MistressOfWords

@IKA Ah, yes I do see that after a reread. The toxin has nothing to do with what is happening. My mistake, I'm not sure why I thought that as Batman only thinks it once and then dismisses it as the reason. And you're right slugger is the debut character not Alfred. However, Alfred still is the first half of the match up, not batman. It felt like you were writing a match up between slugger and batman. It still would have been good for Alfred to have some screen time as one half of this match up, and possibly more interesting and different too (how many stories are there about batman vs the number about alfred); he could easily watch Batman devolve into madness and thus show the sluggers effect, dialogue could be used to show some of the thoughts batman is having that you wanted highlighted. Another option would be to just add more scenes, letting batman have screen time to show sluggers power but then also show Alfred and have a nice contrast between the slowly going insane batman and the calm and rational alfred who im sure would be actively trying to figure out what's going on and how to fix it. As for speeding up the end purposefully, I think I see what you mean, maybe. You can definitely show escalation in thoughts and behavior and still write and describe well, though that can be a skill really difficult for a lot of people too accomplish. Its something that would be really difficult to describe here and make my comment way too long lol. It's all like in the way that you describe, where you choose to shift the scene, how fast you shift it. Its hard to explain.

Hello. Not bad. Writing is decent but does have a few typos and grammatical errors. I like that there is more descriptions and dialogue between the characters, some write ups don't have that much so its good. More descriptions would be better though, as the description present is cursory and lacking in depth in places. The reason/cause of the battle makes sense and is logical. One of the characters in the actual match up, Ty lee, is given a lot of screen time and focus. However, it is a debut character challenge and Tremor is the debut character-as well as the other half of the match up. All he does is say two lines and get in Ty lee's way. Kano and Azula have more presence than him. I feel like he should have had much more presence and screen time. Lastly, I can assume Tremor is meant to be like an earth bender and I know what Ty lee can do as I watched the show, but if you don't know the characters there's nothing here to give me a starting point for who might win. Overall it's decent but a little flat. It just needs a nudge to have more depth, and another nudge for the debut character and second half of the match to actually be in it more.

Hello. So It has a good length and lots of dialogue. A lot of people (myself included) have a problem with dialogue, but yours is good, realistic; there might be too much of it, but the dialogue itself is solid. Writing is good too, I didn't notice much grammar problems. I know of these characters and I think I used to watch a newer version of the Jackie chan show, but based on the write up their reason for fighting seems logical and believable. I like that, even if I didn't know anything about the characters, you provided enough details that I know who they are, what group they fight, why they want the sword, and even showed them all fighting to give me an idea of their capabilities. However, I'm sorry but there's way too many characters. The turtles are four alone, and then Jackie has what feels like ten people on his side. I think there was initially four, then two more show up, and then the lady at the end, which would equal seven, so not ten but it felt like it. I felt flooded with characters, flooded with too much dialogue from too many people. It was very difficult to keep track of who was who. Some of them didn't even get a description, like Tohru--all I got there was a name and a line of dialogue, I think. I didn't feel close to any of the characters, I didn't have a deep understanding of any of the characters, and some of them I didn't even know what they looked like. I feel like in a debut character match, that is important. Also, I say this a lot but more description. If you want to immerse the reader you need more details. Sounds, smells, sensations. Get closer to the characters, closer to the scene, focus on one or two characters in particular, and readers will be more invested and be able to feel/see what's happening better. Omniscent view is hard to write in because its hard to step back like that but also have the reader invested and know your characters, I don't like it or use it, and I always suggest people not use it either. It's a bit long but I wanted to give you a more in depth and detailed review as requested :). Hope you like it and it's helpful.

Yo. Batman's always a good choice. His opponent is unique and different, and really meshes well with the batman universe with the scarecrow's toxin and that. It could be a more tricky Batman episode. So yeah, Its a good set up. Everything makes sense for the characters. I like how you spent time in Bruce's head, I always feel closer to characters when the author spends time in their head/thoughts. A lot of the other entries don't do that well, which is a shame because like its a debut character challenge let me feel close to the character. However, you have some grammar mistakes (ex. quotation mistakes in first paragraph). It was very comma heavy, which is okay but some of your commas were very clearly supposed to be new sentences instead (look to the That Night paragraph). Also, and this is just a tidbit of advice but still concerning that paragraph, if all of your sentences are the same size/format, it is not interesting to the reader, you should vary your sentence lengths. Its hard to describe, but it also feels like... things are going too fast? It is much better in the first half of the write up, but worse once you hit the That Night paragraph. I think its a mix of telling instead of showing and not enough descriptions. Look to the Batman showing up to the scene of the murder part, for example. You say what's happening, but it runs quick because you arn't giving enough details to sink into the scene. What does the blood look like, is it shining from the moon, is it splashed all over the alley? Is there a smell? Is there a sound when Batman lands on the ground? Is the dead body in the dumpster giving off a smell? Does the gun make a sound when it goes off? You say the officers are angry and blame Batman; what do their faces look like, what are they saying? You are giving more descriptions than some people, but you need even more descriptions, including our senses other than just visual, to slow down the scene make it feel more real. Make sure you keep the character thoughts and feelings too, increase them even, that will also help it feel more real. Lastly, this is a debut character challenge and it focuses on Batman. Alfred feels like a sidenote. It would have been better (and even more interesting) to be in Alfred's head instead, to hear his thoughts instead as he watched Bruce slowly devolve into madness. I do feel like Alfred would win--this is all a result of the Scrarecrow's toxin; Alfred is smart enough to figure that out, cure Batman, and then fix the city with Batman's help.

Hello. I liked the set up a lot. It's very interesting, makes a lot of sense, is very in line with the characters. Writing is decent, grammar is good. However, I feel like the scenes after it fell flat. As this is a debut character challenge, it should have focused on the characters fighting, but the write up itself focused more on the corporation characters and T'Challa instead of Okoye and Black Noir. Their scenes were shorter, not as interesting, and I didn't get a good sense of them as characters, we didn't spend any time in either of their heads/thoughts. Lastly, there wasn't a lot of description so it was difficult to visualize the throne room, the jungle, what things look like; I know you added clips, too, but it would have been a nice touch for to show them fighting to give the reader an idea of their skills as the clips make it easier but they arn't part of the write up and that's a lot of homework to try and figure who might win.

@DSkillz I wasn't on the old site so hopefully that's not a bad thing lol. I'm friends with IKA and he's been asking me to join the writers challenge for awhile; I'm finally settled in at my new job so I figured I'd give it a shot. I write, not published yet but working on it, so I know good writing and what it takes to produce it; that's why I'm able to give comments like that. This is a really fun thing, so I don't want to just dump on anyone I like to nudge them in the right direction instead, keep everything fun and help people improve. I see you made a post so I'll make sure to read and rate

Hello. So I like that you focused on the actual characters in your match; I was able to get a sense of their personalities, their abilities, and a very clear, logical, sensible reason for why they are fighting. I like that you're having jack Frost fight Jack Frost, its fun. Great voice on the demon. Good entry overall. However, I feel like I was plopped in the middle of their argument in the beginning. Where are they at, did demon jack frost just appear magically in a cloud of snow sparkles? Also, sure they're battling, but the goal is to freeze each other solid; I'm not sure if that's a good end goal, because the demon says if snowman wins hell let him have the name and leave him be, he doesn't seem to be in a fight to the death to me. Snowman does though. But if they're creatures of snow and ice im sure they can be killed but i don't know if its possible to freeze them solid It doesn't seem like that would be the way to kill them.

Hello. So there are a good amount of grammatical errors throughout which make it more choppy/jarring to read. It also reads kinda flat because there isn't a lot of description and you do a lot of telling rather than showing. A perfect example is the whole "Lennox attempted to test his sidearm..." paragraph. Fix the grammar, add description so the reader can picture what's happening, and show instead of tell--then you'll have a much improved piece of writing. The last thing is that some of it left me with questions. Why didn't laserbeak already kill the hacker? Why did it wait for on the table for opponents to arrive instead? Why didn't the Laserbeak's cannons destroy/damage the house our heros were trying to escape since presumably it missed them? How did Lennox have time to go to his car and leisurely collect better supplies and call for help since laserbeak is an expert flyer and im sure was much faster than the other guy getting the hacker to the car? Overall a good entry. If I remember correctly they are both debut characters though which is good, and their reason for fighting, though simple, definitely makes sense and is plausible. The opening segment is interesting and well written, you did really good there. I'm sure Lennox has the ability to drive off the Decepticon ultimately as he has the military behind him and I assume he helped defeat decepticons in the movie, but I don't see what's stopping Laserbeak from just, like, flying off and cannoning the car the hacker is riding in and killing him, to be honest.

Hello I can tell you're an experienced writer too. This is a great write up; the premise is really interesting and different, the writing is great, nicely tinged with horror. Also, queer character, nice. I didn't think the female horror characters were queer, but I suppose its all due to the mysterious magic of the dating app. The dating app did materialize them for Sam. However, this is a debut character challenge and the characters actually battling barely have any screen time. I haven't watched the movies/shows these characters are in and aside from the brief descriptions I don't know anything about them. I wish you would have focused on them more and expanded on their characters and abilities more, because they feel like side notes thrown in at the end. Also, this is a bit particular but Sam is telling a cop this story? There was a handful of like jarring spots because some of the things she said are just not things someone would actually say out loud. Think them, definitely. Say them out loud? Nah. Though that's the only negative thing I can say about the writing quality which isn't major its still very good. This is a great write up I enjoyed it a lot, but I don't think it's a good fit for this particular challenge.

Hello Good job on your entry. It's decent writing; decent length, description, characters. The opening is good I can really visualize what's going on. College kids messing around on a beach, getting drunk and messing with spirits. It's a set up that's been done before--because it works, its classic, its' good. The characters are stereotypical college kids, though, and kinda blend together without a focus on any in particular-- I don't really care if the spirits kill them. Which isn't necessarily bad, as this was a debut character writing challenge, and per rule 4 it's the debut character that matters most, it a debut character writing challenge. However, the focus was on the college kids, not the spirits battling; they were only even in the last quarter of the write up for a short time. You did display them killing a person each, but you didn't really sink into the horror of it and it was short, which feels like a missed opportunity to flesh out the spirts more and give them more screen time and make the write up itself more interesting/compelling. More description and a more horror feel would have really upgraded your write up. Also I don't know anything about La lorona, I don't know why she showed up, I don't know what the abilities of both creatures are or the legends well. Maybe if I did or it was expanded upon in the write up their reason for fighting would have made more sense? I didn't really get it. Seeing as I don't know much about the characters, I'd have to do a lot of outside research to decide who would win, so I didn't vote for either.

Hello Good job on the debut part of the challenge. Hulk and the Agents of SMASH took up most of the screen time, and they all got a nice chunk of dialogue. There is also a clear, sensical reason for these characters to be fighting. I think the spirit of the match was supposed to be one on one and this is one on five, but besides that you followed the rules of the match very well. However, quality of the writing is a factor too. What is missing here is description and depth, very fixable with more practice. What does the base and yard look like? What do the characters look like? I want to be able to visualize what is going on. Tell me more details about the characters. You want me to be interested in them and care about what happens to them. Right now, I don't know anything about them, they arn't compelling or interesting, I don't care about them. What are their abilities? From this write up, I have no idea who would win because I know nothing about them. I don't know anything about any of these characters besides hulk, so like IKA I didn't vote either way either.

This is my submission to the writers challenge

Corvo Attano (Dishonored) vs The Creeper (Jeepers Creepers) A single vessel cut through the water, the ripples of it’s passing the only sound in the still, quiet night. It was old, made of wood that was dark and twisted with age, held together by rusted metal and crumbling, reddened bolts. There was a small, covered cargo area at the stern; odd, stained bundles crowded the space, barely glimpsed from the docks. Nets and barrels piled on the deck, weapons glittered sharp and wet with blood—harpoons and hooks and chains, all the marks of a fisherman up early to pile his trade. The vessel glided through the water, past other boats upon which the moonlight reflected dully against their sleek, metal hulls. It glided past docks bristling with other ships, fisherman with gear stowed and traders with boxes of items lashed and locked. It glided past waters stained red with the life blood of great beasts, slain for their meat and blood and bone; slipping past the carcasses of the whales, lashed to the docks with crows pecking their eyes and chunks of meat carved from their great flesh. The backs of shops were visible further up the docks, the brick scrubbed clean, shutters open to the night air. The boat slipped past those well-lit, clean streets, delving deeper, towards the damp and dark and poor. It glided across water smooth like a mirror towards crumbling wood and dirty brick, towards dank streets where children fought rats for bread stained green and black. There it parked, there it waited, so still it might have been sleeping. But no. The driver of the boat stirred then, a tall, thick man in heavy boots and heavy coat, his face hidden by his wide brimmed hat, by his upturned collar, by the heavy weight of the dark. No, he’d been sleeping for twenty-three years, but no more. The man stared at the dock, stared at the rats that scurried past and the dogs that growled at him with ears laid back. He was so, so hungry. It gnawed at him, stomach aching and convulsing as if it could consume itself, aching like muscles stiff with disuse and old bones unused to bearing such weight. But dogs and rats wouldn’t do, oh no. He wanted people, wanted to tear their flesh from their bones, wanted to dig out organs hot and juicy—he wanted to drop it all right down his gullet and feel young again as their parts became his. He was an ancient, timeless thing. He’d been here before humans existed, and he would be here long after they were gone from this earth. The people who’d chased him away from his last den thought they’d won, and maybe they did. But he escaped, he endured, he ate. It’d been centuries since he’d enjoyed a new hunting ground. He glided his boat further, parked it in an abandoned, hidden spot. He would have to find a new lair soon, a new spot for his tools and toys and trophies. Next, he got out and walked. Oh, how he would scare them and take in their scent, ripe with fear. Not any human would do. Once he was sated enough to be picky, he could find the most delicious prey, the ones that would smell and taste just right. It was what he lived for, glutting himself on the most delicious of human flesh in his final days. The feeling of strength and youth, before his world went black. He only had twenty-three days before he had to go back to sleep, but until then…all he wanted to do was eat. ~ O ~ Corvo Attano, Royal Protector, leaned against the wall high in Dunwall Tower, frowning at the city watch officers as they told Empress Emily Kaldwin of the gruesome murders plaguing the old Flooded District. He was tall and lean, strength apparent in his muscled, folded arms. He had a hard, weathered face with deep set dark eyes and a strong nose, dark stubble marring his cheeks. His hair was dark, collar length. He was imposing, a quiet, hard-faced man dressed in all black and dark grey with a sword strapped to his waist and a watchful readiness that seemed to say he knew how to use it. His hand twitched as he listened; there was an odd, dark mark on the back of it, almost burned into his flesh. “—dozen people have went missing—” “—stories of a monster walking the streets, like the weepers but worse—” “—found people half eaten, but the teeth marks are too big for rats—” “—the plague is back—" “That’s enough”, Emily said, raising a hand upon which flashed her signet ring. The Empress was young, nervous, struggling to fill her mother’s shoes—but none of that showed on her face. “Tell me again, Captain. What did you see?” The Watch Captain stepped forward, gave a brisk nod. But his hand shook before he clenched it into a fist. He was afraid. What would scare a man who’d lived through the worst the Rat Plague had to offer? Corvo frowned harder, marked hand twitching. “I know it sounds crazy, but my men have seen it”, the Captain said. “A creature that looks dead, but moves faster and stronger than any man. It’s no weeper, neither. It thinks, reasons. We cornered it in an alley last night, fired a dozen rounds into its chest. It ripped Jameson’s heart out of his chest and ate it, then grabbed Bolten and flew off. We found him later…with his fucking…lungs and liver missing.” Emily blinked, seemingly speechless. “I don’t—” She closed her eyes, took a breath. “This is no plague. Keep your men away from it for now; we don’t need any more dead. Evacuate the district, then wait for my order. We will hunt this thing and kill it, Captain.” The Captain nodded, then turned and led his officers out of the room. Emily turned to Corvo, looking very much like his scared, teenage daughter instead of the competent, confident Empress of a few moments ago. “Father, I don’t…what is that thing?” Corvo shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe Sokolov could find out, if he had time to study it. It’s not important.” No, what was important was that it died. Now. Tonight. “How did it get here? Do you think someone sent it, to destabilize me and take the crown? Tivia or Serkonos or one of the damn Nobles? None of them think I can be Empress, not like…not like mom was.” Emily’s face was pale, and she was looking at him like she used to do when she was a kid—like he could do anything, fix anything. He stepped forward, wrapped his arms around her in a hug. “You’re still learning, Emily. If… if Jessamine was here, she’d tell you she’s proud of how you turned this city around after the plague.” He stepped back, looked her in the eyes. “Listen, Emily. I need you to stay off of the rooftops tonight. Do not leave the tower under any circumstances. Do you understand?” “Are you—you’re not going after it alone, are you?” Corvo nodded. “I’ll find it and kill it. I need you to stay here, where it’s safe.” The mark on his hand, the mark of the Outsider, burned. It was only a few years ago that the Rat Plauge haunted their streets, when rats swarmed and those close to death wandered the streets, attacking and sickening those unlucky enough to encounter them. It was only a few years ago that he was bodyguard and lover both to his dearest, beloved Jessamine; that the assassin Daud murdered her in cold blood, and Corvo framed for her death. It was only a few years since the Outsider emerged from the misty, unfathomably ancient Void with his pitch-black eyes and unearthly voice and gave him a choice. Take his mark, take his powers. Use them to rescue his daughter and return her to power…use them to get revenge on the people in power who’d betrayed and dishonored him just to take the throne, use them to get revenge on the people who’d taken Jessamine away from him. He’d done just that. He’d held this country in the palm of his hand, choosing who lived and who died, choosing the future that would form…if he’d given in to his hate, his anger, Dunwall would be nothing more than a mass grave of corpses rotting under the scorching sun, crows pecking out their unseeing, dead eyes. He hadn’t. He didn’t want his daughter to rule a mountain of dead. No, Corvo saved Pierro and Sokolov, two great minds who worked together to cure the plague. He killed or did away with the corrupt people who’d betrayed him to take power, the ones rotting the city from within, the ones who released the plague. He restored balance, restored Emily to the throne, saved the city. Even now, he protected his daughter from assassins, protected this city by helping her rebuild it and give aid to the sick and poor and hungry. He was Dunwalls’ protector, its dark angel, its avenging, unearthly guardian of death. He knew what it was to stalk a man unseen from the rooftops, to kill him, watch his lifeblood spill onto his boots. He’d enjoyed killing Jessamine’s murderer, enjoyed watching the life fade from Daud’s eyes as he chocked around the blade lodged in his throat. It seemed it was time to kill again. To don his mask once more, a relic from the times of the Rat Plauge. Corvo wouldn’t allow a monster to roam the streets, killing and eating his people. If it wasn’t stopped…who knew how many it would eat? Would Dunwall become dead and sick once more? His daughter the Empress of waste and ruin? Just like the Rat Plauge, just like when Jessamine was taken from him… Would it find Emily and rip out her beating heart to shove down its throat? Corvo shuddered. No. That’s why he would kill this thing now, tonight, before that became even the most remote of possibilities. He’d killed to protect his daughter before, and he would do so again, as many times as it took. ~ O ~ Corvo wore a metal mask and a long, dark coat as he slipped out of his bedroom window that night to run along the rooftops of Dunwall. His muscles bunched and warmed, steps near silent as he ran faster, leapt and climbed farther, faster than any mortal man. Once, he’d traded the carved bones of the great, ocean-dwelling beats back to the Outsider for greater gifts, greater powers. Years passed…but his gifts remained, just like the mark burned into his hand. Night passed as he ran and leapt across tall, tiled rooftops. It was dark, the moon and stars hidden behind a deep cloud cover. He could have taken a boat, but he liked being up high—greater visibility of the area, of the target, and easier to stay hidden. The old Flooded District was not so very far, not by rooftop. Besides, this…creature could fly. So too would he, as close to flight as any man could reach. He could tell he was close by the smell. Stagnant water, rotting wood and flesh, soot and smoke. The Flooded District was decimated during the Rat Plague—repair couldn’t begin until the country was stabilized, and were still underway. People liked to hide in the forgotten corners. Soon he was closer still, and could see from his rooftop perch. Broken, boarded windows, debris and trash and dead on the street—it hadn’t been this bad last time he was here in this area, but the creature was here for many days, killing and inciting panic. It reminded him of the Rat Plague. The smells, the sights. Made him remember rats swarming people and eating them as they screamed, weepers hacking and stumbling at him with bloodshot eyes and grasping, tearing hands…the smell of stagnant water and rotting flesh as he crawled and snuck his way out of the Flooded District after he was left there for dead following his second betrayal…of killing Daud, his blood hot on Corvo’s skin as it bubbled and spat out of his gasping mouth. Corvo frowned, shaking his head. He needed to focus. There. A fire a few blocks over; everything was too wet to burn…before. The Outsider’s mark burned as Corvo ‘blinked’, teleporting himself across the road in an instant, feet landing on the bulbous head of a lamppost. He blinked onto the roof, crossing the next street in a similar fashion until he found the source of the fire. An apartment building was burned down, the big wooden beams and some brick left, embers flashing red and black in drifts. That was when he heard the screams. His feet pounded against the roof as he ran toward the sound. He leapt into the street, mark burning as he blinked in midair, feet landing with a thud on the roof across the street. A pistol fired, something screeched as someone swore. Crouching low, Corvo made his way quickly and silently across the rooftops towards the sounds. There. A tall, thick man walked down the middle of the road in a wide brimmed hat and long coat, wispy white hair peeking out from the collar. No, not a man. The creature. A Watch officer stood in the mouth of a nearby alley, uniform torn and bloody. A haggard faced man in disheveled, working man’s clothes stood just behind her, two young children clutched in his arms. Another child lay still and unmoving near the apartment building entrance close to the alley, a shredded stump left for an arm and a bleeding hole in his stomach. As Corvo watched from his rooftop perch by the mouth of the alley, the Watch Officer raised her pistol, shot. The creature jerked, keening, but kept walking towards them, except quicker, faster. The Watch Officer fumbled to reload, the children behind her crying as the man tried to drag them down the alley. Quick, Corvo slid down the roof to an open baloney just below him. The creature was coming, fast, faster. He disregarded the pistol on his hip loaded with explosive bullets, choosing the crossbow instead. He fired a bolt, quick. It punctured the creature’s chest, sticking out of its coat. It stopping, whipping its head up to stare at Corvo from a green, lined, ridged face, sharp teeth bared in a snarl. The Outsider’s mark burned as Corvo cast devouring swarm. Heaps of rats piled out of a wispy, unfathomably black, void-like hole in the ground at the creature’s feet. The rats leapt upon it, running up its legs, crawling up its coat, tearing chunks out of its green, flaky, dead looking skin. The creature grabbed rat after rat, tossing them to the ground and smashing them under its boots, but there were more, always more. During the Rat Plague, Corvo watched them devour men, screaming, until there was nothing left but bones in less than a minute. But a minute was too long. Wings burst from the creatures back as it keened. It flew into the air, rats hanging from its clothes only to fall to the street. The creature grabbed the rest, tearing their teeth out of its skin and cracking their bodies against the brick buildings. It flew towards Corvo, teeth bared. The pistol bucked in his hand as it fired. Quick, Corvo climbed the tall railing and then up onto the roof. The creature crashed through the louver doors just below him. The outsider’s mark flashed and burned as Corvo cast dark vision. He could see the creature through the roof in shades of yellow, just like the rats that scurried out of its way. The creature stood, fixing its coat with a jerk, then strode towards the balcony once more. As soon it appeared, Corvo struck. Silently, he slid off the roof, colliding with the creature and bearing him onto the stone. He grabbed its hair, jerked its head back, and plunged his sword into that sweet spot where neck met shoulder. The creature keened, wings buffeting him and body bucking so hard Corvo fell off of it, sword still clutched in his hand. The creature turned on him, grabbed his arm with a grip that hurt his bones, sharp teeth lunging for his flesh. Quick, quick, the mark burned—and the world went still, drenched in tones of grey. Corvo had cast bend time. His blade flew, severing the creature’s arm at the elbow. Panting, Corvo forced himself up. He leapt off of the balcony, blinking onto a lamppost and then onto the roof across the street. How long had it been since this fear, this adrenaline, sang through his veins? Disgusted, he tore the creature’s grasping arm off of him, tossed it down into the street even as color blossomed and time spun once more. Across the street, the creature grabbed the stump of its arm, head whipping around as it looked for him. Then, it stilled, head cocked like a dog. Corvo used the telescopic lens in his mask to look closer. He saw the creature’s nostrils flare, eyes closed. Then it smiled, and Corvo felt a chill run down his back. Suddenly, he felt like prey, like he would be the one hunted, not it. His rats had destroyed the creature’s boots. It kicked them off, then…crawled its way up the side of the building, pulling itself on top of the roof. Wings spread, fanned. It flew down to the apartment building, to the corpse of the child lying so still upon the street. The rest of the people were gone, fled. The creature ripped another arm off, and then ate it, sharp teeth tearing off the flesh in shreds. When it was finished, it stood. Corvo’s gaze narrowed as he realized its stump was…moving. Was it…regrowing its arm? The creature walked to the middle of the street, drawing some sharp instrument, carved from bone, out of its pocket. It laid its head back, nostrils flaring. Was it trying to smell him? Then it walked down the street, spinning its bone blade, whistling a tune that was old when Corvo’s mother sung it to him as a child. Crouched low, Corvo crept down the roof after it. He thought of the equipment on his person—pistol, crossbow, and sword; sleep darts, incendiary bolts, and explosive bullets; springrazors, grenades, and sticky bombs—the enhancements he’d traded for and the powers he’d bought with carved, thrumming runes of bone—blink, dark vision, devouring swarm, bend time, windblast. He’d need all of it, and every bit of his wits, to hunt this horrid, timeless thing that rotted his streets with every step. If he could actually manage to kill it, it’s body would turn into ash, drifting away on the wind. Shadow kill. One of the outsider’s craftiest, more unnatural boons. He’d killed would be Kings and master assassins, immortal witches and High Overseers, rich Nobles and weepers and rats. But this thing, this creature, would be his most challenging target, his deadliest mark. How many times would he have to kill it for it to actually die? Corvo crept after it, his mind turning even as the mark on his hand burned. ~ O ~ The creature whistled as it walked down the road. It’d fed and glutted, renewed it bones and muscles and skin over the last few days. It should have fled to regroup, to hunt and glut on panic and terror. But the smell…it liked it, that one whisp of fear he’d caught on the balcony from the man with the metal mask just before he’d disappeared, taking its arm with him. The human smelled like dark, ancient magics, like timeless, unearthly things. What would it gain if it ate it? What powers would it absorb if it stripped the man’s flesh off of his bones and shoved it hot and steaming down his throat? Besides, that smell…it was too delicious to ignore. So it walked down the street, swinging its bone dagger, whistling, waiting for the masked man to strike.

C) Tell him to run, and remember that his life is a gift you returned to him. You can interrogate pinned to the tree dude instead

A) Fire back with your bow

A) Fuck him up bro.

B

A). Let's wait and watch what this person does first before we approach

B.

My favorite load out is usually a Female Elf Archer or Ranger. For the name, let's go with Sariyu

A) follow quietly. She can obviously demolish me, and I'm too freaked out to do anything else

B) No choice but to do as she demands

B

B. Flee

D. A walk would clear my head, maybe help me remember something and get a better idea of whats going on here