...

Edit: given Mordor is estimated at 140,000 square miles, and all Jack has to focus on is survival, then I think it'll take longer than 24 hours for him to run into something deadlier than him.

A machine gun in a fantasy setting is actually a pretty big point against him. Once he fires that, hundreds of thousands of orca are going to alerted to his presence. Again, Jack is not good at sneaking. He is loud, clumsy, and a general doofus. If he’s spotted by any orcs, Sauron, the Nazgûl, etc he is done for. 
 

The hobbits, who had knowledge of the area, were smalll, had a great distraction for most of the dangers of Mordor, and had magical cloaks to help them conceal themselves barely made it through. Jack will have none of these benefits and a full Mordor teaming with orcs. There’s also no reason to think that Jack is an adept survivor in this situation. There is no evidence to suggest he would be good at hiding and sneaking around for twenty hours. It’s much more likely he runs into something and dies.

EDIT: The picture also clearly shows mount doom and the tower of Bara-dur, which makes it reasonable to assume that’s the area the survivor will be attempting to last in. I don’t think they are getting placed on the outskirts of the mountain ranges.

[Magnamax]

Just a reminder that this is what Jack Burton did in a life or death fight in Big Trouble in Little China: 

(one of my favorite Carpenter flicks, but Burton ain’t a plus survivor here…)

 

 

[SSJRuss]

[UMPIRE]

Match Final Results

Jack Burton: 6
Mordor: 9