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Disclaimer: NSFW Language: ConfessionFPT looked at the blank Microsoft Word Document before him, the vertical black line blinked at him, mockingly. This used to be so easy in 6th grade. He’d jus write down “Hey, I was hanging out with my friend Crash Bandicoot the other day, we went on a walk and got in a fight with the T-1000 Terminator, pls vote, comment, and rate, k thnx, bye!” And then he would make 5 sequels to it somehow. He kept making matches on electricferret.com through high school, adding obscure manga characters to the database that were never used by anyone. Not even him. Again, the match set-ups and fights flowed freely out of him. He mimicked the Play-by-Play format that was originally presented by the Website, placing himself as a commentator alongside the BBEG from the end of Kingdom Hearts. Why would a final boss be a fictitious fight commentator? It would be so out of character for him. Even more out of character was that Android 18 the field-side interviewer. The entire premise made no sense, but still, the young man wrenched much enjoyment out the format. Even when the Official CBUB went away, in college he went on a hot streak writing a continuous story arc, written over a year and featuring 20+ installments about his version of the Suicide Squad, which featured Killer Croc, Rick and Morty, Waluigi and the Monopoly Guy for some reason. What was different between the middle school, high school, and college versions of CFPT and him today? Was it the fact that he was in school and avoiding doing homework, so he wrote mock fights instead? Does the monotony of married life come with too much reasonability, that he doesn’t even have the time to ask the question “Who would win in a fight?” Was his fan-fiction writing days over forever? OR could he squeeze out one more story? But who would the story be about? Someone he added to the database like that Perry The Platyborg or Oscar the Grouch? Or someone more mainstream like Black Widow or the Teen Titans. All this weighed on his mind as the empty Word Doc stared back at him. What did he use to do? Well he almost always wrote in first person back then, maybe he should start with that: So here I am, sitting at the computer trying to write my first CBUB story in years…maybe I can try adding a character to the database? Someone to spice up the roster and someone I can get excited about…like …Mokujin from Tekken. Man, I miss that bitch. They didn’t even put him in their latest installment of that series. I mean, like, he’s there. His image is present in Tekken 7, but you can’t BE him. And I’ll never NOT be mad about it. So…Mokujin from Tekken is walking through the woods. Lady Mokujin had jus kicked him out of their house, again, because Dude Mokujin keeps sneaking out to the forest arcade to play the arcade version of Tekken 3 that is visible in his Tekken 3 Arcade ending. Shit. Imma gonna stop that plot thread for now, because that jus got waaaaay too meta for its own good. I said the words “arcade” and “Tekken 3” way too many times, in a very short amount of time. But I really like where I’m going with this, maybe I can give this fight a real PS1 vibe, with Mokujin as the principal character. But, uh, he’s gonna need an antagonist. A “heel”, if you will. You know, I have this running idea about making a new Pac-Man fever game, and I would put Mokujin in it. So…why don’t we jus do that? Mokujin vs another Namco character to see who would win at Pac Man Fever? No, that’s not quite it, but I’m close… Wait a tick, is PACMAN NOT IN THE DATABASE?! Never mind, I found him. Remember in Street Fighter Crosses Tekken when Pac-Man and Mokujin were playable characters, but only, together? That was weird right? Like, where did Pac-Man get a big Mokujin Mech? But at the same time, wasn’t Moku-Pac-Man the purest embodiment of what Capcom and Namco were trying to accomplish? The perfect combination of two things that don’t gel? An example of true misguided synergy? An attempt to serve the fans but ending up making something that everyone hated instead? This works on so many levels. (So I decide Mokujin and Pac-Man are going to fight, but realize that the most well-known incarnations of the characters don’t depict them using comprehendible language. But then again, when has the Tekken franchise let a little thing like language barriers derail their story.) So what I have so far is, Mokujin is kicked out by wife for being a lazy POS, he’s walking in the woods looking for the Tekken 3 arcade machine in the forest. And when he gets there…Pac-Man is also there! He’s marking the cabinet with graffiti! Much like how his creators feared the American youth would mark his machines if they had named him “Puck-Man”, the big yellow dot was writing a word on the vintage machine, and that word, began with a big red “F”. Mokujin shook his fist in anger, him speaking sounded like someone was beating two wooden blocks together offscreen. Reading his subtitles, you can see that he said “I told you I never wanted to see your round face again!” Pac-Man smirked and laughed into his hand. “You were the beginning of the end for me,” Mokujin continued, “If you hadn’t come along, I still may be a player character in my own franchise! Collaborating with you was the worst decision I ever made!” If you were listening to Pac-Man, it would have sounded like he said “Wakawakawakawkaka.” But if you were reading his subtitles, it would have said “Don’t blame me for your lack of popularity; you’re not in video games anymore because nobody likes you. Your wife doesn’t even like you, or you wouldn’t be here. And, your wife is ugly, unlike my wife who is the most beautiful creature to ever chomp a cherry. I bet your wife even likes me more than you, and why wouldn’t she? I’m the most enduring video game icon of all time, and you’re the least popular fighter in everyone’s least favorite fighting game. I try to convince the suits on the board to trade you for a property that matters like Street Fighter, or Mortal Komabt all the time. The only reason I agreed to appear with your worthless ass in that cross over game, is because it gave me a chance to meet Ryu, who is now my best friend and we hang out all the time after fighting in Super Smash Bros. Another game that you, nor anyone else from your franchise will ever be in. Because no one likes you, no one knows what Tekken is, and you’re the worst of all of them all. In fact, I killed Tiger Jackson. He is the first of many from the Tekken series that I’m going to murder, I’m coming for all you Iron Fool Tournament jabronis. I’m tired of you ruining the good name of the company I built with my mouth. I will slaughter you all.” He dragged the lifeless body of the Disco Dancer out from behind the machine, revealing that he was defacing the arcade cabinet with the dead fighter’s blood. Mokujin clip-clopped in shock, “No! Tiger!” his subtitles read as he knelt down to cradle the cold body, “You, much like the genre of disco, were taken much too soon.” His glowing red eyes intensified as he focused on Pac-Man’s smug face. “You… I may no longer be valuable to my franchise or this company, but what I am, is a true friend! I will not let you hurt a hair on any of my fellow fighters ever again. And when you’re gone, I’ll invite the ghosts to feed on your rotting corpse!” ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Holy God I wrote Pac-Man to be an evil bastard here. So that’s what this series is now. Pac-Man Kills the Tekken Universe. Thanks for bearing with my stream of consciousness there, I really wanted to contribute but was feeling inane amount of writer’s block. Hopefully now that I’ve burst through the ice, I can get more matches up here. So, yeh, Mokujin has access to the entire move set of every Tekken character of every game he’s ever been in. Pac-Man has his abilities from Smash Bros, Pac-Man World, and of course the ability to eat a Power Pellet if he gets his mitts on one. I’m extremely happy that we’re all back and able to do this again. Thank you for reading. Confession FPT Enter your Set-Up for the match here. This is your post - it belongs to you - and you may use the EDIT function at any time in the future to update this post.

Memes aside, my vote goes to Shrek because he's got the fortitude and mobility to outmaneuver Bowser and beat him

Oh I imagine he'd hate to work under Bowser. Shrek just out here doin what he got to do to get back to his swamp. We are all Shrek.

DON'T MOCK THE SHOCKER! Does he have the Shocker-Mobile? Cause, how could Gambit stop the Shocker in the Shocker-Mobile?

I like this match-up. Very fair. I think it'd be cool to have Shrek run a gauntlet of Bowser minions then have to face the boss. I want to see a Shy Guy fight Shrek in addition to this. I think Bowser wins. Would be interesting to see Shrek have to report to a Goomba.

Learn More About Mokujin Read more about Mokujin at Wikipedia Official Site: Bandai Namco Links: Wikipedia Pac-Man Read more about Pac-Man at Wikipedia Official Site: Namco Links: wikipedia Pac-man(game) Jeff's Pac-man Page Pac-man World 2 official site

This is just basically a bigger, stronger, Rocky who has grappling on his side. Keybabe and what not shouldn't matter Hulk Hogan the fictional character is facing Ivan Drago the fictional character. Hulk Hogan is wrestling Rocky if Rocky was less of a younger dog and more of a powerhouse. Hulk Hogan has defeated many huge powerful monster of men. Especially in the 80s and no way Hulk is going down to a 'Threat' to America lol 😂. Drago lost to Rocky in Russia with a Russian crowd. Hulk Hogan has a American crowd he can feed off of. Hulk Hogan wins via grabbling, much stronger punches than Rocky, and with the engery from the crowd.

Excuse me? Don't blame me if you slip in the bath....