Match 13271 Uchiha Itachi and Darth Maul vs. Morlocks (Marvel)

[xLEGACYx]

Previous chapter

http://www.electricf...showtopic=29934

 

 

 

 

Darth Maul stood on the roof, poised to attack. Twirling his light saber above his head, he was preparing a strike that would be brought down to severe Gambit in half. As he moved in, Gambit countered blocking with his own energy imbued staff. The two men traded clashes between weapons. The illumination of there weapons lighting up the dark rooftop. Gambit planted his staff into the roof and a shockwave knocked Maul back. He turned his fall into a flip and landed atop an air condition unit . Crouched and holding his light saber behind him, Maul thrust his hand forward and sent a wave through the force. Gambit was knocked backwards over the ledge of the roof. He managed to grab the edge of the roof and was left hanging by one arm. Darth Maul walked over to where his target clutched on to the side of the roof. Maul stood over the top of Gambit, and raised his light saber to strike. Gambit snickered, "Not yet, mon ami!" The ledge began to glow a warm pink. Gambit kicked off of the side of the building and launched himself across the alley to the neighboring building. At the same time Maul had sensed what was happening through the force and had launched himself across the alley but not soon enough. The blast sent him hurling through the air and he tumbled across the roof. Rising to his feet he saw multiple glowing projectiles flying towards him. He jumped and twisted in the air, narrowly avoiding the cards as they passed by. The exploded behind him as each hit a surface behind. Using the force he launched a couple of the cards back at Gambit. This caused Gambit to lose his focus as he had to dodge his own weapons. During this time Darth Maul disappeared into the darkness while Gambit was distracted. He slipped through the shadows until he had maneuvered behind his target. He reactivated his light saber as Gambit turned around. Once again Gambit blocked the strike but Maul was ready this time. He let loose a torrent of force lightning that radiated through Gambits body until it fell limp. Maul bared his teeth with a growl in his victory. For good measure he used his light saber to swipe off Gambits head. He then activated his beacon to summon his ship. As the Scimitar hovered above the roof, Maul used the force to aid him in jumping into the open hatch.

 

Maul sat in the control chair to his ship. He activated the coordinates to return him to his master's headquarters. As he was about to activate the engines, he sensed another presence on board his ship. As he turned around another of his masters assassins emerged from the shadows. In a growl Maul uttered his name, "Itachi!!! Why are you here?" With a smile on his face Itachi spoke, "Our master has a more important mission for us than these fools errands you have been on. You have been tested and now that our master has seen you can perform well in the field, you will accompany me with this. A man has gained to much power in this world, Norman Osborne. Its our mission to send him a message. Set the ship for these coordinates." Handing over a slip of paper, Itachi made his way to the back of the ship. "When we reach the destination, let me know.", Itachi said as he walked through a sliding door. Maul turned around in his chair and the anger swelled in him. Slamming his hand down on the controls, the engine purred to life and it soared into the distance.

 

Hours later...

 

The Scimitar sat down in an abandoned lot a few blocks from there intended location. Due to the cloaking device for the ship, only a swirl of dust clouds could be seen. As the ship sat down Itachi reappeared from the shadows of the ship. In a commanding tone, "I have done some recon of the area. The best access I can think of is from underneath. There are access tunnels that are lightly guarded. While I don't like you anymore than you like me, the master said this mission is too important to let fail." The two assassins made there way below ground through a maintenance tunnel that led into the sewers. The two made there way though the darkness. Itachi Uchiha wore his signature straw hat and robe. Darth Maul was clad in his cloak. His hood concealed the tattoos and horns upon his head and face. The two assassins walked side by side down the dark tunnels. The tension between the two could be cut by a knife. Neither could care less if the other died at any moment but both knew that the mission was more important than their hatred for one another. In the darkness, not much could be seen. Using the force, Maul guided them both threw the maze of tunnels that led to Osborne's tower. In the dark, Maul could feel the expansion of the room as it opened up into a larger area. As they entered the presence of several other figures could be felt. Itachi could sense them as well. Then suddenly lights flashed on and beings figures could all be seen standing on a ledge all around them. In a voice that echoed through out the chamber Callisto warned, "This is our home. You have no right to be here. Leave now or face the consequences." Itachi and Maul looked at one another in delight. No matter there hatred for one another, they both loved a good challenge. Then in one phrase, Itachi brought the anger right back to the surface for Darth Maul, "Wouldn't be a shame if one of us didn't survive this encounter?!"

 

Itachi Uchiha (shippuden)

Darth Maul

 

VS

 

(All are base level versions)

Caliban

Callisto

Ray Carter

Marrow

Feral

Erg

Brute

Thornn

Bulk

Carver

Monte

Sunder

Skids

Ape

Mole

[Callisto]

Learn More About

Darth Maul

Read more about Darth Maul at Wikipedia

Official Site: 20th Century Fox Films Links: Darth Maul Wikipedia page Star Wars Wikipedia page Episode I: The Phantom Menace imdb page

 

Uchiha Itachi

Read more about Uchiha Itachi at Wikipedia

Official Site: Shounen Jump (Kishimoto M.) Links: Wikipedia Prodigy Naruto Fan > Uchiha Itachi

 

Morlocks (Marvel)

Read more about Morlocks (Marvel) at Wikipedia

Official Site: Marvel Comics Links: Wikipedia UncannyXmen.Net X-Men Wiki

 

 

[xLEGACYx]

This match is a set up for the next but Its a way for me to introduce Itachi as another assassin. Im trying to build a small rivalry between the two to go forwards.

 

Let me know if you think either Maul or Itachi would die in the match can alter my story accordingly

[Guest sirmethos]

Itachi can win this pretty easily, even without getting help from Maul.

[Guest Dinsdale Piranha]

Very nice! I like this match and am intrigued by the direction the story is moving. When you were asking for ideas, I never thought of the Morlocks.

 

A couple of writerly things to look out for...

 

Twirling his light saber above his head, he was preparing a strike that would be brought down to severe Gambit in half.

 

Be careful of over-complicating sentences. Look things over and try to keep words to a minimum for the information and effect you are going for. Action scenes need to be fast moving and very straightforward sentences help do that. If you shortened your sentence just a bit, it would make a difference.

 

Twirling his light saber above his head, he prepared to sever Gambit in half.

 

There are two other things here that can slow the pace of the scene down. The first is using a using a state of being verb (was, were, are) where you could use an action verb (run, leap, strike). Action verbs are dynamic and connect us with the action. State of being verbs move us a small step away from the action. You can see the difference in: he was preparing a strike vs he prepared a strike.

 

A second thing is echoes. This isn't technically an error, but editors hate it when they see words or phrases repeated in close proximity. It can set up a weird rhythm that distracts the reader.

 

Gambit was knocked backwards over the ledge of the roof. He managed to grab the edge of the roof and was left hanging by one arm.

 

Try to avoid phrases like these that sound a lot like each other.

 

The exploded behind him as each hit a surface behind.

 

Also try to avoid using the same word in such close succession.

 

The only other thing I wanted to say is that you should not trust your spell checker. Nobody should trust a spell-checker, ever. The problem is that they give the illusion that they're fixing problems and lull people into failing to do their own proof-reading. The worst problem with spell-checkers is that they they can only tell you if something is not a real word; they can't tell you if it's the right word. Two examples:

 

...he was preparing a strike that would be brought down to severe sever Gambit in half.

The illumination of there their weapons lighting up the dark rooftop.

 

I put my corrections in red. The problem is that "severe" and "there" are both real words. They're not the right words here, but the spell-checker is too stupid to know that. Always double check yourself and, if you're going to submit a story to an editor, at least triple check your spelling and grammar.

 

But the action was clear and the scene was exciting. Keep it up!

[Guest God-Speed_88]

Itachi could solo - 10/10.

[Guest khoi]

Team 1?

[xLEGACYx]

Since some believe this is too easy, Im going to add more Morlocks

[Dark Spider-man]

Very good setup!!!!! And Gambit is toast!!!! (I hate Gambit). as for ideas be cool to have like spies and assassins from books or film like Ninja Assassin, Bourne, Bond, The Warriors Way(though that movie was pretty bad), etc.

[xLEGACYx]

Very good setup!!!!! And Gambit is toast!!!! (I hate Gambit). as for ideas be cool to have like spies and assassins from books or film like Ninja Assassin, Bourne, Bond, The Warriors Way(though that movie was pretty bad), etc.

im trying to stick to the assassins from other media taking on marvel characters for this

[leroypowell3]

Had to look at some Nauruto video because I've never watched the show. But seeing him: Itachi and Darth Maul should both survive this encounter. You never know, somebody could get lucky but both these men are trained killers. I'm excited to see who their target is.

[Guest Magnetrex]

If anyone has ever read the Mutant Massacre, you will know by now that these will not stand a chance in this fight (let alone a dark Jedi).

[Guest The Lord Dragon Reborn]

I'm loving the storyline. Though, the Morlocks never stood a chance.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

No User Ratings on this match received!

SCORE

Uchiha Itachi and Darth Maul: 19

Morlocks (Marvel): 4

FPA: 0