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Match 18357 Don Lockwood vs. Roxie Hart


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“Hello, hello, all you boys and girls in Radio Land!  This is your ol’ buddy, Tick Tock McGlaughlin bringing you all the news from Tinsel Town!  And boy, do I have a treat for you cinema lovers out there!  You’ve heard the rumors and whispers coming out of Monumental Pictures; that they were on the verge of finally giving the mysterious ‘Broadway Melody’ it’s due.  I told you dear listeners about how a series of scenes were cut from the Lockwood/Lamont hit “The Dancing Cavalier”, scenes that supposedly featured Don Lockwood’s finest terpsichorean talent.  But now, friends, the wait is over!  Not only will Don Lockwood be bringing ‘Broadway Melody’ to the silver screen as it’s own full length picture, he won’t be going at alone!  No sir!  Not just one lovely lady, but two!  Yes!  Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart, those two Midwestern firecrackers, will soon be exploding over Hollywood!” 

Kathy switched off the radio set as Don sipped his coffee at the table.  “I wish they wouldn’t go on about it like that,” she said.  “It’s all for publicity, Kathy,” said Don as he put aside his napkin and set his cup down.  “RF’s wanted to make sure the next musical we did after ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ got just as big a buildup.” 

“But all of these reporters and men on the radio, going on about Kelly and Hart,” said Kathy.  “Do they really have to praise them so much?”  Don walked over to Kathy with concerned look on his face.  “Hey.  It’s nothing to be upset about.”  Kathy sighed as Don put his arms around her.  “I guess I just don’t like the idea of you working with them.  You can’t blame a wife for being nervous about her husband being up close and personal with two suspected murderesses.”  Don chuckled and gave Kathy a kiss on the cheek.  “Don’t worry, my dear.  Your husband is perfectly safe.” 

The door to the kitchen swung open and Cosmo Brown strolled in.  “Good morning, lovebirds!” 

“Good morning!” Don and Kathy sang back in unison.  They looked at each other for a moment then laughed.  Cosmo grinned and folded his arms.  “Nice to see the honeymoon still isn’t over.  Ready to meet with the Borgia twins tomorrow, Don?”  Don glanced down at Kathy’s uneasy expression before clearing his throat and disentangling himself from her.  “Velma and Roxie aren’t twins, Cos,” he said as he crossed to his friend.  “And from what I hear they didn’t use arsenic.” 

“Aw, too bad,” replied Cosmo.  “If they did you could’ve really picked your poison.” 

“Oh, Cos!” Kathy cried.  Cosmo and Don looked in surprise as Kathy ran past them and out of the kitchen.  Cosmo turned to Don in confusion.  “What’s the matter with her?”  Don glared at Cosmo.  “Cos, you’re my pal, but for once in your life would it kill you to ease up on the wisecracks?”  Don ran out after Kathy, leaving a somber Cosmo behind. 

He ran upstairs to the door of Kathy’s room.  Don could hear her quiet sobbing.  He gently pushed the door open to see Kathy sitting on the bed with her back to the doorway.  He leaned against the frame and looked as Kathy tried to brush the tears from her eyes.  “You are my lucky star,” he sang softly.  Kathy turned to see Don, her lip trembling.  She gave small cough and sniffed.  “I’m sorry, Don.  I’m happy that you’ve gotten another picture to work on, but… Those women.  Kelly and Hart.  Even if they didn’t actually kill anyone, they still aren’t afraid to lean into it for publicity.  And if they did kill someone…”  Don walked into the room, sat down on the bed next to Kathy and gave her a hug.  “Don’t worry, Kathy.  The studio wouldn’t have signed them to this deal if they weren’t sure they were safe.  And I’ll be careful.  I promise.”  Kathy sniffed again and gave small smile.  “Well, you better be, mister,” she said, placing her hand on her belly.  “Since you’ll have two people waiting for you to come home from the studio.”  Don gave a knowing glance.  “That’s right.  While I’m working with the two firecrackers of the Midwest, I’ll know that waiting at the old homestead will be you…” He grinned.  “And Cosmo.”  Kathy laughed as Don leaned in and gave her a kiss. 

“And it all starts tomorrow, folks!  Filming begins for Monumental Studios “Broadway Melody”!  The biggest musical extravaganza of the 20s starring Don Lockwood, Velma Kelly, and Roxie Hart!  And this one reporter who will be first in line when they start selling those tickets!  Until next time, this has been Tick Tock McGlaughlin from…” 

The broadcast was cut short as a silver high heeled shoe collided with the radio, nearly knocking it off the table it was perched on.   A second shoe followed, succeeding in sending the broken radio crashing to the floor.  Roxie paced the floor of the dressing room angrily as Velma laid stretched out on the couch reading their reviews.  Both women were still dressed in the silver skirts for their act.  “I can’t believe this crap!” Roxie ranted.  “My first shot in pictures and I’m stuck with a bit part, and you get to play footsies with Don Lockwood!”  Velma turned the page of her newspaper and rolled onto her back, holding the paper over her.  “Relax, Rox.  We’re finally getting a movie, we’re getting paid, and we get to have our own number.” 

“Oh goodie!” Roxie said sarcastically.  “I’m so glad I get to share the screen with you… for 3 scenes!  Then you’re off to your TWO dance numbers with Lockwood!”  Velma shrugged.  “Don’t take it out on me, kid.  Take it up with Monumental.”  Roxie fumed as she stomped over to pick up her shoes and sit down at her vanity desk.  “Yeah, and you had nothing to do with it, either,” she grumbled. 

There was a knock at the door to the dressing room.  Velma tossed the newspaper to the floor.  “Come on in.  Enter at your own risk.”  The door opened, and Billy Flynn entered.  “Well, now,” he said smiling.  “How are my two future starlets doing?” 

“Oh, drop dead!” Roxie snapped.  Billy looked to Velma, who shook her head and walked behind a screen to change.  “That’s quite a way to talk to a fella,” he said to Roxie, putting on all of his charm.  “After all I’ve done for you two.  Saved the two of you from the rope, quit a profitable job as attorney to lend my assistance as your agent, and this is the thanks I get?”  Roxie whirled around in the chair.  “Yeah, you’ve done so much, but couldn’t get me a bigger part in this dumb picture?!” 

“Roxie, darling, it was frankly a minor a miracle I could get either of you into this picture,” Billy said, occasionally glancing back at the screen.  “It took me weeks just to get Monumental to return my phone calls.  Then I had to convince them that it was a good business move to get two women who were nearly convicted of murder to appear with America’s favorite movie star on the same screen.” 

“Set it to violins, Billy!” Roxie huffed as she turned her back to Billy.  Velma emerged from behind the screen in black dress and cocktail hat.  “Listen, Billy, could you talk to our little friend about the facts of life?  The alderman’s invited me to be his guest at an afterparty.” 

“Just be at the train station at 7 sharp!” Billy said.  Velma gave a mockingly salute then headed for the door.  “See you tomorrow, Roxie!” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Roxie grumbled.  Velma closed the door behind her as Billy leaned behind Roxie.  “Listen, kid.  This is still a big-time opportunity for you.”  Roxie scoffed.  “Please, Billy, spare me the ‘no small parts’ jazz, OK?  You said it yourself how hard it was to set this up.  After this movie, no studio is gonna give us a second chance to make another one.” 

“Well, that might not be true.”  Roxie turned back to face Billy.  “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means I put a little clause in your contracts,” said Billy.  “A little proviso that says that if something were to happen to halt production of ‘Broadway Melody’, both you and Velma would be given another film to make good.” 

“But what’s gonna stop this turkey from getting made?” 

Billy smirked.  “Oh, lots of things could happen on a movie set.  Actors have accidents all the time.  Especially ones who like doing their own stunts for their films.”  Roxie’s eyes widened as realization dawned.  “Ooooh!  So, if something were to… happen to ol’ Don, then me and Velma would get our own movie?”  Billy put his hands on Roxie’s shoulders as they gazed into the mirror.  “All purely hypothetical, of course.  But someone would need to be very careful and very smart to keep from getting caught.”  Billy kissed Roxie on the top of her head.  “I need to get going.  Someone’s got to keep an eye on Velma.  You’ll be alright to get back to the hotel?”  Roxie waved absently at Billy as she continued looking at her reflection.  “Yeah, sure.” 

“Remember, 7 sharp.”  Billy stopped at the door and turned back to Roxie.  “And remember what I said.  Think about it.”  Billy closed the door behind him as Roxie drummed her fingers on the table.  A dangerous smile played on her lips as she gazed into the mirror.  “California, here I come!” 

OK:

Roxie needs to kill Don Lockwood as he is filming his movie with Velma.  However she chooses to do so, she must not get caught. 

If Don survives, or Roxie is found out, Don wins. 

Game On! 

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THE BOTTOM LINE

“Hello, hello, you samplers of the Silver Screen!  It’s your old pal Tick Tock McGlaughlin with another tidbit from Tinsel Town!  And I gotta tell you, folks, we just had a clove shave, and we didn’t even have to stop by the barbershop on the corner to get it!  Yes, news reports of an accident that took place at Monumental’s filming of “Broadway Melody”.  They were rolling the cameras for an exciting dance duet between Mr. Don Lockwood and Miss Velma Kelly, when all of a sudden the platform that Mr. Lockwood was tapping on gave way!  Yessir, like the walls of Jericho, the set came a tumbling down, and all of Hollywood held it’s breath.  Thankfully, Don’s stuntman training kicked in, and he was able go into a somersault and land out of the way of the collapsing set piece.  Don’t worry, fans.  Don suffered a sprained ankle, and will be putting aside his tap shoes for a week or two.  But he’ll be able to go on with making “Broadway Melody” the biggest smash of the 20s!” 

The studio orchestra loudly played the big band number as a chorus line of beautiful women danced behind Velma and Roxie.  The two danced in perfect unison together, smiling for the camera as Don watched intently from a director’s chair.  With a final flourish, the orchestra reached a crescendo and Velma and Roxie did stereo cartwheels and landed in the splits.  The ladies and their back up dancers hit their final poses. 

“Cut!  And print it!” shouted the director Sid Philips.  Don applauded from his seat as Roxie and Velma rose from their splits.  They walked over to Don as the chorus girls chatted in excitement over the successful take.  “You two were fantastic out there!”  said Don. 

“Why, thank you, Donny,” said Velma.  “Couldn’t have done it without you teaching us the choreography.  Right, Roxie?”  Roxie’s strained smile struggled to hold onto her face.  “Oh yes.  That was real swell of you.” 

“Don!  Don!”  Don turned back to see Kathy making her way across the studio floor.  Don got off the chair and gingerly made his way to her.  “Honey, what are you doing here?” he said giving her a hug.  “I wanted to see how you were doing, dear.  I didn’t want you to push yourself to fast.” 

Billy Flynn walked up behind Velma and Roxie as they watched Don and Kathy kiss.  “That lucky stiff!” Roxie grumbled.  “Why couldn’t he have just broken his neck instead of his ankle?  We could have had our own movie and everything!” 

“What’s that, Roxie?” Velma asked with a knowing stare.  Roxie looked uncomfortable.  “Um.. Nothin’.  Nothing at all.  Let’s just get this dumb picture over with.” 

“Don’t look so glum, Roxie,” said Billy.  “I’ve managed to talk with ol’ RF.  He’s agreed to give you a bigger part in the picture!”  Roxie lit up.  “Really?  Me?!  What am I gonna do?”  Billy started to sweat.  “Well, the idea is to give you your own love interest.  Velma has Don.  And you have er…”  Roxie put her hands on her hips and glared at Billy.  “Just what have you gotten me into, genius?” 

Sid Philips rushed past the three and over to Kathy and Don.  “Kathy, darling!  Where is he?  You did bring him with you, didn’t you?”  Kathy nodded and grinned.  “Oh, he’s here alright.  He wouldn’t want to miss this for anything!” 

Cosmo Brown stepped out from behind a flat and waved to the crew.  “Hello, gang!  Well, here I am, ready to start this picture off on the right foot!”  Cosmo tripped and did a pratfall, drawing laughter from the crowd.  Roxie fumed at Billy and Velma as Cosmo continued his routine.  “You mean I have to be stuck for the next 2 months with that moron?!”  Velma shrugged and smiled.  “That’s showbiz…kid.” 

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