Tournament - Dog (Duck Hunt) and Ducks (Duck Hunt) vs. Rick Sanchez

[OMFG]

- Inside the 8 bit world of NES  -

 

"R-Rick? Where are we Rick?" Morty asked, looking around.

"For God's sake, M-Morty did you not ask me to build you a damn machine to let you into your video games?" *Burp* Taking a swig from his flask, Rick gestures to the tranquil landscape. 

 

"Y'know I gotta say, I thought you kids were into some messed up shit, this...this is pretty boring Morty, pretty fucking boring. Wh-where are the strippers an-and the booze you were wouldn't stop drooling over?"

 

"Uh...thi-this isn't what I had in mind Rick, who even plays 8-bit games anymore?" Morty explained, looking around at the empty wilderness that engulfed them.

 

"Morty you ungrateful son of a bitch, I do what you pressure me into a-and this is the thanks I get!?" 

 

"Geez Rick calm down, I'm, I'm sorry ok? Geez, it's just that this isn't the game I had in mind. I don't even think we're inside the right console!" Head hung in shame, Morty looked around for clues as to where they were, and what game they could have possibly been in.

 

Suddenly, words began to manifest before their very eyes, drifting slowly into the sky. 

 

"DUCK HUNT" 

 

"Aww, son of a bi-"

- Meanwhile, in Morty's living room  -

 

"Uh Dad, aren't you a little old to be playing video games?" 

 

"Of course not Summer! Your old man used to be quite the crackshot at the ole Duck Hunt when he was younger" Jerry explained, gesturing to the gaming console in front of him.

 

He scratched his chin in thought, "Although I'm not sure what Nintendo this is that Morty hooked up the the TV, but my old cartridges jammed in... eventually hehe"

 

"Ugh, whatever Dad, have fun playing games you virgin" Summer sighed, rolling her eyes and walking away.

 

"..if I'm such a virgin why do I have two kids?" Jerry, an obvious beta male, whispered, getting back to his game.

 

Upon closer inspection however, he noticed a button, on the side of Rick's video game console invention. It read;

 

*Push to activate AI intelligence in video game inhabitants*

 

"AI intelligence huh….I mean, I always had the best score growing up... What's a little challenge?"  Without a second thought, Jerry pushes the button.

- Back inside Duck Hunt  -

 

"I-I swear to God Morty, if your good nothing dad jammed a stup-stupid game into the machine...he messed it up...he messed it up real bad!" Rick moaned, pulling his flask put again.

"It..it *burp* it's gonna take a little while to fix. I-I just need some electropulse energy particles, we should be able to salvage some from surrounding microwaves from the system" Rick explained, poking at his teleportation gun with a screwdriver.

 

"Uh...Rick I'm not sure that's how that works" Morty explained, looking at the ground.

 

"Morty I-I didn't know you were the genius scientist, w-what do you think we should do, of you're so fucking smart?" 

 

"Oh geez Rick, wh-what are we gonna do now?" Fidgeting with his hands, Morty glanced around nervously…

"At least it can't get any worse... right?"

 

And so they went on their journey, locating electric whatever it was I wrote earlier, to power the teleportation device to get home.

- Some time later -

 

"Jesus Morty! Just shoot them, they're just ducks!" Rick roared, diving for cover behind a pile of smoldering duck carcasses. Taking precise shots at the incoming duck bomber, hell-bent on the death of Rick and Morty.

 

"A-and what was that shit you pulled before the cut-away anyways? 'it can't get worse', it always gets worse!" He said taunting Morty.

 

"B-but Rick, I don't want to kill them! What if they have families!?" Morty cried out, taking cover behind the ruined statue of the God Emperor Dog from Duck Hunt, making sure to only shoot to cripple, not kill.

 

"They don't have families! They're 8-bit ducks, your good for nothing Dad must've turned on the AI machine!" Rick yelled over, shooting more ducks out the air.

 

One duck, wearing a comically large beret plunged to the ground after being clipped by an energy round. He knew his time was coming, his partner flew down by him, ready to escort the injured duck back to one of the few buildings left intact in New Duck City.

"Listen...Quackers..I don't think I'm gonna make it" The injured duck quacked out, clutching at his still bleeding wing. 

"Tell my wife, I love her." He begged, pulling Quackers in close. 

 

"Huh, look at that I guess they do have families." Rick said, shrugging as he popped Quackers in the dome, and put down the injured James Pond.

 

"M-Morry, I'm not sure how we did it, but we managed to get into a long, drawn out battle with these Ducks that would take too long to explain." Rick tossed Morty his portal gun.

"I'm gonna go out there, a-and kill them all. You run the other way, we just need to collect a few more particles to ge-get out of here. Should take about...20 minutes, GO!" 

Rick ordered Morty, pointing towards the exit of New Duck City, past the demolished remains of the Puddles' School for Orphaned Ducklings.

 

"Man I really gotta stop giving everything super intelligence…" Rick whispered to himself, as he covered Morty's tactical retreat.

 

Out of the skies, clad in an awe inspiring Mech Suit, the God Emperor Dog from Duck Hunt descended onto the battle field.

 

He points at Rick, "You! Human! You have destroyed what has taken us decades to build! The Pinnacle of Dog and Duck society shook to its core by your carelessness! What say you?!" He bellowed, pointing his scepter at Rick.

 

"Fuck off you mutt" Rick snarled, shooting blasts at his foe.

 

He just needs to survive for 20 minutes, giving Morty enough time to collect the whatevers to escape the Duck Hunt world. Can he hold off an army of evil ducks, and the God Emperor Dog from Duck Hunt?

[Callisto]

Learn More About
Dog (Duck Hunt)
Read more about Dog (Duck Hunt) at Wikipedia
Official Site: Nintendo Links: Wikipedia Nintendo Wiki Giant Bomb

Ducks (Duck Hunt)
Read more about Ducks (Duck Hunt) at Wikipedia
Official Site: Nintendo Links: Wikipedia Nintendo Wiki Giant Bomb

Rick Sanchez
Read more about Rick Sanchez at Wikipedia
Official Site: Adult Swim Links: Wikipedia

[SSJRuss]

@OMFGThis is hilarious. Probably your best set-up yet.

The humor was on point, which is no surprise coming from you. I've never seen Rick and Morty but this felt like it's totally and character and seemed like it was straight from one of the episodes.

And way to make the dog and ducks serious. God Emperor Dog? James Pond? Very creative lol.

I feel like Rick and Morty should have this one covered, but my vote goes to the ducks.

They have families, ya know?

[DSkillz]

Haven't read this one yet, but having played Duck Hunt plenty myself back in the day, I'm pretty sure that at some point Rick's gonna want to shoot the ducks and the dog.  

[OMFG]

54 minutes ago, DSkillz said:

Haven't read this one yet, but having played Duck Hunt plenty myself back in the day, I'm pretty sure that at some point Rick's gonna want to shoot the ducks and the dog.  

Oh boy, are you in for a treat 😉

[Fox]

Great work on this scenario. Going in I wasn't expecting this to work as well as it did.  The narrative sets up everything nicely with the stakes, has good characterization and also we see the real Duckmanity of war through the eyes of the Duck.

Nice one!

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
CBUB Match Judge : 5 Stars x 2
CBUB Match Judge : 5 Stars x 2
CBUB Member : Join date after Dec. 31 2019. Not counted.
CBUB Match Judge : 4 Stars x 2

FPA Calculation:
4 + 2 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 6 Total Votes
( (4 * 5) + (2 * 4) + (0 * 3) + (0 * 2) + (0 * 1) ) = 28 Total Stars Score
28 / 6 = 4.67 Total Rating

MATCH SCORE
Dog (Duck Hunt) and Ducks (Duck Hunt): 9
Rick Sanchez: 1

[DSkillz]

Ahhh, sorry for not getting back to this match in time to vote and rate, OMFG. 

Great and hilarious match here.  If I had gotten to it in time, only some spelling and grammar mistakes would've kept me from giving it five stars. As for the match, Rick and Morty's only hope is if Jerry's as good at Duck Hunt as he says he is. You almost have to be a pro to last twenty minutes playing Duck Hunt, and I doubt first timer Rick would be much help here.