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Rumble 21068 The Turkey vs. Jelly Monster vs. Cheesasaurus Rex
MATCH SCORE
The Turkey: 0
Jelly Monster: 0
Cheesasaurus Rex: 2

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Ashe (Overwatch): 1
Mavado: 1

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Szass Tam: 5

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Gorilla Grodd: 0

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MATCH SCORE
Cassandra Nova: 0
The Ancient One: 3

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Posted

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In the dead of night, Tanya Adams and her elite commando squad crept through the dense perimeter of a Cobra base. The base, a secluded compound run by the Crimson Guard, lay deep within the jungle, well-protected and secluded. But Tanya, with her confident swagger, was more than ready to storm its gates.

With the flash of her Desert Eagle and the detonation of her C4 charges, Tanya dismantled guard towers and armored vehicles nearby with ruthless efficiency. Tanya and her team cut through Cobra's defenses like a hot knife through butter. She grinned at the ease of it, confident and relentless. Utilizing her time belt to periodically flash back several seconds made her a hard target to get a good shot on and her love of explosives created a chaotic environment. But deep into the compound, two figures waited, watching her progress with keen interest.

Tomax and Xamot, the mirror-image twins and leaders of Cobra's elite Crimson Guard, were intrigued by this intruder’s bold approach. They exchanged silent glances. Each one understood their next move without speaking a word.

Tanya finally reached the heart of the base. She was met with only a single man, dressed sharply in a blue suit with a cruel smile on his face. She raised an eyebrow, keeping her gun leveled at him.

“You’re either incredibly brave, or incredibly foolish,” she declared.

The man in front of her smirked. “I could say the same to you, Tanya Adams.” 

He held his hands up in a mocking surrender gesture.

Tanya’s finger hovered over the trigger. “You know my name. I’m flattered. But flattery won’t save you…”

The man, Tomax, disappeared behind a nearby pillar and Xamot appeared behind her.

“But what will save you?” he asked.

Xamot hid again and Tomax reappeared.

“What kind of game are you playing at?” Tanya demanded.

“Simple hide and seek,” he replied.

Tanya shot at him.The twins appeared and disappeared with such speed and coordination that it flummoxed Tanya, who despite the use of her Time Belt, could not keep up with the twins' constant switching. Tanya let her guard down for a moment and a swift movement from behind caught her off guard, a powerful strike that sent her stumbling forward. Xamot disarmed her. She fought with him briefly but a hit from Tomax sent her to the ground. Xamot secured her arms and locked her in place.

“Be still, little commando,” Xamot said smoothly.

“Two of you? How did my intelligence miss this?” she growled, still trying to twist out of his grip. “Cheap trick.”

“Ah, but one that works quite well,” stated Tomax with satisfaction

“Let’s finish this, brother,” Xamot suggested.

“Agreed. But the Commander won’t like the mess…”

Their discussion was interrupted by a sharp, aristocratic voice that cut through the air. 

“Hold it right there.”

The Baroness stepped forward, her eyes gleamed behind her glasses as she took in the scene. 

“You’ve caught quite a prize,” she remarked. She gazed down on Tanya. “Killing her would be wasteful.”

Tomax and Xamot exchanged questioning glances.

“What do you suggest, Baroness?” Tomax asked.

“A woman with her skills,” the Baroness crouched down near Tanya, “could be… useful to Cobra. I have a better use for her.”

Tanya spat on the ground in the direction of the Baroness. “I don’t work for snakes.”

The Baroness smiled. “That’s what they all say.”

Not long afterward, Tanya was strapped into Dr. Mindbender’s laboratory, held in place by thick steel restraints. The mad scientist himself adjusted a series of electrodes around her head,  and prepared his machine for a full mental conditioning session.

The Baroness observed from the other side of the glass as Dr. Mindbender activated his device. A hum filled the room. Tanya’s face twisted in futile resistance as the machinery worked its way through her memories, twisted and reshaped them. Bit by bit, the procedure dug into her mind, and took hold.

As the process finished, Dr. Mindbender turned to the Baroness with a pleased grin. “The conditioning took surprisingly well. She harbors a lot of rage, an easy thing to manipulate.”

“Interesting. Then you believe she will be… loyal to us?”

Dr. Mindbender hesitated. “Yes. But there may be a small complication in your plan to have her infiltrate the Joes on our behalf. While traversing through her memories the machine picked up on one where she had already tried to join G.I. Joe in the past, and was rejected.”

The Baroness’s eyes were focused on Tanya. “Rejected, was she?” She turned, and considered this new information. “Then perhaps G.I. Joe simply needs to see her value more clearly.”

She called for Tomax and Xamot.

“Do you two believe that Tanya is a valuable asset in battle that should be coveted?” she asked.

Xamot looked at Tanya with fondness. “Ah, our very own war goddess. She performed admirably against the Crimson Guard and was only felled by faulty intelligence.”

“Indeed,” Tomax agreed. 

The Baroness smiled.  “So we simply need to ensure the Joes give her the opportunity to prove herself.”

Soon after, the Baroness found herself inside Cobra Command’s war room. Cobra Commander sat at the head of the table, as Baroness and Dr. Mindbender briefed him on their latest strategy. Cobra Commander, dressed in his iconic blue uniform and hood, leaned forward with interest.

“Cobra Commander,” the Baroness began, her tone sharp with purpose, “we have secured a valuable asset in the commando Tanya Adams. After conditioning her with Dr. Mindbender’s technique, she’s become completely loyal to our cause.”

Dr. Mindbender chuckled darkly. “Indeed, the conditioning process was almost too easy. She is hungry for violence, particularly against anyone standing in her way.”

Cobra Commander gave a thoughtful nod. “A useful pawn. But is she only here to carry out your whims, Baroness?”

The Baroness smirked. “This is where our plan gains momentum. Tanya has a unique skill set and reputation, Commander, one that could allow her to infiltrate G.I. Joe itself. But for her to gain their trust, we need them to see her as an essential asset, not an optional auxiliary option.”

Cobra Commander tilted his head. “Go on.”

Baroness gestured toward the holographic map in front of them. “It’s quite simple. We create vacancies among G.I. Joe’s ranks, specifically targeting a notable member. With the right gap, they’ll need someone like Tanya to pick up the slack.”

Dr. Mindbender grinned and pulled up files of various female G.I. Joe agents on the screen. “We have several candidates for replacement. Now, the question is who?”

The images rotated, revealing dossiers of G.I. Joe operatives: Scarlett, Lady Jaye, Jinx, and Cover Girl.

“Lady Jaye,” Dr. Mindbender suggested. “She’s a valuable field operative, skilled with weapons, and has a strategic mind.”

Cobra Commander tapped his finger on the table. “Hmm. Too risky. A loss like her would put the Joes on high alert.. perhaps too high.”

The hologram shifted to Scarlett. 

“Scarlett is an option,” Baroness offered, with a slight smile of admiration. “Her rank and experience would make her loss deeply felt. However she is quite formidable and her close relationship to Duke and Snake Eyes could create some messy complications.”

Cobra Commander scoffed. “I have no interest in motivating that ninja to go on a solo revenge mission.” He waved dismissively. “Next.”

Finally, the hologram dossiers stopped on Cover Girl. Cobra Commander’s gaze lingered.

“Ah, Courtney Krieger,” Baroness remarked. “She’s a capable operative, certainly, but I don’t think her loss would cause the Joes to go in full offensive mode. Still, they would want to find a replacement for the skillset that she brings rather quickly.”

Dr. Mindbender earnestly agreed. “Yes… former model, tank specialist. A pretty face that can be used for coercion, but also wants to get into the dirt and prove herself, Tanya could fill that role well.”

Cobra Commander agreed with this assessment and the target was chosen. Once told of the plan, Tany volunteered to take out Cover Girl herself much to the delight of Cobra Commander.

Weeks later, the plan came to fruition on a crumbling battlefield in an abandoned city block. Cobra had managed to isolate Cover Girl and jammed all G.I. Joe communications, leaving the veteran stranded in a bombed-out studio. Courtney ducked behind broken machinery. She assessed her situation.

“Radio’s out,” she noted. “Great. Just great.”

From the shadows, Tanya stepped forward, her posture rigid, her eyes cold and unyielding as she locked onto her target. Cover Girl turned at the sound of footsteps and raised her weapon.

“Wait a minute,Tanya, is that you?” Cover Girl asked in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

Tanya responded with a sinister smirk that was almost unrecognizable. “I’m here to put you down, Courntey. I’ve been waiting for this. I’m finally going to get my shot in G.I. Joe.”

“This is no way to go about it. You know better.” Cover Girl hesitated as a possible realization struck her. “This isn’t you. Cobra must’ve gotten to you, didn’t they?”

“Doesn’t matter who got to who,” Tanya answered as she leveled her weapon. “You’re in my way, and I’m here to take your place.”

Cover Girl steeld her resolve. “Then come and get it, Tanya. Let’s see if you’re as tough as you think you are.”

Posted

Cover Girl, the most underused of the first three female joes. This is a spectacular matchup and pretty even I say. I didn't see anything reading up on Tanya that would put her over so I'm going to give it to Cover Girl because Tanya is working under brainwashing and not her usual self.

Posted
On 11/8/2024 at 5:03 PM, leroypowell3 said:

Cover Girl, the most underused of the first three female joes. This is a spectacular matchup and pretty even I say. I didn't see anything reading up on Tanya that would put her over so I'm going to give it to Cover Girl because Tanya is working under brainwashing and not her usual self.

Here's what Tanya can do in Red Alert 3

 

And History of Cover Girl in G.I. Joe

 

Posted

Good set-up and matchup of military blonde bombshells, Johnny. :) It seems like this version of Cobra's more competent than in the '80's 'toon. 

As for the match, I'm kinda leaning toward this Tanya chick. She seems to have more melee skill overall than Cover Girl, and Tonya's Time Belt would likely be hard for Cover Girl to counter. 

Posted

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
5.00 - Macklemore
5.00 - Boratz
4.60 - DSkillz

FPA Calculation:
3 Total Votes cast
14.60 Total Combined Score
14.60 / 3 = 4.87 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Cover Girl: 3
Tanya Adams: 1

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