Match 13017 Guy Gardner vs. The Hulk

[Guest tomisntblue]

You'd think being a space cop would come with a bigger reward than a pat on the back and a "job well done", in Guy's case come with more than a lecture every time you get your job done. And you'd think those blue midgets had some sort of interplanetary currency, good on any planet, so they could actually PAY the Lanterns for the work they do. But nope, just they sit in their fancy little tower, with their stupid little robes, and remind Guy that's his ego and recklessness endangered the mission, despite the fact that Guy did better than any other frikkin' Lantern on the mission.

 

Since lectures don't pay bills, or put food of the table, or pay your medical expenses after you just went 9 blasted rounds with an entire fleet of Red Lanterns, Guy had to find himself a day job; a day job with medical benefits. He wanted to go back to his old job, gym teacher, but it seems most schools consider the possibly of "alien enemies raining down lasers like hell fire and kidding children in a desperate attempt to settle old scores with the space cop who stopped their plans," a liability and don't want to "endanger the children".

 

But, there was one school just careless, crazy, or desperate enough to take their chances on Guy. And so, Guy started his first day as Mr. Gardner. Pulling into the parking lot, he found himself actually excited to be working with kids again. "Would you like at that, I even got myself a parking space," he said, "Finally, some bosses who appreciate me."

 

Stepping out of the car, he was greeted with, "Morning Mr. Gardner."

 

"Good morning principle," he replied.

 

"I see you drove," said the principle, adjusting his tie and straightening his glasses.

 

"Well yeah, what else was I supposed to do? Fly here like a big green beacon, yelling to everyone, "Hey if you ever had a problem with a GL in the past, there's one headed to this school full of innocent middle school kids'? "Cause I didn't think that was the best idea, do you?"

 

"Well, no... Good thinking there."

 

"What can I say? I'm practically a freaking genius."

 

"Glad to hear you say that. A genius like you wouldn't happen to want to chaperone a field trip to science expo, would you?"

 

"Science expo? Uh, doesn't really sound like my thing. Besides, I got a class to teach."

 

"Well, yes, technically. But you see our usual science teacher got sick, and I figured since P.E. is a much less important class, we could cancel it today while you go on the trip."

 

Guy took a second to himself. Not important? Not important? In a world with an obesity epidemic P.E. wasn't important? What kid couldn't benefit from a little exercise, all while learning how to work and play as a team? It's attitudes like this that are making sure our kids grow into out of shape losers who die of heart attacks at the age of 30.

 

But Guy didn't say that. He was already on thin ice being a Green Lantern. He had to make a good impression. So he turned his scowl into a smile, as best he could, and said, "Yeah, sure, I'll go on the field trip; since you couldn't just higher a sub or anything."

 

"Well, you see, it was so last minute that...."

 

"Save it, I said I'll go, geez."

 

The expo went alright. There were some neat new gadgets, but most were unimpressive after dealing with so many intergalactic freaks. After an hour into the show, Guy had enough and decided it was time to excuse himself to the rest room, leaving the kids in the hands of their parents and guardians who were able to come along on the field trip.

 

On his way back, some bozo in a lab coat turned a corner sharp, bumped into Guy, and dropped a briefcase. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" Guy snapped

 

"Oh, no, oh no," the guy muttered, dropping to his hands and knees and opening his briefcase.

 

"Hey buddy, you could at least say you're sorry."

 

The scientist opened the briefcase, releasing some sort of smoke. He pulled out a pile of papers, each one with a hole burnt, or being burnt into it, "No, my work, my research!"

 

"Enough!" Guy said and stepped on the lid to the briefcase, closing it, and almost taking the man's hand off.

 

"What are you doing?" The man asked, "I need to try and save my work!"

 

"Yeah, well I need an apology."

 

"Apology?" The man asked, "You RUINED YEARS of research. And any chance I had a saving it is DISSAPEARING because you won't let me open the brief case."

 

"What are you talking about? I didn't ruin nothin'! You're the one who ran into me!"

 

From down the hall, at the main stage, the female host called, "And next up we have Doctor Bruce Banner!"

 

"Oh no," the man said, "There's no time left. I need..." He stood quickly and started walking to the stage.

 

Guy grabbed his shoulder, "Look here - Bruce! "“ you better apologies, because I'm running out of patience."

 

"So am I..." Doctor Banner said. Suddenly, his muscles began to expand, his skin turned green, his cloths ripped. And in seconds, Guy was standing before a giant, hulking, monster.

 

"Oh, you're THAT Banner..." Guy said, "I thought your name was David." Guy was sent flying through a wall with one punch (ONE PUNCH!) and just barely had time to put his shield up.

 

Pulling himself out of the wall, Guy looked at the Hulk right before he screamed and said, "HULK SMASH BAD HAIRCUT MAN!"

 

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Guy Gardner vs The Hulk. Can Guy protect the kids, and the rest of the innocent people? Can Guy calm the Hulk down and get his apology? Will Guy keep his job??

[Callisto]

Learn More About

Guy Gardner

Read more about Guy Gardner at Wikipedia

Official Site: DC Comics Links: Wikipedia Entry DC Universe Guide DC Database Project

 

The Hulk

Read more about The Hulk at Wikipedia

Official Site: Marvel Comics Links: Wikipedia: The Incredible Hulk The Marvel Database: The Hulk Marvel.com: The Hulk

 

 

[AVP vs The Terminator]

Holy shit it's tomisntblue. A from me on the set-up, and I think Bad Haircut Man should be able to contain Hulk and get him to calm down.

[Guest tomisntblue]

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been on CBUB, and even longer since my last match. I kind of figure votes will be heavily in Guy's favor, that's why I put in the "get his apology" clause. Anyway, this was just a encounter that I thought would be really fun to see considering Hulks anger issues and Guy's skills at making people mad.

[Guest bigballerju]

LOL excellent setup and Hulk wins. Guy's too much of a loudmouth to calm Hulk down and Hulk won't be giving any apology nor let Bruce Banner give any. Guy like usually loses his job because he was being a ass.

[DSkillz]

Heh, heh, good set-up, tom, welcome back. You have both Guy's and Bruce/Hulk's personalities down very well here.

 

As for the match, yeah, Guy is the obnoxious type that gets people riled up, and gets equally brash as a result. As such, I could see Guy just trying to stop Hulk by force and getting yet another beatdown as a result.

 

BTW, tom, I've noticed you've got over 10,000 posts. With that milestone comes a new feature that allows you to change your posting title as much as you wish. Just thought you'd like to know.

[Guest skadoosh]

I'd go with the Lantern for the easy win, via containing the Hulk in a bubble, or punching off-planet with a big, green fist, but the Hulk might come back from the Lanterns attacks, angrier and stronger, and if so he might be able to smash the light constructs, making it far more difficult, and maybe impossible, for the Lantern to win.

 

And there is absolutely no way the Hulk apologizes.

[Guest kwant]

I'd go with the Lantern for the easy win, via containing the Hulk in a bubble, or punching off-planet with a big, green fist, but the Hulk might come back from the Lanterns attacks, angrier and stronger, and if so he might be able to smash the light constructs, making it far more difficult, and maybe impossible, for the Lantern to win.

 

And there is absolutely no way the Hulk apologizes.

 

 

Hulk has broken far stronger objects then a green energy bubble by Guy. HulkWILL eventually get his hands on Guy and easily defeat him.

[Guest skadoosh]

The Lantern can fly, very fast, too, and constantly barrage Hulk with solid light, so Hulk wont be getting his hands on him easily at all. Also, Hulk will have to gain a decent amount of strength in order to break through some of the stronger light constructs, and even if he does, he might not do so in time. One bubble and good throw and Hulk is somewhere in space.

[Guest Revtom]

How much strength is needed to pop the bubble? My understanding is that a "calm" Hulk can lift @ 90-100Tons. This one is already angry. Also as he gets angrier, Hulk's reflexes seem to ramp up. No stats or feats off hand, sorry.

[C.T.]

Guy can fly, Hulk can only jump really high. Meaning, if Guy plays it smart, Hulk can't touch him.

[comic_book_fan]

Guy can fly, Hulk can only jump really high. Meaning, if Guy plays it smart, Hulk can't touch him.

true but if hulk gets mad enough a well placed thunder clap could stun guy enough for hulk to get to him .

[Guest shellsbut]

If Hulk is enraged Guy is done. The Marvel class 100 ton class is a joke as almost everyone in the class 100 has shown class 100 000 to class 1 000 000 or even trillion or quadrillion or more, PLANET BUSTERS AND SUCH. Marvel needs to update big time. A none enraged Grey Hulk tossed multiple railcars attached to eathother around like nothing and even better calm showings. NAmor has lifted oil tankers on and on this goes for class 100 in MArvel. They are so out of date (even at the time of printing the encylopedias) that is is a joke.

[DSkillz]

As one of the most powerful Green Lanterns, Guy definitely has the power and ability to take down and/or contain an enraged Hulk. Given the situation and Gardner's usual persona, however, he probably won't think to use those abilities. I can see Guy trying to take Hulk head on, only for his attacks to enrage Hulk even further, and Hulk eventually gets strong enough to give Guy the KO.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

USER RATINGS

C

A

SCORE

Guy Gardner: 5

The Hulk: 19

FPA: 3.0