Match 6697 Tallahassee (Zombie Land) vs. Arkham Asylum

[Guest callisto]

For Tallahassee, this is five years before the zombie-dominance-stage of his life.For Arkham, this is just another challenge.Here's the setup:********************************************************************************************************************************************************** Van Helsing carefully made his way through the catacombs called Arkham. He had noticed quickly that the dripping noise came from the building, and not just the cave. He moved catlike through the stalagtites and only dropped to the floor after about an hour of jumping and clinging, jumping and clinging. He was ready for excitement, something to do, something to kill, something that needed to be killed. He landed softly and rolled to limit sound to the soft russel of his hat and cloak on the ground. he quickly stood up and scanned his surroundings to see if anything had changed since he was there last, about two and a half hours ago. When he had deduced that his surroundings had not changed, he started walking at a brisk pace, and had been keeping his tempo and quietly humming to himself in between cell doors to make him feel less lonely, when a pair of ropes with knives tied to the end flew out from the walls, and would have slit his throat and his stomach, had he not stopped to draw his automatic crossbow. After having experienced this, and concluded that his luck had saved him from a quite untimely death, he began to feel real fear. He had looked into the cells to see what was there, but even if the cells weren't open, their occupants were still gone. He had turned around, and before he knew it, he experienced death at the hands of an awaiting noose.********************************************************************************************************************************************************** Tallahassee lowered his gun after he had shot this criminal point blank. He had just killed a crime lord! All his bodyguards had been killed too, and that had been a waste of bullets. He had come to kill Leo Valdeques, and he had done it. One crimelord down, three to go, he thought dimly. He was in the butt-kicking business, and business was a-boomin'! He quickly examined the man's face to see if it really was Leo Valdeques, and something registered in his ears. Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! What is that sound? he thought, and suddenly realized, it's a bomb! He turned and ran all the way out of the warehouse, and made it out just as the bugger went off. He fell onto the welcoming asphalt and got road rash down the side of his face and everywhere else on his right side. He slowly got up and checked himself over. He didn't seem to have any broken bones, and he didn't seem to have... many... bruises, but he had a severe case of road rash. He looked at the blown up warehouse, and just noticed the police cars around him. Put your hands in the air, where I can see them, said a calm voice that came from the most beat-up car in the bunch. After much backtalk and a thump from a nightstick, Tallahassee finally did as he was told, and put his hands in the air. Inspector Johnny White stepped out of one of the police cars and walked over to him. "Hello, Inspector," Tallahassee said, trying to maintain a steady voice. "Hello, Woody," the Inspector said calmly. "So, what brings you to this part of town?" Tallahassee said jokingly, but to no avail. "You know this is your fifth time blowing something as large as a building up, Woody." "And?" "And you have been decommissioned," the Inspector said casually. "What?! Who's going to be my replacement? I know your not talking about HIM taking my place," Tallahassee said, pointing his elbow towards an adjacent cop, who happened to be picking his nose at the time. "No, not him, HIM," the Inspector said, pointing to a tall, muscular cop in a white vest with M.P.D. on the left chest. "Ugh! Ferguson, really?" Tallahassee said disapprovingly. "Yes, Ferguson," the Inspector said, sighing. "Well, where am I going?" Tallahassee asked hesitantly. "You are now registered as a madman and have been decommissioned to Arkham Asylum, in New York." "What?!" Tallahassee protested, and glared at the Inspector. "Don't what me, you have blown up five buildings in the Miami area, three of which have been in populated or overpopulated areas!" "They always set bombs! What are you gonna do?" "I told you, you are decommissioned! Take him to the truck," the Inspector said with a wave of his hand. "You'll regret this, White!" Tallahassee roared. Several hours and ten rest stops later, they were finally in New York, but they didn't go through the overcrowded city, where it takes an hour to go a block- they took a dirt trail up a hill to the Asylum, which looked a lot like a huge haunted house. "This is it?" Tallahassee asked, a little bit scared of the structure. "This is it," the driver said with a smile that looked a little devious. "I ain't goin' in there," Tallahassee said with a twang. "Oh, yes you are," the other driver said with a matching smile. They clamped a metal ring, which was much like a collar, to Tallahassee and slammed the giant doors behind them, safely locking him in while driving away at top speed.**********************************************************************************************************************************************************Will Tallahasse prevail in destroying Arkham? Or will Arkham be too much to handle?Vote, comment, and find out!Signed, Corvette1710.

[corvette1710]

Is this match just boring or something? Too much dialogue? What is it?

[Confession FPT]

Is this match just boring or something? Too much dialogue? What is it?

I was skeptical at first, but now that i've read it i really like it.

But I don't think he cuts it here. I'd like him to, but he just don't.

Is Tallahasse's real name Woody? Either way that was kinda funny.

[Guest tomisntblue]

Good set-up, not to nit pick, but I feel I have to be "that guy" and point out that if this was before the zombie stage in his life he'd still have his son and so he wouldn't be the insane redneck we know and love from the movie (Who acts a lot like my dad, but that's beside the point). Anyway, that aside I still don't think he can take on the criminals of Arkham.

[corvette1710]

Good set-up, not to nit pick, but I feel I have to be "that guy" and point out that if this was before the zombie stage in his life he'd still have his son and so he wouldn't be the insane redneck we know and love from the movie (Who acts a lot like my dad, but that's beside the point). Anyway, that aside I still don't think he can take on the criminals of Arkham.

Actually, Tallahassee's son was three when he lost himself to zombies, and this is set five years before the zombie outbreak, but I see your point nonetheless.

[corvette1710]

I was skeptical at first, but now that i've read it i really like it.

But I don't think he cuts it here. I'd like him to, but he just don't.

Is Tallahasse's real name Woody? Either way that was kinda funny.

Yeah, I couldn't find out his real name in the movie, so I used the actor's name.

[Guest maseratti9901]

Nice setup, the match is pretty good except Tallahassee gets owned.

[comic_book_fan]

Good set-up, not to nit pick, but I feel I have to be "that guy" and point out that if this was before the zombie stage in his life he'd still have his son and so he wouldn't be the insane redneck we know and love from the movie (Who acts a lot like my dad, but that's beside the point). Anyway, that aside I still don't think he can take on the criminals of Arkham.

didn't he lie about his family in that movie and he will get his damned twinky .

[corvette1710]

Hey, anybody who reads this, I need an idea for the next one; I'm out. Quadruple-Ultra-Mega writers' block.