Match 9036 G.I. Joe vs. The Xenomorphs

[Guest callisto]

Shanghai, China 2000 Hours Local Time Lian Hao was a short lean old man, a body worn by years on the ocean. His slender arms and slight frame disguised the massive strength of a man who had worked with his hands his whole life. But, Lian wasn’t a fisherman, to him the title invoked images of business men and their children standing on a riverbank using bamboo poles and fishing line. He was an ocean farmer, and that made him part of China’s lifeblood. There was no drinks or laughs on his boat, he survived only by harvesting the plentiful bounties of the oceans. He lived on the open ocean, its salt coursed through his veins with every beat of his heart. Or at least that’s how he preferred to think of it. His father had been an ocean farmer, and his father before him. Lian could go back hundreds of years that way if he wanted to, and he often did, much to the irritation of his wife and son. Lian had lived a long life, and had watched Shanghai grow from a poor city into a bustling city of flashing lights and skyscrapers. He didn’t like it, he liked the old ways. Things were simpler, and people weren’t in such a hurry to do absolutely nothing. It seemed, to him, that everyone was rushing around so fast that they missed out on all the important parts of life. Lian stood on the bow of his ship, looking at the flashing neon lights in disgust. He turned away from the lit sky line and shook his head before hanging it low. As he started to walk towards the cabin of the boat he heard a high pitched whistle. He raised his eyes slowly up towards the black sky over the open ocean. High in the night sky a bright red ball was moving across the black back drop of the universe. Lian watched for a second, reminiscing about how he had watched meteor showers as a child in this very bay. He stopped in the middle of the thought, realizing how close a meteor would have to be for him to see it through the lights of Shanghai Bay. His eyes blinked several times as his mind tried to grasp what was happening. The bright ball was now the size of his boat, and the whistle had become a roar. Lian threw himself to the deck instinctively, as the meteor approached. He felt the boat pitch violently to the side as it screamed just a few feet to the side of his boat. There was an enormous explosion behind him, and his boat was thrown back through the water. Sea spray covered the whole ship, and the tail end of his boat disappeared under water for a brief moment. Lian was violently heaved towards the back of the boat. He tumbled head over heels three times before splashing into the water. Panicked, he grabbed the edge of the boat as the bow splashed back into the water. Kicking his legs furiously he fought to get back into the boat, finally crashing down into wood deck face first. Lian cursed loudly as tried to shake the haze from his mind. Leaning on the back wall of the boat, he worked his legs under his body and steadied himself. His wife and son were climbing out of the bowels of the ship, but Lian didn’t see them. He was staring past them, towards the city he called home. The meteor had smashed through several skyscrapers, causing them to crash down into the streets and on to the smaller buildings below. Lian watched in horror as fires erupted from buildings, and spewed flaming debris all across the water front buildings. Within a half hour the orange and red hue of fire had drowned out all of the bright colors from the remaining neon lights. All Lian Hao could do was sit on his boat and look on in awe.*********The Pit, Location ClassifiedFour Weeks Later Every G.I. Joe on active duty had been called back to the Pit. Most of the Joes grumbled to one another about being called off of mission, or active leave. They knew what it meant; there were only two situations that caused a meeting like this; either to terminate the G.I. Joe program, or to prep for a massive offensive assault. “Man, you would think they stop this ceremonial crap and just phone it in,” Roadblock muttered to himself. “They do it so we can all enjoy your sunny attitude one last time,” Flint yelled from behind. “Ha ha ha, real funny man,” Roadblock snapped back. “Are you two done flirting? I guess we could wait for one of you to ask the other one to dinner. However, I would love to get through this quickly. If that’s alright of course,” Duke said, his voice covering the open expanse of the main floor. Roadblock and Flint closed their mouths and stared up towards the front of the congregation. Duke stood on a cat walk a several feet over the heads of his team. His face was somber and dark circles hung under his eyes. Blonde stubble gave him an aged look, leaving most to agree that the similarities between Duke and General Hawk were shocking. And, normally most would have chuckled about it; a few would have even made a joke at Duke’s expense. But, there was something different about today. The tension that rolled off of Duke was almost visible, and it had an edge reserved for nothing short of all out war. “Spirit when was the last time you saw Duke like that,” Stalker said keeping his voice low. “Chicago,” Spirit answered dryly. Stalker nodded, trying to fight off the cold chill working its way up his spine. Duke picked up a remote, and gently pushed one of the buttons. A satellite image of Shanghai burning appeared behind him. “Shanghai at 2055 hours nearly four weeks ago,” he said and then hit another button. A new satellite image showed up, it was a city covered in a black substance with thousands of light green lines crisscrossing throughout the sprawling metropolis. “This is Shanghai at 1200 hours three weeks ago, and these are images of most major cities in eastern Asia,” Duke growled as he flipped through several more images that looked more and more alien and desolate than the one before it. “What is that stuff,” Scarlett after the fifth picture sprung up on the viewing screen. “We have absolutely no idea. As you may know the Chinese government denied relief efforts to Shanghai as a matter of national security. Vietnam, Korea, Burma, Loas, and Cambodia all followed suit when we started getting similar images from them. However, once it crossed over the Thailand border we were finally given the green light by their government officials. Two days after the go ahead we had a team touch down in Bangkok. They reported these images before we lost contact,” Duke answered in a stiff tone. He flipped to the new images; these were done by a helmet mounted camera. The black substance covered everything; the walls, the roofs, the signs, the streets, and even the vehicles parked on road. The light green lines were much clearer, and looked more translucent than in the satellite images. Everything had a wet shine to it. “God it looks wet, like it’s the inside of something,” Roadblock said loudly. Duke stopped flipping through the images, “The military scientists think it comes from some sort of life form. Similar to what bees, ants, and termites do. They think that this substance is a hive made from the secretions by whatever was on the space debris.” “Life forms? Are we talking about aliens Duke,” Kamakura asked trying to laugh as he said it. His laugh came out choked and weak at the end. Duke merely flicked to the next picture in the sequence. The image of a wall showed up, it was black and twisted from the caprice on it. The next image highlighted the center of the image. It showed a tightly coiled series of lines. Duke went to the next image. The image in the middle was moving; a tail with a spear-like tip on the end was swinging wide, a long tube like head was turned towards the camera, long teeth filled a mouth on an eyeless face, four long cylinders protruded from its back, and two arms and legs moved across the wall. “That’s the last image we have. We lost the vital signals on all twelve squad members less than a minute later. All Joes have been activated for the follow up mission. We will be leaving for Bangkok, Thailand at 0400 hrs tomorrow morning. We should be setting foot in the city at 0600 hrs local time the day after tomorrow,” Duke said as turned off the projector. “Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow, I’m hoping that the Red Ninjas could provide some backup,” Duke said finding both ninjas in the crowd. “We will let them know immediately,” Storm Shadow said while Snake-eyes nodded his head slightly. “That’s it then. You will all be fully briefed in the air tomorrow. So check your gear, pack your bags, and get some rest. You’re going to need it, I can promise you that,” Duke said with a somber smirk before making his way off of the catwalk.*****South China Sea, Outside Bangkok Harbor, Thailand 0530 Hours Local Time The whine of engines starting filled the air on the deck of the USS Ronald Reagan. Three Boeing HH-47s were coming to life in the middle of the Aircraft Carrier. In moments the whine had turned into a roar and the G.I. Joes all filed into the helicopters’ enormous cargo space; giving each soldier plenty of room to sit, and even more room for them to store their equipment. In less then five minutes the gigantic machines lifted off of the ship and started the short flight to the landing zone just inside Bangkok. The helicopters kept low to the water, trying to stay as close to the ocean as possible. As the helicopters started to drop to the sea, the USS Ronald Reagan opened fire on the city. It unleashed all of its firepower towards the landing zone. Heavy artillery rounds smashed into buildings and streets, sending debris speeding through the air. Several volleys of missiles pounded the area surrounding the landing zone, trying to help guarantee a safe start to the mission. The soldiers watched the ensuing destruction from the helicopters. They yelled out in joy as artillery rounds destroyed buildings. They celebrated as the missiles cleared blocks of buildings with each explosion. Some quoted war movies, some made jokes, but most were caught up in the excitement. As they approached the landing zone they all grabbed their guns and equipment and prepared for the rapid deployment. The HH-47s couldn’t touch down, due to the rubble and debris from the bombardment. So they hovered low over the ground, and the soldiers were forced to jump down the last five feet themselves. Some of them tripped and stumbled, some of the found themselves lying flat on the broken street from a misjudged jump, but most made it to the ground without hassle or injury. Within three minutes all 120 soldiers were safely on the ground and the helicopters were pulling back up into the air to head home. “Squads form up. Check your gear, and quiet down. I do not want to be standing here all day. Do you understand me,” Duke shouted into a megaphone. An immediate and enthusiastic “Yes, Sir!” came crashing back to him. Squad leaders quickly formed their ranks, and the soldiers double checked their weapons and equipment. Duke looked down at his watch, 0606 hours. “Not bad for using regular military,” Stalker said as he approached Duke. “Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. Shame that was the easiest part of this whole thing,” Duke replied. “True, but the rest of it is all on us,” Stalker said, smiling while he patted Duke on the shoulder. Duke looked over the four squads of thirty men; they had already separated into their fifteen man fire squads. All battle hardened and experienced, Duke had no doubts about their ability. He just hoped it was enough. A loud piercing screech broke the silence; it was quickly followed by three more. Then as quickly as it had started the noise stopped. “Guess it was too much to ask for them all to be dead already,” Flint said with a chuckle. “Get ready boys, here they come,” Duke shouted as loud as his lungs would let him. The Joes scanned the buildings, the streets, but there was nothing to see. Then they heard a low hissing sound. The sound grew, spreading from in front of them, moving to their flanks quickly. The sound grew until it was louder than the helicopters had been, and then it too suddenly stopped. “They’re screwing with us,” Roadblock yelled. Then the Joes watched the shadows start moving in the buildings. Forms began to take shape on the walls and roofs of the buildings. Creatures began to pull themselves out of the drainage systems. In seconds hundreds of aliens creatures crawled over every surface in sight. “Well boys I think this is a close to an invitation as we are going to get,” Roadblock screamed a second before opening fire on the massive black swarm.Didn’t Read the Setup:G.I. Joes: Beach Head, Breaker, Flash, Rock N’ Roll, Scarlett, Snake-eyes, Storm Shadow, Kamakura, Jinx, Dojo, Nunchuk, Stalker, Cover Girl, Flint, Roadblock, Duke, Gung-Ho, Spirit, Leatherneck, Tunnel Rat, Lightfoot, Spearhead, Drop Zone, Rapid Fire, Heavy Duty25 Red Ninjas and 70 generic G.I. Joe fresh recruitsFighting off:250 Alien Warriors, 100 Alien Runners, 10 Praetorian Aliens

[Guest TehFoofles]

Those 70 recruits might as well be wearing red uniforms. As for the rest, I think a hive of 250 alone could take care of them eventually.

[Boratz]

It's Great................ I think G.I. Joe could win if they play it smart. If they use their skills and tactics to the fullest.

[Guest LoneWolf]

I'd call this an outstanding set-up. The GI Joes will have a few minor advantages when coompared to other human armies the Aliens have beaten; like the Colonial Marines. They can just bomb the city for weeks before landing and maybe wear the creatures down. If they go in, unaware of what exactly they are facing (this is how it seems in the set-up), they will just add to the Aliens numbers.

 

Overall I go with the Aliens to win, due to them having beaten technologically superior human troops in the past.

[Guest victim36]

Thanks for posting LoneWolf and Boratz. Welcome to CBUB Foofles.

 

I had posted this fight serveral months ago as the start of an arc, but fell into a bit of a writing slump before I made it any further than this match. So I finally decided to break through my slump and restart this arc.

 

I think that the Joes have a fair shot at this. Or at least the heroes of the franchise do, seeing that they all have a wider variety of specialization and more experience that the space marines. Not saying that they'll win, just saying that I feel like they have a puncher's chance.

[DSkillz]

I had posted this fight serveral months ago as the start of an arc, …

 

Heh, I thought this one looked familiar. Then and now, great set-up, victim.

 

I could see the Joes taking a pretty good number of casualties here (but taking out quite a few Xenos with them) and being forced to retreat, so the Xenos would take this initial encounter. But as always, a core group of the main Joes would escape and formulate a plan to take the Aliens down in one of their next encounters.

[Guest victim36]

Heh, I thought this one looked familiar. Then and now, great set-up, victim.

 

I could see the Joes taking a pretty good number of casualties here (but taking out quite a few Xenos with them) and being forced to retreat, so the Xenos would take this initial encounter. But as always, a core group of the main Joes would escape and formulate a plan to take the Aliens down in one of their next encounters.

Thanks for commenting DSkillz!

 

I hate reposting a story, but it couldn't be avoided. If I started it from the end of the this portion now no one would have any context for what was going on, and that's just poor storytelling.

[Guest Lunacyde]

I think with the right strategy the Joes can take it. Thier heavy hitters are far more specialized and skilled than the Space Marines. Characters like Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow and Kamakura are fast enough to dodge bullets, a feat I've never seen a Marine come close to. Duke, Flint, and the rest of the crew are solid too. If they realize who their opponent is and fight them accordingly I see no reason they can't succeed. Remember technology isn't as important and the person wielding it.

[Guest the cape]

aliens have a good advantage and the joes dont but as well when all else fails they dont so id say joes can escape after a raid but a raid also needs a parting point so they would be picked off one by one unless the aliens are dum and go straight to war but that also means joes die because smaller numbers

[DamagingRob]

I had posted this fight serveral months ago as the start of an arc

I remember this one. Still a great set-up, and looking forward to you continuing it. I can see the Joes taking down quite a few Xenos, but in the end either losing or falling back into a retreat.

[Guest victim36]

Thank you for posting Rob, cape, and Lunacyde! I'm glad everyone is enjoying the match up, and I'm thrilled that no one seems to think that it is one-sided.

 

I plan on taking this arc in unique direction pretty quickly, so we'll see if it works or not.

[Buzz Line]

Go Aliens! I heard that Alien 3 and 4 were pretty bad but I never saw those, I only saw the good alien movies where the only thing to gripe about was Ripley. The only GI Joe movie I saw though was terrible and GI Joe stopped being special once other toy companies cracked the secret and started making there own spring loaded technology. Aliens remain relatively unique with their *insensitivity* face reproduction, even if they did copy a lot of their mythos from the Brood. But can it be called plagiarism when the Brood copied off of alien first? Marvel hasn't sued yet.

[Guest the cape]

it dosnt matter if a toy ends or not buzz it matters with the odds and i support this with 2 thumbs up

[Guest the cape]

you know i am so thrilled with this i dont know why but i mean huh...well you know im just thrilled

[Guest the cape]

the cape is a real hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[C.T.]

...No comment.

[Guest Lunacyde]

So after a slew of off-topic comments....

 

The Joes can take this. Xeno's aren't overly smart and as soon as the Joes figure them out and apply a strategy they should be able to clean house.