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Tournament - MST3K vs. Athena (Tomorrowland)
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MST3K: 4
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Oroku Hiroto: 0
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Rumble 20539 Whitespikes vs. The Xenomorphs
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Cameron Poe vs. Castor Troy
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Raphael (Mirage) vs. Ken Masters
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Raphael (Mirage): 4
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Match 18364 Lucy (2014 film) vs. Leeloo

broadwaybeyonder

By broadwaybeyonder
in CBUB Rated Matches

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broadwaybeyonder Don't feed him after midnight

broadwaybeyonder

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Al Rossi: HelloOoOoOoOo, fight fans!  We’re back from the Bunker!  It’s Al and Andel with another great one on one match up for you! 

Andel Sanap: Indeed, Al.  For tonight we are going to witness a very unique face off between two women who are both much more than what meets the eye.  Lucy Miller, a woman who upon ingesting a mind enhancing drug was unable to unlock the full power of her mind.  And her opponent?  The Supreme Being, the Fifth Element: Leeloominai Lekatariba Lamina-Tchai Ekbat de Sebat! 

Al Rossi: Er, but we’ll just be calling her Leeloo for this fight. 

Andel Sanap: I was only trying to be precise. 

Al Rossi: Right.  Earlier today we had Philippa and Chloe… ahem… attempt to get interviews with Lucy and Leeloo.  Here’s what happened. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: You should just let me do all the talking. 

                Philippa Forrester: Chloe, we’re here to listen to the combatants, not you. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Hmph!  I should think I would be more interesting to listen to than these two! 

                Philippa Forrester: More interesting than the most advanced human mind in existence

                and a woman who can summon power strong enough to nuke a living moon? 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Exactly! 

                Philippa Forrester: …Let’s just check on Leeloo.  Here’s her dressing room. 

                Leeloo: Djala?! 

                Philippa Forrester: Whoa!  Sorry!  I’m Philippa and this is Chloe.  We wanted to talk to you about your upcoming fight with Lucy? 

                Leeloo: Leeloo Mul-ti-pass! 

                Philippa Forrester: Yes, that’s a very nice multipass.  Now how about this fight? 

                Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass! 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Mph!  Hahaha!  That was real informative! 

                Philippa Forrester: Ok, if you think it’s so easy, you do the next interview. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Gladly!  Oh, Miss Miller! 

                Lucy: Yes? 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Hello, there!  My name is…

                Lucy: Chloe Bourgeois, daughter of Andre Bourgeois, mayor of Paris, and Audrey Bourgeois, fashion mogul. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: That’s right!  See, Philippa?  Everyone with taste knows about me! 

                Philippa Forrester: Oh brother. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: But seriously, about this little fight thing…

                Lucy: At the present time I am in the middle of preparing my strategy and do not have time for questions.  Goodbye. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: WHAT?!  How dare she slam the door in my face!  Ridiculous!  Utterly ridiculous! 

                Philippa Forrester:  Well, that’s how it goes. 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Shouldn’t be surprised, really.  Anyone who likes drinks like she does has to be weird! 

                Philippa Forrester: How do you know what she likes to drink? 

                Chloe Bourgeois: I uh… was in her dressing room earlier and I was thirsty.  I saw she had some Capri Sun pouches so I took one.  

                Philippa Forrester: …

                Chloe Bourgeois: What? 

                Phillipa Forrester: Chloe, this pouch.  Was it clear, and the liquid inside was blue? 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Yeah!  And it tasted disgusting!  Why? 

                Phillipa Forrester: Chloe!  That was the drug Lucy uses to her expand her brain capacity!  

               How could you possibly think eating something in a combatant’s room was a   good idea?! 

                Chloe Bourgeois: Well, I figured the probability of the liquid being poisonous was extremely low. 

                And my body was needing to be stabilized by nourishment to prevent deterioration.

                …

                UGH!  Why am I talking like a geek now?!?! 

                   Phillipa Forrester: Umm, back to Al and Andel at the desk! 

Al Rossi: So, does this mean Chloe is going to turn into a laptop now? 

Andel Sanap: Thankfully, we’ve already managed to start pumping the CPH4 out of her system.  But let’s move along to the fight itself.  Specifically the rules. 

Al Rossi: Right!  Because this is going to more than just a straight up brawl.  This is also going to be a race against time!  The fight is going to take place inside our bulletproof Octagon cage.  The cage is sitting on a platform that is an exact duplicate of the element temple, with the four podiums designed to hold the four elements surrounding the cage.  As the battle takes place, two priests of the 50th Level Parrish will be setting the elements in position.  Once they are in place, Leeloo will be able to access them to create the Divine Light, which should be more than enough to atomize Lucy. 

Andel Sanap: But Lucy is not going to be defenseless.  She will be entering the cage with her brain at 15% capacity.  This will allow her physical strength and fighting skills to match what Leeloo has learned.  The CPH4 will continue to evolve her until she reaches 100% capacity, whereupon she will have mastered powers ranging from telepathy to telekinesis to time travel! 

Al Rossi: Or will Leeloo be able to KO Lucy before she can reach that point?  Only one way to find out!  Take it, Justin! 

Justin Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match, and can only be won by knout out!  The firearms and weapons hanging along the fence of cage are legal!  In the corner to my right, LUCYYYYYYYYYYYY MILLEEEEEEEEEEER! 

And in the corner to my left, LEEEEEEEEELOOOOOOOOOO! 

Al Rossi: The crowd cheers as Leeloo strikes a pose and motions for Lucy to bring it. 

Andel Sanap: She certainly doesn’t seem that worried.  Has she already calculated her path to victory? 

Referee: Combatants ready?  3!  2!  1!  Commence combat! 

 

OK:

Both combatants are at full strength.

Lucy is at 15% brain capacity (enhance strength and fighting skills). 

Leeloo has all of her martial arts knowledge. 

The cage contains multiple firearms and hand to hand weapons for them to use. 

As they fight, Lucy gets closer to 100% brain capacity, and the priests get the elements from backstage and placed around the cage. 

Once they are able to access their full powers, anything goes. 

Game On! 

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Venom 2009 Believes Han shot first

Venom 2009

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Did someone say, Chloe Bourgeois? 😉

Anyway, I give the match a 5.0. 😎

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Callisto I am One with the Ferret.

Callisto

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Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.50 - SSJRuss
5.00 - Venom 2009
4.00 - Mercenaryblade
4.70 - Boratz

FPA Calculation:
4 Total Votes cast
18.20 Total Combined Score
18.20 / 4 = 4.55 Final Rating on the match

MATCH SCORE
Lucy (2014 film): 6
Leeloo: 0

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broadwaybeyonder Don't feed him after midnight

broadwaybeyonder

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THE BOTTOM LINE

Andel Sanap: Leeloo charges ahead!  Lucy combat rolls to the fence and pulls loose a pistol! 

Al Rossi: She opens fire!  Leeloo just manages to drop down to the canvas to dodge the bullets.  She kips up to her feet and cartwheels to the fence!  She grabs two knives and hurls them at Lucy! 

Andel Sanap: Miss Miller remains expressionless as she steps out of the way!  Leeloo needs to adjust her strategy.  With all of this exertion of this battle, the CPH4 will just be pumping through Lucy’s body faster. 

Al Rossi: Those two hooded monks from the 50th Level Parish are moving the water element, that stone block, to the first podium.  Leeloo sees that they are moving too slow!  She jumps towards Lucy, but again, she’s able to dodge the strike! 

Andel Sanap: Lucy raises the pistol but Leeloo knocks it out of her hands!  Lucy looks taken off guard!  Leeloo with a punch to the chest! 

Al Rossi: Finally tagged her!  Lucy stumbles back!  Leeloo moves in, laying in punches to the head!  Smart move!  Focus the offense to Lucy’s head, not the midsection.  That would run the risk of causing the CPH4 packets break! 

Andel Sanap: The monks are moving the fire element into position!  Why are they moving so slowly?  You would think they would have a vested interest in seeing Leeloo victorious! 

Al Rossi: Leeloo has Lucy on the cage!  Ha!  She does that multi-slap move!  Lucy looks dazed!  Leeloo picks up one of the fallen knives and brings it down into Lucy’s… uh oh! 

Andel Sanap: Leeloo’s arm in frozen, the blade inches from Lucy’s chest.  Look at her eyes, Al!  Her brain capacity has expanded again!  She’s accessing her telekinesis to stop Leeloo and BY THE FORCE! 

Al Rossi: Leelo just went flying across the cage!  She slams hard into the cage wall!  Lucy is now striding to the center of the cage!  Leeloo’s almost out of time!  The monks have set the earth element and are now hurrying for the final block! 

Andel Sanap: Miss Miller observes Leeloo as she is pinned against the fence.  She’s trying to break free but Lucy’s mind is too strong!  Miss Miller cocks her head! 

Al Rossi: And Leeloo drops to the canvas unconscious!  The ref is running over to check on her!  What is the matter with these monks?!  They’ve got the air element but they’re just standing there!  If they can complete the ritual, Leeloo is right back in this thing!  What are they doing?! 

Justin Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner by knockout: LUCYYYYYY  MILLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEER! 

Al Rossi: Well, the fans cheer as Lucy stands nonplussed in the cage.  They’re opening the door to the let the monks in.  They’ve still got that stone block.  They were so close to have Leeloo able to summon the Divine Light. 

Andel Sanap: One monk checks on Leeloo as the other holding the stone turns towards Lucy and BY THE FORCE! 
Al Rossi: What the Hell?!  The monk just smashed the stone into the head of Lucy!  She’s down and bleeding!  The fans are in shock! 

Andel Sanap: Security is running to the cage, but now the other monk is sealing the door!  What is the meaning of this?! 

Al Rossi: The monk with the stone tosses it to the ground!  He’s lifting off his hood!  It’s…! 

Vince McMahon: IT’S ME, BUNKER!

Al Rossi: Oh son of a…! 

Vince McMahon: Did you really think we wouldn’t find where you’ve been broadcasting you’re nickel and dime fights?!  By the authority of the TCC, I hereby declare this fight club illegal and answerable to judgement from the 9!    

Andel Sanap: Security!  Get down there at once! 

Al Rossi: Oh no!  Look at the other monk!  He’s taken down his hood!  I’d recognize that hair anywhere!  It’s Jareth!  The crowd at the Bunker is booing and running for the exits!  Jareth is hurling crystals into the crowd to trap our fans! 

KABOOM! 

Andel Sanap: Now what?! 

Control Room: Desk!  Come in, Desk!  It’s the Control Room!  The Warworld has just boomed in!  We are under attack!  We’re under attaKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH! 

Al Rossi: Control Room!  We’ve lost signal!  The Bunker is in chaos! 

Vince McMahon: You idiots think these two ladies were tough?  Here’s a real woman for ya! 

KRRRASH! 

Andel Sanap: BY THE FORCE!  Miss America is here! 

Al Rossi: Ladies and gentlemen!  We are under attack by the forces of the 9!  Miss America’s using the ice powers the Nine gave her to freeze our fans and.. Oh my God!  She’s got Philippa! 

Philippa Forrester: Let go of me!  Please!  You’re supposed to be a hero!  You’ve got to remember! 

Miss America: You are an enemy of the Nine.  You must be eliminated. 

Chloe Bourgeois: Back off, weirdo!  VENOM! 

Andel Sanap: Miss Bourgeois goes for a strike but is easily tossed aside by Miss America! 

Al Rossi: We’ve got reports of incursions all over the asteroid!  Control Room!  If you can hear me we need to transported to the escape pods!  Control Room!  Wait!  They’re here!  Seal the door!  They’re trying to break throuKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!! 

 

*The Transdimensional Combat Commission is pleased to report that the illegal fight club known as ‘the Bunker’ has now been shut down.  Stay tuned for a new, brilliant contest coming to you live from TCC Arena.  This message brought to you through the benevolence of the 9.*    

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