broadwaybeyonder

THE BOTTOM LINE The other Rawhides watched as Jinx and Lotus circled the padded floor in fighting stances. Lotus’ eyes were fixed on Jinx, taking in her every step. Suddenly, Jinx gave out a yell and charged forward with a strike. Lotus leaned backwards to dodge but failed to avoid Jinx sweeping her legs out from under her in the same movement. “We got ourselves a fight here, folks!” Big Lob whispered excitedly. “A brawl between the belles of battlin’! The numero unos of ninjitsu! The…” “Ah shut it, Lob!” hissed Tunnel Rat. “You want to throw off Jinx’s concentration?” “Yeah, Lob, keep it down,” said Falcon. Big Lob gave a knowing smirk. “Aw, didn’t know you cared, lover boy.” Falcon blustered and turned away. “Just shut up.” Jinx pressed her advantage. Despite her eyes being covered, she was able to detect the footfalls and breathing of Lotus. She threw strike after strike and forced the ninja closer and closer to the padded wall. Jinx threw one more jab, but Lotus was ready for her this time. She caught Jinx by the wrist and held on. She then sprang off the padded wall over Jinx’s head, yanking on the arm with all her strength. Jinx cried out in pain as her momentum slammed her into the mat. Lotus dropped onto the mat next to Jinx and locked in an armbar. She pulled back harder on the arm until Jinx rolled through it. Jinx scrambled across the mat and struggled to regain her bearings as Lotus kipped up to her feet. “You have fought well, Jinx,” said Lotus. “There would be no dishonor if you were to surrender.” Jinx crawled toward the edge the mat until her fingers made contact with Lotus’ discarded sheathe. Gripping a hold on the katana’s handle, she grinned dangerously. “First thing you need to learn about G.I. Joe: we never surrender!” Jinx pulled out the katana and swung it at Lotus. Lotus flipped backwards to avoid the blade as Jinx held it at the ready. “Jinx!” barked Beach Head. “What are you doing?! This is a sparring session, not a Bruce Lee movie! Stand down!” “Forgive me, Sensei Beach Head,” said Lotus, reaching into her gi. “But I accepted this challenge. And I will be the one who determines it’s end!’ Pulling out a handful of throwing stars, Lotus hurled them at Jinx. Jinx could her the familiar whistle as the deadly projectiles spun towards her. She raised the katana to block three of the stars then dropped down to avoid the rest. She rose back up to her feet, her every sense straining to detect where Lotus was. She slowly stepped around the mat with her acquired weapon at the ready. Falcon opened his mouth to speak, but remained silent from a glare from Beach Head. Jinx could hear no breathing or footfalls anywhere around her. But something else didn’t sound right. The fans were still turned on in the gym, cycling air throughout the room. But the sound had changed. Almost as if something was in the way of the breeze. Something above her… Before Jinx could realize what had happened, Lotus dropped out of the rafters in the ceiling. While Jinx had been distracted by the throwing stars, Lotus had leaped into the rafters overlooking the mat. Now she came crashing on top of her staggered opponent. Lotus delivered a quick jab to Jinx injured arm, forcing her to let go of the katana. She snatched the sword from Jinx’s grip, then hip tossed Jinx to the mat. Jinx could only raise her arms defensively as Lotus gave a warlike yell and swung the katana at her head. “LOTUS BLOSSOM! STAND DOWN!” At Beach Head’s order the katana blade stopped inches from Jinx’s nose. The Rawhides stood in silent appreciation as Jinx groaned and ripped her blindfold off her eyes. “Okay, you are pretty good.” Lotus lowered the katana and offered her hand to Jinx. “You are as well, Jinx. It is clear that the ways of the blind ninja masters are in worthy hands.” Lotus gave a bow of respect. Jinx looked annoyed for a second, then sighed and returned the bow. “Perhaps you could teach me this fighting style,” continued Lotus. “I would enjoy the opportunity to learn such an intriguing form of ninjitsu.” Jinx thought for a moment. “Weeeell, I don’t know.” She grinned and winked at Lotus. “Maybe if you want to go best 2 out of 3?” Lotus returned the smile. “It would be an honor.” “And it would be an honor to watch it, right, guys?” said Falcon to the Rawhides. “Yeah!” cheered Big Lob. “Let’s get this rematch started!” “Oh, they’ll be having a rematch,” interrupted Beach Head. “But you Rawhides will be getting back to work! You’ve had a nice rest watching the two ladies fight. Now you’re all ready for another workout! SO GET OUT THERE AND GIVE ME 20 LAPS AROUND THE COMPOUND! MOVE IT!” Jinx shook her head in amusement as Falcon and the rest of the Rawhides groaned and jogged out of the gym. “They are certainly… unusual, aren’t they?” asked Lotus. “Meh, you get used to them after awhile,” said Jinx. “They do remind me of another group of boys I met once. In New York, a long time ago. But that is a tale for another day. Shall we begin?” The two ninjas bowed to each other and went into fighting position. “And if I win, you can help me how to use that katana?” “And when I beat you again, you teach me how to fight blindfolded.” “Ooo, look at little Miss Overconfident!” “Confidence is necessary to all ninjas. Especially when it comes from already secured victory.” “You just got lucky! This time no going up in the ceiling!” “Are you going to make excuses or fight?” “Oh, you are going to fit right in here! Bring it on!” “HYAH!” “HYAH!”

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THE BOTTOM LINE “Nautilus has evaded our torpedo! Maneuvering rapidly!” Ramius clutched the arm of his chair. The Nautilus was half the size of Red October, and it was easily able to avoid their torpedoes. “Plot a new firing solution and compute!” “It’s moving too fast, Captain! We can’t get a lock on it!” “High speed screw! Torpedo in the water!” “Counter measures! Full spread!” ordered Ramius. “Aye, sir!” “Helm, bring us about to course 2-4-5!” In the ocean the Nautilus torpedo reached the countermeasures released from Red October. The torpedo veered off as the countermeasures interfered with it’s sonar. “Torpedo has lost contact, Captain!” “Right full rudder! Do we have a lock on the Nautilus?” “Captain! It’s coming about! It’s headed straight for us!” Putin looked at Borodin in shock. “He’s mad!” Borodin stared at Ramius, his face taut. “Sound for collision! All hands brace for…” Ramius’ orders were drowned out by the screams of twisting metal, mingled with the wails of his crew. The sea swept into the gaping hole the Nautilus left in it’s wake. Ramius closed his eyes in anticipation of his certain death as alarms blared and his officers yelled orders. Then a torrent a water swept into the bridge, knocking Ramius out of his chair to grated floor. When Ramius opened his eyes he saw Borodin and Red October’s doctor Petrov kneeling over him. He blinked and coughed as Petrov helped him into a seated position. “Easy, Captain. Easy. You are going to be alright.” Ramius looked to Borodin. “The ship?” “It’s gone, Captain. Red October is destroyed.” Ramius looked around the room they were in. It looked similar to the galley of his lost submarine. He could recognize his engineer Melekin and a few other members of crew huddled around tables. “Then where are we?” “We are on board the Nautilus, Captain,” said Borodin. “Some of us were able to get to the lifeboats and were brought aboard.” “How many?” “The dozen here, and possibly another dozen in the lower decks. We lost Yuri, Kamarov. We also lost Officer Putin.” Petrov gave a weak smile. “So the day is not a total loss.” Borodin gave a dirty look and helped Ramius to his feet. The door to the galley opened, and a man with a well-trimmed beard and wearing a uniform that Ramius had never seen before entered. He was flanked by two crewmen in similar uniforms. Ramius pulled his arm from Borodin’s hold and stood up straight. “Do I have the honor of addressing Captain Nemo?” “You do indeed, Captain Ramius,” Nemo replied. “I regret that our first meeting was as enemies. And that your ship was destroyed in our battle.” “And what is to become of my crew?” Ramius asked. “Are we your prisoners? To barter with Moscow?” Nemo raised an eyebrow. “I am not a kidnapper, Captain Ramius. I am a man of the sea, such as you are. Which is why I would like to make you an offer.” Borodin and Petrov gave a warning look to Ramius, but the captain went on. “And what would this offer be?” “I know of you, Captain Ramius. I know of your discontentment with your Russian masters. Perhaps you would like to join my fleet at my side?” Melekin walked over to the group as Borodin stepped alongside Ramius. “Forgive me, Captain, but as impressive as your ship is, it is not a fleet.” “But it can be the beginning of one, Captain Borodin. If you accept, you will find that I have the resources to build more ships to patrol the oceans. Ships that would be greatly assisted if they possessed the secrets of your Red October.” “What… what secrets?” stammered Petrov. “Come now, Doctor. My Nautilus is capable of many feats, but it is not able to render itself invisible from sonar. If whatever technology you have is able to accomplish this for a ship the size of yours…” “Captain!” Petrov interrupted. “You can’t tell him about the silent drive! You have a duty! To Russia! To…!” “Shut up!” snapped Ramius. He shared a glance with Melekin and Borodin. His engineer and first officer both nodded. Nemo might not be the Americans, but perhaps the caterpillar drive would be just as safe in his hands as theirs or the Russians. As Petrov stared in disbelief, Ramius offered his hand and Nemo shook it. “On behalf of the crew of the Red October, Captain Nemo, I accept. Let us sail into history!”

Battlesphere 2 Part 2 Currently in the Ring: Eliminated: Carmen Sandiego None Gooey Gus None Lola Bunny None Phantom Lady None *THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Al Rossi: Carmen Sandiego fights to her feet! She swings and misses a punch to Lola! Meanwhile, Gus is going ballistic trying to get Phantom Lady! Andel Sanap: The Golden Age heroine nimbly dodges the flailing Slime Monster. If she can just blind him long enough, she may be able to get him over the top rope and eliminate him! Al Rossi: Gus spats out some slime at the projector! Phantom Lady tosses it aside! She’ll need to wipe that stuff off if she wants to use her weapon again! If the slime touches human skin it’ll envelope it’ll envelope the victim and leave them helpless! Andel Sanap: Miss Bunny bends Miss Sandiego over the top rope, trying to force her over, but the thief if fighting back! Crowd: 4! 3! 2! 1! BZZZZZ P.A.: You are ridiculous! Utterly RIDICULOUS! Al Rossi: Well, she swore she’d be the winner of the Battlesphere this year, and here she is! Queen Bee Chloe Bourgeois is beaming in! Andel Sanap: And instantly runs over to Miss Bunny! She’s trying to eliminate her and Miss Sandiego! Al Rossi: Lola scrambles and grabs the rope to steady herself and both her and Carmen come back into the ring. And neither one looks thrilled to see Chloe. Andel Sanap: Miss Bourgeois isn’t backing down, but Miss Sandiego and Phantom Lady remember how opportunistic she can be. Queen Bee is in the middle of the ring, looking from Miss Bunny, to Miss Sandiego, to Phantom Lady, to… Gooey Gus: SLIME ANYONE?! Chloe Bourgeois: AHHHHHH! Andel Sanap: To Gus. Al Rossi: Chloe runs to the corner as the other combatants return to their struggle! Chloe might be better off biding her time here. Her Venom attack gives her a great advantage in this match type. Andel Sanap: And a potential target to eliminate to gain that power for oneself. Crowd: 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BZZZZZ P.A.: Send a maniac to catch one! Andel Sanap: And here’s one of our new entrants! Al Rossi: All the way from San Angeles in the year 2032, it’s the Demolition Man John Spartan! He beams in and takes in the scene, pistol drawn! Andel Sanap: He does seem slightly baffled by the sights of the Battlesphere. Al Rossi: Well to be fair, Andel, you don’t see a Toon rabbit and a living pile of grape bubblegum fighting a thief and a World War II super hero every day. Andel Sanap: But here comes Miss Bourgeois! She swings her top at Spartan and clocks him in the head! She leaps in for a kick and, BY THE FORCE! Al Rossi: Spartan caught Chloe by the leg and slams her down to the canvas! Even he seems shocked by that, Andel. This guy battles hardened criminals not kid super heroes! Andel Sanap: He takes Miss Bourgeois by the arm but she easily tosses forward into the turnbuckles! You can see the rage start to build in his eyes! He won’t be taken off guard again! Crowd: 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BZZZZZ P.A.: Whoever comes, whoever it is, I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all! Al Rossi: Oh yeah! Now we’re talking! The master assassin has entered the Battlesphere! Andel Sanap: And Spartan has spotted him! Wick aims his pistol and Spartan aims his! Al Rossi: Listen to this crowd! They want to see these two throw down right no…HEY! Andel Sanap: Miss Bourgeois’ top wraps around the two men! Wick fires off a few shots, forcing her to run for cover! Al Rossi: With Chloe loosing her grip the cord falls, and Spartan turns to deliver a punch to the face of Wick! OK: Currently in the Ring: Carmen Sandiego, Gooey Gus, Lola Bunny, Phantom Lady. (Fighting each other) Chloe Bourgeois, John Spartan, John Wick. (Fighting each other) All have their normal powers, skills, and equipment. The combatant who gets the most votes advances and gets the losers’ powers/abilities/equipment. If two combatants tie the low score, both are eliminated and the winner gets both of their powers. If two combatants tie the high score, they both split the losers powers/abilities/equipment. If there is a three-way tie, they all advance. Check out the other Rumbles to see how the rest of the match is going. Any questions feel free to ask them. Game On!

Battlesphere 2 Part 1 *THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Al Rossi: Hellooooooooo, fight fans! It is nearly time for the return of the TCC’s most unpredictable match type! Yes, it’s the second ever Battlesphere Battle Royal! Along with Jedi Master Andel Sanap… Andel Sanap: May the Force be with you. Al Rossi: I’m Al Rossi here to bring you all of the action! And with no chance of the 8 showing up to spoil the party, Andel, this is gonna be a real barnburner! Andel Sanap: Indeed, Al. We have already revealed 13 of the 30 participants in this contest. First, the 6 ladies making their return to the Battlesphere: Medusa, Carmen Sandiego, Ladybug, Chloe Bourgeois, Phantom Lady, and the current Battlesphere winner Miss America. The TCC has also revealed the names of 7 newcomers: Lola Bunny, Kintara, Xena, Kylo Ren, Speedy Gonzales, Cain, and John Wick! Al Rossi: Which means there’s 17 more people that neither you or I know about, partner! The crowd has packed the TCC Arena, and the giant transparent sphere is hovering before us with the wrestling ring inside. Let’s send it down to Justin Roberts for the ground rules! Justin Roberts: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Battlesphere 2! 30 combatants will enter the sphere and attempt to toss their opponents over the top rope. If a combatant is thrown out and both feet touch the sphere’s interior, they are eliminated and will be instantly teleported from the Battlesphere. Their powers, abilities, and weapons will be given to the combatant who eliminated them. The match will begin with 2 combatants and a new combatant will teleport in every 90 seconds until all 30 have entered. The last combatant standing, wins the match and earns the right to choose one of their powers to use in TCC competition for one calendar year! And now, let’s bring in the combatant that drew number 1! P.A.: DO IT, ROCKAPELLA! YEAH! Al Rossi: Whoa! It’s Carmen! Justin Roberts: From an undisclosed location, she puts the ‘miss’ in misdemeanor… CARMEEEEN SANDIEEEEEGOOOO! Andel Sanap: Miss Sandiego has teleported into the Battlesphere and acknowledges the cheers of the crowd. Al Rossi: But see the look on her face, Andel! She knows that she had to start the first battle royal at number 2, now she’s stuck at the start again at number 1! Andel Sanap: She is not looking particularly happy. But she earned her second chance by lasting nearly a full hour in the Battlesphere. If anyone can go the distance, it’s Miss Sandiego. Justin Roberts: And now the combatant that drew number 2! P.A.: SLIME ANYONE?! Andel Sanap: Oh dear. Al Rossi: You were saying something about ‘going the distance’? Justin Roberts: From parts unknown! He is Gooey Gus, THE SLIIIIIIIME MONSTEEEEEEER! Al Rossi: You don’t suppose Gus will go easy on her? I mean they both worked for PBS, didn’t they? Andel Sanap: I believe you are mocking me. Al Rossi: Well, if Carmen is going to win this, first she needs to get past 6 feet of slime! The crowd is buzzing with anticipation! The referee signals! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! 2! 1! Commence combat! Andel Sanap: Gus unleashes a torrent of purple goo at Miss Sandiego, but she quickly leaps out of the way! Al Rossi: And we are underway! The slime slams against the Battlesphere wall and sizzles as it is broken down by the reinforcing defensive screen. Andel Sanap: Miss Sandiego pulls out a grapple and fires it at Gus! It latches on his arm and the beast roars his pre-recorded catchphrases in rage! Al Rossi: He’s trying to break free but Carmen is holding on tight! She’s trying to pull Gus towards the ropes and… wait! Why is she climbing over the ropes?! Andel Sanap: She’s going to try to swing down and pull out Gus! There she goes! She leaps off the apron still holding the grapple! Al Rossi: But Gus isn’t budging! He’s grabbing the line and yanking Carmen back up! It was a risky play, Carmen would’ve had to grab onto the rigging under the ring to keep from eliminating herself! Andel Sanap: Gus tosses Carmen across the ring! She slides under the bottom rope and grabs a hold of it! She wouldn’t be eliminated because she went under, but the fall wouldn’t do her any favors! Crowd: 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BZZZZZ P.A.: Don’t call me… ‘doll’. Al Rossi: And history repeats itself again! Last time it was Minerva Mink entering at 3, today it’s Lola Bunny! Andel Sanap: She’s teleported right in front of Gus! The Slime Monster looks stunned at the sight of the Toon. Al Rossi: Funny, I thought he always looks like that. But get a load of Lola! See that look in her eyes? She takes hold of Gus and… what is she doing? Andel Sanap: I believe she is feeling the muscles in his arm. Al Rossi: What game is she playing? I mean, I know that these Toon girls have a way to get guys wrapped around their finger, but I don’t know if her ‘charms’ work on Slime Monsters. Andel Sanap: But here comes Miss Sandiego! She pulled herself back into the ring and blindsided Miss Bunny! She pulls her over to the rope! Al Rossi: Lola’s trying to kick loose but Carmen’s got her….HEY! Gus got Carmen! He pulls her off Lola and knocks her back! Andel Sanap: Miss Bunny’s strategy worked! She’s calling to Gus, urging him to eliminate Miss Sandiego! Crowd: 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BZZZZZ P.A.: Forward, Freedom Fighters! Andel Sanap: And another Battlesphere veteran enters the fray! Al Rossi: The Phantom Lady teleports by the turnbuckles and blasts Gus with her blacklight projecter! Lola charges in with kicks to the downed Carmen! Battlesphere 2 is well and truly underway! OK: Currently in the Ring: Carmen Sandiego, Gooey Gus, Lola Bunny, Phantom Lady. All have their normal powers, skills, and equipment. Whichever pair gets the most votes, advances and gets the losers powers/abilities/equipment. If there is a tie, all four will advance. Check out the other Rumbles to see how the rest of the match is going. Any questions feel free to ask them. Game On!

To see more of our combatants in action: G.I. Joe - One bad luck lady... - YouTube G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987) - All Pythona Scenes & Moments (1080p) - YouTube (Skip to 5:00 for clips of Jinx fighting Pythona) S03E28 - Beware the Lotus - video Dailymotion

In the gymnasium of the G.I. Joe base, the Rawhides were hard at work. Jinx swung on the parallel bars and Law jogged on a treadmill with his dog Order lying next to it on the floor. Chuckles grunted as he lifted weights and glanced over to the half court where Big Lob and Tunnel Rat were playing one on one. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Falcon sat on the couch with his feet on a coffee table and his eyes glued to the Jem and the Holograms music video playing on the television. Big Lob drove into the paint past Tunnel Rat and easily hit a layup. He punched the air and gave a triumphant cheer. “Yeah! With no time left on the clock, Big Lob beats the buzzer and wins it for the U.S. of A!” “You don’t have to rub it in, man,” smirked Tunnel Rat. “Could you guys keep it down?” said Falcon. “I’m trying to watch this.” Law switched off the treadmill and stepped off it, patting Order’s head. “You do know Beach Head gave us this time to work out, right, Falcon?” “Don’t be too hard on him, Law,” said Jinx, hanging upside down by her knees from the bar with a grin. “Right now he’s just giving his eyes a workout.” “Cute, Jinx,” said Falcon. “I think I’ve earned a break after all the times I’ve been carrying you guys.” Jinx flipped off the bar and landed by one of the weightlifting machines. She grabbed a pin from the stack of weights and hurled it at the television. The pin struck the power button on the tv, turning it off. Falcon shot Jinx a look. “Hey, if you’d rather I look at you, all you have to do is ask.” Jinx folded her arms and shook her head. “In your dreams, Falcon.” “A-TEEEEEN-TION! FALL IN!” The Rawhides scrambled into line and stood at attention as Beach Head stomped into the gym. Glaring through his balaclava, the G.I. Joe marched up and down the row of recruits. “Well, well. Look at you greenhorns. All of you staying in shape.” He looked Falcon up and down. “Lieutenant Falcon! Do you believe you have the skills to make it as a Joe?” “Yes, sir!” “And is one of those skills your ability to work out without breaking a sweat?” Falcon shrugged. “I don’t know, sir. Maybe it’s a genetics thing.” “QUIET!” Beach Head barked. Falcon went back to attention as Beach Head got in his face. “You want to be a clown, Falcon, join the circus! And that goes for all of you Rawhides! G.I. Joe only wants the best! So you better bring your best! Is that clear?” “Sir, yes sir!” the six shouted. “Good,” said Beach Head. “Then it’s about time to see if you Rawhides can keep up. Lotus! Fall in!” An attractive Japanese girl in a black gi strode into the gym. She had a katana in a sheath slung across her back. Jinx’s eyes narrowed as her male recruits’ eyes widened. “Hey! Get a load of that!” whispered Tunnel Rat. “Yeah! A 10 out of 10!” breathed Big Lob. “Friend of yours, Jinx?” asked Law. “Yeah,” Jinx snarked. “I met her at the last ninja convention.” “Well, if she looks as good as she fights,” said Falcon. “She might be better than…” Falcon’s voice faded with a withering glare from Jinx. “Don’t finish that thought unless you want me to turn your bunk bed into kindling.” “Listen up, Rawhides!” shouted Beach Head as the mystery girl stood at his side. “This is Lotus Blossom. She is a former ninja for hire who now has seen the light and wants to sign up with G.I. Joe. General Hawk wants me to see what she’s made of, and I want to see how your training is paying off. So who wants to be the first to step up and show Lotus how we do things in G.I. Joe?” Falcon raised his hand. “Sir! I wouldn’t mind going a few rounds!” “Oh brother!” groaned Jinx. “I met in sparring match, Jinx. Don’t know what your dirty mind is thinking.” “Real cute, Falcon,” snarled Beach Head. “But you’ll have to be more than cute if you want to spar with Lotus!” “If I may, Sensei Beach Head,” interrupted Lotus. “I would not mind sparring with Lieutenant Falcon. I’m sure he would be a… passable first opponent.” Falcon bristled as Big Lob and Tunnel Rat snickered. Beach Head grunted then nodded. “Very well, Lotus. Falcon will be your first partner. Just ditch that oversized pocketknife and let’s get a move on.” Lotus gave a confident look as she took off the sheathe and set it on the floor. “Yes, Sensei Beach Head. I wouldn’t want this to be too easy.” “I’ll show you easy,” Falcon muttered under his breath. The two stood on opposite ends of the matted area of the gym. Falcon raised his fists in a boxer’s stance and Lotus just stood in place. Beach Head raised his hand, then brought it down fast. “Begin!” Falcon charged forward, swinging a right hand, only for Lotus to expertly trap his wrist and judo throw him off the mats. The only thing to stop his momentum was the padded wall. “Ooo! That’ll leave a mark!” laughed Tunnel Rat. “Yeah!” chuckled Big Lob. “Down goes Falcon! Down goes Falcon!” “Cut the commentary, Lob!” snapped Beach Head. “Are you gonna stand there talking nonsense, or are you gonna give Lotus more of a fight than Falcon?” Big Lob glanced at the groaning Falcon then cracked his neck. “I hear you! Put me in, coach!” “Hey! I wanted a shot at her next!” whined Tunnel Rat. “It’s alright, gentlemen,” Lotus said coldly. “I am more than ready for both of you.” After a look of agreement between them, Big Lob and Tunnel Rat moved into position on either side of Lotus. “This lady is a little crazy!” said Law to Jinx. “2 on 1? Against guys she’s never seen before?” “She’s trained ninjitsu like me, Law,” Jinx said. “We’re trained to be ready for anything.” Big Lob swung a kick at Lotus, who jumped up to avoid it and an oncoming Tunnel Rat. Landing back first onto Tunnel Rat’s back, the ninja spun into a kick of her own that caught Big Lob. Sending the big man staggering backward, Lotus flipped off the bewildered Tunnel Rat then monkey flipped him into Big Lob. Law laughed nervously and looked at Chuckles. “Any chance you want her next?” Chuckles shrugged and walked back to the weights. Lotus bowed to each of the downed Rawhides, then to Beach Head. “I trust you find my work satisfactory, Sensei Beach Head? Since I have defeated all of my opponents?” “Not all, sweetheart!” Lotus turned to see Jinx marching onto the mat, unwrapping the red ribbon from her waist and tying it over her eyes. “You want on this squad, you’re going to have go through me!” “Ah, you have been trained by the blind masters. I have always wanted to test my skills against one with your talents.” Jinx raised her arms to defend herself. “Then take your best shot.” Beach Head shot a look at Law, who shrugged. Beach Head groaned and raised his hand. “Alright. Keep this clean and in the gym. Let’s get it on!” OK: Jinx and Lotus start with just hand to hand, then move on to using traditional ninja weaponry (katana, throwing stars, etc). Last ninja standing wins. Game On!

A DISPATCH FROM THE CHAIRMAN OF THE RED FLEET, NORTHERN POLITICAL DIRECTORATE TO MARKO RAMIUS, CAPTAIN, RED OCTOBER. Captain Ramius, The following information should be handled with the highest discretion. Three months ago, the battleship Yaroslav issued an SOS. The official story is that they suffered an engine malfunction and were destroyed. However, the details of the SOS reveal that the ship was under attack by an unknown submarine. It’s configuration matched no boat on file, and, despite it’s size, possessed torpedoes and a hull strong enough for it to collide with the Yaroslav without damaging itself. Since that event, multiple boats, including the Konovalov under the command of Captain Tupolev, have gone missing. Investigations by the KGB, the GRU, and the Directorate have proven inconclusive and we are still unable to confirm whether this is some new weapon developed by the Americans or one of the other NATO powers. Due to the seriousness of this threat, it has been decided that the silent drive tests will be postponed, and that Red October will be sent to find this submarine. Your orders are to capture it if possible, and to destroy it if necessary. I am certain that I am entrusting this mission to capable hands. Admiral Yuri Padorin, Chairman of the Red Fleet, Northern Political Directorate Ramius sat in his drawing room reading from a book as Political Officer Putin re-read their orders. Executive Officer Borodin pensively stood in the doorway. “Sonar is reporting no contacts, Captain,” said Borodin. “Tell them to hold this position,” replied Ramius. Putin folded up the orders and put them back in their envelope. “Captain, perhaps it would be more effective if we moved to the location of the most recent attack?” Ramius didn’t even look up from his book. “We shall remain here. There is no need for us to scramble blindly through the ocean. All of the most direct paths to the previous attacks intersect here. Our ‘ghost ship’ will more than likely pass this way again.” Putin bristled. “Begging the captain’s pardon, but perhaps it would be better for him to not treat this mission lightly? This ‘ghost ship’ has already cost hundreds of sailors their lives, including your pupil Captain Tupolev.” Ramius sighed and closed his book. “I am well aware of the seriousness of this mission, Lieutenant. And I shall carry out my orders in the manner I see fit. Dismissed.” Putin looked to speak, then thought better of it. He carefully stepped past Borodin, who closed the door behind him. He turned back to face Ramius as he poured a cup of tea. “I do not like this at all, Captain,” he said in hushed tones. “It cannot be a coincidence. A sudden change of orders to chase after some impossible submarine? What if Padorin got wind of our plan?” “Calm yourself, Vasili,” said Ramius. “You are beginning to sound like Yuri with your worrying.” “Only when there I believe there is cause to worry, Captain. If they knew of your plan to defect and hand Red October to the Americans, what better way to stop you than sending us on a secret mission where they could destroy this boat and eliminate us all?” Ramius took a sip of his tea before replying. “I believe the attacks are real. Wreckage and bodies from the missing boats had been recovered. With the caterpillar drive, we should be able to find this raider and then continue with our original plan.” “And if this ‘ghost ship’ finds and sinks us?” Ramius thought for a moment then smirked. “Then I suppose neither our comrades or the Americans will be getting the caterpillar drive.” The cabin phone rang and Ramius answered. “Yes?” “Captain! Sonar reports contact! 1900 meters to stern! Length approximately 100 meters! Bearing 3-1-0!” Ramius gave a nod to Borodin who moved for the door to the cabin. “Have helm come about. Match their course and increase speed to intercept.” Within an hour Red October had moved behind the enemy sub. Ramius sat in his chair in the center of the bridge as his crew huddled over their stations. “Prepare a firing solution. Sonar, range from target?” “400 meters, Captain. Still on course 3-1-0. The target doesn’t see us!” “Or he’s baiting us for an attack,” muttered Yuri. “Do you have something to report, Diving Control?” Borodin asked pointedly. Yuri turned back to his console. “No, sir.” “Firing solution plotted, Captain!” “Very well. Ballast Control,” said Ramius. “Close outer doors. Diving Command, disengage silent drive.” Putin stepped forward as Borodin repeated Ramius’ orders. “Captain, you have orders to destroy this ship. You will alert them of our presence!” “My orders are also to capture this ship if possible. Open torpedo doors and hold our position. Sonar, report on target?” “Target holding position at 450 meters.” Ramius turned to Borodin. “Vasili, one ping, please.” Borodin nodded and repeated the order. A single pulse of sound emanated from Red October to the enemy sub. The crew of Red October waited in silence before another ping came back at them from their target. “Well, we’ve said hello,” snarked Officer Slavin. “Now what?” “Diving control,” said Ramius. “Bring us up to periscope depth. Borodin?” Borodin moved over to the periscope viewer and looked through. The enemy sub slowly followed Red October to the surface and raised it’s periscope to look at it’s opponent. “Periscope at the ready, Captain,” said Borodin. “Prepared to signal target.” Ramius folded his hands and spoke his message as Borodin used the signal light on the persicope to send the message in Morse code. “Enemy submarine, hold your position or you will be fired upon. This is the Russian submarine Red October, Marko Ramius commanding. Identify yourself.” Borodin intently watched as the target used it’s periscope light to signal back. “An honor to meet you, Captain Ramius. Your reputation precedes you. This is the Nautilus, under the command of…” Borodin pulled his head back from the periscope and looked at Ramius in shock. “Captain Nemo!” “And crewed by a dozen mermaids and the Loch Ness monster,” snickered Slavin. He was silenced by a glare from Ramius who nodded to Borodin to return to the periscope. “The honor is mine, Captain,” Ramius went on as Borodin signaled. “However, a ship matching your description has been reported sinking Russian vessels. You will change course and accompany us to Polyarny for questioning.” A few seconds later Borodin received the reply. “I am responsible for your government’s missing ships, Captain, but I cannot allow the Nautilus to fall into enemy hands. Your country’s struggle with the Americans threatens the peace of my oceans. The Nautilus is all that stands between the world and the destruction your cold war will bring.” “He is insane!” breathed Putin. “Captain! Nautilus is diving! Returning to previous heading!” Ramius sat back in his chair. “Battle stations.” OK: Ramius with Red October vs Nemo with a modernized Nautilus (outfitted with torpedoes but still is able to sink ships by ramming them). Whoever sinks their opponent wins. Game On!

I nominate @IKA for Member of the Month! All those in favor say aye!

THE BOTTOM LINE The Phantasm fought free from Red Hood’s grip and charged forward swinging her blade. Red Hood nimbly sprang over her and stabbed his knife into the armor shielding her neck. Landing on his feet he spun and fired his pistols as the Phantasm fired a blast of air with enough force to send him colliding into the stone parapet surrounding the roof. “Neat trick,” Red Hood grunted. “If your plan was to give me lung cancer. All that smoke does nothing long as I’m wearing my helmet.” “Then I will gladly peel it off your skull,” snapped the Phantasm. She yanked the knife from the base of her helmet and sped towards Red Hood, only for two bullets to catch her in the left shoulder. She reeled backwards but still pressed on, the Kevlar in her suit absorbing the impact. Another bullet hit her right shoulder, and another to the gut. The modulated voice of the Phantasm gasped in pain as her sprint slowed to a stumble, before dropping to a knee. Red Hood stood unmoving, both pistols at the ready to fire again. The Phantasm struggled to catch her breath and raised her gauntlet for a desperate burst of smoke, only for a final bullet from Red Hood to send her falling backwards to the rooftop. Red Hood strode over to the injured vigilante, blood dripping through the holes in the Kevlar. He stamped his foot on the bladed gauntlet and yanked it off the Phantasm’s arm. Then he pulled the mask from the battered face of Andrea Beaumont. She looked up defiantly at Red Hood. “So, what happens now?” “Well, I guess I’m going to have to kill you,” Red Hood said matter-of-factly. “Can’t have you telling the old man his favorite sidekick is in town. Not yet anyway.” “Then you learned nothing from Bruce! I used to think that vengeance would heal me, but it’s a lie! I was fooling myself! Whatever your planning, it won’t…!” BANG! Red Hood stood over the lifeless body of Andrea Beaumont. “And that’s why you lost. This city doesn’t need an Angel of Death. Or a Dark Knight. It has me.”

Thanks a lot. XD

Hey, @IKA. Does this mean @Macklemore is going to get the rating from this? XD

On the rooftop of an abandoned Gotham City tenement, Carlos Pereira glanced down at the traffic below. He wiped sweat off his brow and tried to slow his breathing. He then heard a familiar click and gulped. “Turn around.” Carlos slowly turned to face Red Hood aiming a pistol at his head. “You messaged me you wanted to talk,” he said. “Start talking.” “I’m sorry, Mr. Hood,” Carlos babbled. “I just wanted to ask you for a favor.” Carlos flinched as Red Hood drew closer. He could see his reflection in the red helmet. “It’s just… I’ve been having a run of bad luck. The cops hit my warehouse. They took me for 5 mil.” “You want me to give you a sympathy card?” interrupted Red Hood sarcastically. “I don’t give a damn about your bad luck. The deal is 40%. You will give me 40%.” “I just was thinkin’ we could maybe arrange something. I can give you more than money! I’ve got connections! My boys picked up a shipment from LexCorp. You need weapons, and bullets ain’t cheap, right?” Carlos’ attempt at a smile crumbled as Red Hood jabbed the pistol back in his face. “Who put you up to this?” “What? Uh, nobody! I wanted to negotiate a new deal! Honest!” “Shut it. You don’t have the spine or brains to try to set this meet up on your own. I want the name.” Carlos started whimpering as a cloud of smoke began to gather behind him. “Please, Mr. Hood. I didn’t have he choice! He said he was gonna kill me and all my boys if I didn’t go along with this!” “Give. Me. The. Name,” Red Hood hissed. “Please! Don’…” Carlos was cut short as a curved blade stuck out of his chest. Red Hood jumped backwards, cursing himself for being so focused on the mob boss that he missed the warning signs. The armored figure of the Phantasm emerged from the smoke, with Carlos Pereira still stuck on the blade on their right gauntlet. “Red Hood,” the Phantasm intoned. “Your Angel of Death awaits.” “Well, what do you know?” sneered Red Hood. “Didn’t think we’d ever see you in Gotham again. Does the old man know you are in town?” The Phantasm tossed Carlos off the blade and advanced on Red Hood. “You know nothing, Hood. I have returned to Gotham to find that it is still infested by scum like you.” Red Hood shrugged. “I’m just doing what is necessary. I’d have thought you’d appreciate that… Miss Beaumont.” The Phantasm paused and Red Hood pulled out a second pistol. “Oh yeah. I know who you really are under all that smoke and mirrors.” “I suppose it’s to be expected… Jason Todd.” Red Hood cocked his head incredulously as Phantasm started advancing again. “Your identity was not impossible to discover. You can hide your face, but you can’t hide your training from Bruce. Only a protégé of his could have achieved what you have.” “Huh. Touché. I’m sure Bruce would be thrilled to know that his dead lover and his dead partner are chatting on a roof. But I’ve got this situation under control. Either get out of my way and out of Gotham, or I can make you a ghost for real.” The Phantasm pointed at Red Hood with their blade. “If this city is to be saved, then all these criminals must be put down. And if you presume to be their leader, then you will be the next to die.” Red Hood quickly aimed and fired his pistols. The Phantasm projected a blast of smoke until the entire roof was enveloped. Red Hood glanced around him in the mist and raised a pistol just in time to catch the Phantasm’s blade. The blade cut the gun in two, then the Phantasm threw a left punch that dented Red Hood’s helmet. They brought the blade down again only for Red Hood to catch their arm. “You’ll have to do a lot better than that,” Red Hood snarled. OK: Both armored and at full strength. Red Hood with two pistols and knife. Game On!

THE BOTTOM LINE Al Rossi: And we’re back, folks! Al and Andel from a rooftop overlooking the lower levels of Mereen! And the battle for the city is reaching a boiling point! From our perch we can see Daenerys’ loyal soldier Daario Naharis lead a platoon of Unsullied against Ivy’s forces. Viserion and Rhaegal are bound in chains and vines and guarded by several enormous Venus flytraps. Tyrion Lannister: Oh, Seven Hells! Will you shut up?! Andel Sanap: We beg your pardon, Lord Tyrion. But we must inform our viewers on what is taking place. Tyrion Lannister: Of course. It just wouldn’t do for you to endanger a city full of people and not be able to tell anyone about it. Varys: Calm yourself, my Lord Hand. We must stay focused. Al Rossi: Err, as you can hear, folks, we are joined on the roof by Lord Tyrion, Varys, and Missandei. Daenerys has gone out of the city to try to find her third dragon and has placed her advisors in charge of containing the dual threats to her reign. Andel Sanap: We had been receiving word from messengers of the revolt being led by Minerva Mink on the other side of the city. The Unsullied commander Grey Worm had engaged a mob of Mereenese driven to adoring madness of the Toon. However, we haven’t received word from the battle in quite some time. Missandei: Must you speak of this madness so lightly?! Andel Sanap: Forgive me, my lady. I understand your concern for Grey Worm’s safety. Missandei: Just… do what you came here for. Al Rossi: Daario has fought past some of the flytraps and has now caught the attention of Poison Ivy. The Gotham criminal is laid out on some flora suspended over the snarling but immobilized dragons. Poison Ivy: Not bad, pretty boy. I might have a place for you once I’ve taken over this dump. Daario Naharis: Unfortunately, I have already sworn my sword to another. Poison Ivy: Too bad. I’ll just have split you two, give half to my babies and the rest to these overgrown geckos! Al Rossi: Yikes! A giant, thorn-covered vine shoots out from the ground a darts towards Daario! Andel Sanap: But he is able to leap out of the way to avoid it! My Lord Tyrion, what do you believe is your best course of action to deal with Poison Ivy? Tyrion Lannister: I am attempting to clean up the mess you and your damned TCC started! I don’t have time for ques….tionnnnnsss. Varys: My Lord Hand? Missandei: Lord Tyrion? Why are you looking like that? What’s wrong?! Minerva Mink: Oh, don’t worry about him, dear. He’s never felt better in his life! Al Rossi: WOW! Minerva is here! Her outfit is a little worse for wear but she’s looking as hot as ever! Andel Sanap: Umm, Al? Are you alright? Al Rossi: I’m fine! It’s just Minerva’s Toon power! Andel Sanap: But we are wearing a personal force field to protect us from violent attacks. It should’ve been able to shield you from Minerva’s… presence. Al Rossi: …Oh. Er, right. Minerva Mink: Haha! Don’t feel bad, Rossi. It all comes naturally for me! Varys: Tyrion, control yourself! Tyrion Lannister: Let go of me! Please! I just want to smell her hair! Minerva Mink: You heard him, tall, bald, and handsome! Don’t tell me you don’t find me… attractive? Varys: I.. must admit to finding you… slightly… divine. Missandei: Oh enough! Whatever your sorcery is, it won’t help you! Our queen will return and put an end to your plans. Minerva Mink: Look, honey, I’ve had a long day. I’ve spent the last three hours in this dirty, noisy town watching my gang of admirers get trounced by a bunch of spear wielding nuts. But at least it wasn’t a total loss. Oh, loverboy! Andel Sanap: Someone’s climbing up onto the roof! It’s…! By the Force! Missandei: Grey Worm?! Al Rossi: Uh oh. Grey Worm: Did you call, my beloved mistress? Minerva Mink: Yeah, sweetie. I’m not really about violence. So could you do your new queen a favor and hit these people with that… giant stick thing? Grey Worm: At your command, mistress! Andel Sanap: Grey Worm advances with his spear at the ready on Missandei and Daenerys’ beguiled advisors! Meanwhile, Naharis’ forces are getting surround by Poison Ivy’s botanical monsters. Ivy delivers a spinning kick to Naharis! He drops to the cobblestones! Poison Ivy: Don’t worry. I’m not gonna kill you. One kiss from me, and you’ll won’t even remember your old queen’s name. Daario Naharis: I will always forever remember my queen. And so shall you! Drogon: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Al Rossi: HOLY…!!!! Andel Sanap: The Mother of Dragons has returned! Al Rossi: And she’s riding Drogon! The biggest of her three dragons slams down to earth, crushing some of Ivy’s monsters and a few unlucky Unsullied. Minerva and her enthralled men are looking slack jawed at the scene. But look! Where’s Missandei going? Andel Sanap: She’s got a hold of Grey Worm! Grey Worm: You will let me go! I live to serve only Minerva! Missandei: Please, Grey Worm! It’s me! Missandei of Naath! Don’t you remember? Grey Worm: I don’t know you! I never knew you! Missandei: Yes, you do! And maybe this will remind you! Al Rossi: Whoa! Missandei just grabbed Grey Worm by the head and planted the biggest kiss on his lips I’ve ever seen! Andel Sanap: Grey Worm looks stunned, but is it enough to break Minerva’s control? Grey Worm: Miss… Missandei? Missandei: Yes! Yes, Grey Worm, it’s me! Minerva Mink: Hey! Hands off my man, lady! Al Rossi: Minerva lunges for Grey Worm! Missandei catches her by the wrists! Andel Sanap: They are struggling close to the edge of the roof! Tyrion and Varys are still lovestruck! Grey Worm looks between the two women. He raises his spear up! THWACK! Al Rossi: Oof! Right to the head of Minerva! Minerva’s seeing tweeting birds as she tumbled off the roof to the ground below! Missandei: Grey Worm! Grey Worm: Yes, Missandei of Naath. I am free once more. Tyrion Lannister: Ugh, what… what happened? Varys: I believe something I haven’t experienced for several decades. Al Rossi: There goes Minerva! She’s running on all fours for Drogon! Daenerys is focused on having her dragon corner Poison Ivy! Her flytraps have been crushed, and the Unsullied and Naharis are freeing the other two dragons. Daenerys Targaryen: You are defeated. Bend the knee and maybe your life will be spared. Poison Ivy: Danny, girl. There’s no need for this. It’s all just a game! Daenerys Targaryen: A game where you have taken my children! And for that, there is only one punishment. DRACARYS! Drogon: RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! Al Rossi: Welp, one roasted Gotham Girl. Andel Sanap: Viseron and Rhaegal are free! They are all breathing fire and burning the remaining flytrap creatures! Al Rossi: Um, Andel? Those flames are getting kind of close! Look out! Viserion is headed this….!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Al Rossi: Can you hear me? Control room, am I coming through clear? Andel Sanap: If you can hear us, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been attempting to restore contact for the last 20 minutes. Viserion’s flame damaged our camera equipment, but we believe it’s in working order now. Al Rossi: In the chaos, we saw Minerva jump on Drogon and saw the dragon take off with her and Daenerys! We’ve been sticking with Danny’s entourage to follow the creature and it appears all three of her dragons are gathered around the Great Pyramid! Tyrion Lannister: Naharis, Grey Worm. Be at the ready. Find the queen, and if you see Minerva, don’t hesitate to kill her. Daario Naharis: To avoid being put under her spell like you were, little man? Tyrion Lannister: Just get in the throne room! Andel Sanap: They rush into the room and…. Oh dear. Al Rossi: Minerva is sitting on the bench… curled up with Daenerys! Minerva Mink: Oh hi, guys! Come on in! Me and Danny were just getting better acquainted, aren’t we, Danny? Daenerys Targaryen: Oh yes, my love. Daario Naharis: My queen! Stand away from this creature! Daenerys Targaryen: Daario! Put away your sword! Tyrion Lannister: Daenerys! Daenerys Targaryen: I am your queen, and you will obey my commands! Minerva Mink: That’s right, dear. Now, how about you be a good girl and surrender your little kingdom to me so I can win this thing and get some beauty sleep? Daenerys Targaryen: I… I… Missandei: Daenerys, please! Minerva Mink: Don’t you start again, or I’ll chuck you off this pyramid myself! Ahem. You were saying, sweetie? Daenerys Targaryen: I… I… I can’t! Minerva Mink: What?! Daenerys Targaryen: I mean, you are beautiful, Minerva, but I need to rule Meereen! I must build up my forces to prepare to retake Westeros. But perhaps there is another way. Minerva Mink: A…nother way? Daenerys Targaryen: Yes. Perhaps you could stay in Meereen. As my consort. Minerva Mink: Ooo! A consort! Uh, what’s a consort? Tyrion Lanniser: Err, it’s somewhat like a queen. You would be Daenerys’… companion. Varys: And it would not be without it’s advantages. You’d have access to the royal purse, servants to tend to your every whim. Minerva Mink: Hmm. That sounds promising. Daenerys Targaryen: So do you accept, Minerva? Minerva Mink: Meh. Sure, why not? I’m tired of all this fighting anyway. And I could use a bath to get the dust out of my hair. Grey Worm: I’ll escort the consort to the baths, my queen! Missandei: You are staying right here! Tyrion Lannister: Yes, Grey Worm. I shall tend to Lady Minerva. Daenerys Taragaryen: Peace! Varys, if you would be so kind as to see to Minerva’s needs and find her a room in the pyramid? Varys: As you wish, my queen. Al Rossi: Sooo, does this count as a tie? Andel Sanap: I believe so. Daenerys still rules Meereen, but Minerva hasn’t really been defeated. Grey Worm: I am sorry for my weakness, Missandei of Naath. I allowed my passion to overwhelm me. Missandei: Don’t punish yourself, Grey Worm. Come with me. Grey Worm: Where? Missandei: Well, if you are still feeling passionate, there would be no need to let it waste, would it? Grey Worm: …Oh. No, there would not. Tyrion Lannister: Err, my queen, are you sure you are feeling alright? Daenerys Targaryen: Of course, Tyrion. Minerva is beautiful, but her powers only work on men. If I can keep her here, she will be a useful ally when we go to Westeros. Tyrion Lannister: An… interesting plan, my queen. Daenerys Targaryen: Of course, it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go gaze upon my beloved! Err, haha, I mean, um, see to my consort. Yes, my consort. Daario Naharis: Unbelievable. I’ve lost my queen to the spell of an animal! Al Rossi: Ah, look on the bright side. You could have lost her to her cousin. Daario Naharis: What? Al Rossi: Errr, anyway, folks, I think that wraps it up for us in Meereen! We’ve gone through the prelims, now it’s time for the main event! Andel Sanap: Yes, Al. The next time you hear from us the Transdimensional Combat Commission will proudly be presenting Battlesphere 2! 30 combatants enter, only one walks out victorious! Al Rossi: And don’t worry, folks, we also will be broadcasting some Bunker Battles we previously recorded. So, tons of TCC action coming your way! So for Andel Sanap, I’m Al Rossi saying so long from Meereen! Minerva Mink: Oh, Danny! This water’s too cold! Could you have one of your lizards heat it up a smidge? Daenerys Targaryen: Whatever you desire, beloved! Tyrion Lannister: Seven Hells.

Huh. This Bottom Line is going to be... interesting. XD

THE BOTTOM LINE Bulk and Skull raced through the entrance to the school cafeteria. Students shouted in alarm as the two bullies pushed them out of their way down the lunch line. “Bulk!” shouted Skull. “I think we lost ‘em!” Bulk looked over his shoulder but kept right on running. “Yeah! I knew we could outrun those three weirdos!” “Hey, Bulk! Watch where you’re…!” But Skull’s warning came too late. Bulk tripped over his own feet and was sent careening across the cafeteria towards a table set up for a class bake sale. The table was covered in pies. SPLAT! Bulk landed face first in a lemon merengue as Skull gave his ear-piercing giggle. Bulk slowly turned to see his friend laughing at him, along with the rest of the students in the cafeteria. He brushed aside crust and filling from his face and glared at Skull. “Oh, you think that’s funny, screwball?” Bulk grabbed a pecan pie and hurled it at Skull, who ducked out of the way just in time. Across the room, the Stooges burst into the cafeteria. “Spread out, boys,” called Moe. “And be prepared for anything!” The pecan pie caught him square in the face. Larry and Curly laughed for a moment until Moe wiped his face off and slapped his partners with the remnants of pie. “Get ‘em, you maroons!” “Don’t worry, Moe,” said Larry. “We’ll get MMMMPH!” A pie thrown by Skull lodged in Larry’s open mouth. Curly grunted and jumped up and down as he revved himself up to charge at Bulk and Skull. “Listen you!” SPLAT! SPLAT! Two more pies found their mark and Curly crashed into one of the tables covered with pies. The deserts catapulted through the air and smashed to earth as students scrambled to get out of the way. They moved towards the walls, laughing and ducking as Bulk, Skull, and the Stooges grabbed more ammunition and hurled it at will. The merriment came to a screeching halt when a platoon of Putties teleported into the cafeteria. The students screamed and ran away, but the pie throwers continued their struggle. A Putty snuck behind Curly, who held a pie in both hands. He swung the pie tins back, and the pies slipped out and landed on the Putty. Curly turned to see the befuddled foot soldier as it babbled and hissed. “Oh, sorry, pal. I was aiming for those two…” Curly’s voice faded as he finally realized that the person he was talking to wasn’t human. He let out a wail and ran towards Moe. “Moe! Moe! The Martians have landed!” Bulk and Skull pointed and screamed at the Putties as they advanced. “Putties! Run for it, Skull!” “Right behind you, Bulk!” The two bullies slipped and slid across the floor on pie tins and filling. As they slid along flailing their arms and legs, they inadvertently kicked and slapped the Putties that tried to block their path. Curly yanked on Moe’s arm, causing the pie in Moe’s hand to hit him. “What’s the matter with you?!” “Moe! The Martians are here! The Martians are here!” “Ah, you’ve been seeing Martians, eh? How would you like to see some stars?!” Larry pointed at the Putties as Moe delivered the eye poke. “It’s no joke, Moe! What are those things?!” Moe’s eyes widened at the approaching creatures. “Well, why don’t you take a closer look at ‘em?” Moe gave Curly a kick in the pants that sent the largest Stooge colliding with the Putties. Moe and Larry took off running as a couple Putties leapt after them, only for them to crash into the out-of-control Bulk and Skull. The two Stooges opened the door to the cafeteria to reveal a furious Mr. Caplan. “What in the world is going on in there?!” Larry slammed the door shut and blocked it with his body. “We’re trapped like rats!” he said to Moe. “Then we better cheese it!” snapped Moe. He dragged Larry by the ear as Curly slammed his gut into a Putty and sent him flying over a table. Moe and Larry each grabbed a pie as two Putties snuck up on Curly. “Hey, Martians!” shouted Moe. The Putties turned around just in time to get hit by the pies. Bulk and Skull’s slip and slide journey sent Putties flailing to the floor. “Bulk, I’m getting sick!” Skull moaned. “How do we get outta here?” “How should I know?” wailed Bulk. “I’m no wussy figure skatEEEEER!” The two bullies finally stopped when they slammed into a garbage can. Meanwhile the Stooges hurled pies, pokes, and punches at the hapless Putties. They all held up a pie to throw at the few Putties left standing. “Alright, boys!” called Moe. “Let ‘em have it!” The Stooges threw their pies in their tins like frisbees. The pie tins conked the Putties then inexplicably flew backwards like pinballs to clobber Bulk and Skull. The pies flipped out of their tins and landed on the heads of Bulk and Skull. The Stooges gathered around the fallen bullies. Larry’s face beamed with pride. “Hey, Moe! Look at us! We got our truants!” “I thought he played for Brooklyn?” wondered Curly. “That’s Durant, knobhead!” snarled Moe. “And we stopped those Martians!” went on Larry. Curly tilted his head. “Hey! Do you hear somebody whistling?” “Nobody’s whistling!” said Moe. Larry looked around nervously. “Maybe it’s more of them Martians!” Moe picked up a couple of pies left and handed them out to Curly and Larry. “The bozo may be right. Keep your guard up!” Technicolor lights flashed and the Power Rangers beamed into the cafeteria. “Hyah!” shouted Tommy. “Let’s kick some Putty tail!” Instantly the Rangers were hit by a deluge of pies. Curly hid his face in embarrassment. “Uh oh! We goofed!” “Let’s blow this crazy school!” said Moe. The Stooges bolted for the door, each with a pie in hand. The door opened and Caplan stormed in. The Stooges ran over the principal and tossed the pies into the air as they sprinted out the door. All three pies splatted onto Caplan as the Rangers tried to wipe pie filling off their helmets. “Does anyone have a clue what just happened?” asked Billy. Bulk and Skull opened their eyes and took in the sight of the Rangers, fallen Putties, and a pie covered principal. They shared a look confusion, then sunk to the filling and crust covered ground.

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. SAFETY OF ATTENDEES NOT GUARANTEED.* Al Rossi: Hellooooooo, fight fans! It’s Al Rossi and Andel Sanap coming to you live from…. Missandei: Silence! Al Rossi: Err, from the Great Pyramid of Meereen. Missandei: You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains. Daenerys Targaryen: Thank you, Missandei. I was expecting these… men to arrive. Sooner or later. Andel Sanap: We apologize for any insult, your highness. Daenerys Targaryen: Insult? You send me into your gladiator games with my dragons diminished, you deny me a chance to enter your ‘Battlesphere’ a second time, and now you dare to use my throne room for your… ‘commentary’? Al Rossi: Your highness, we promised you an opportunity to show our fans what you can do in another battle. And the TCC has decided to give you home field advantage. You have access to your Unsullied soldiers and your dragons against your opponents. Daenerys Targaryen: Opponents? Just how many adversaries has your TCC chosen for me? Al Rossi: Oh, just two. If, er, that’s ok? Missandei: My lady, be cautious. Daenerys Targaryen: It’s alright, Missandei. I am ready for them. So, when does your ‘game’ begin? Andel Sanap: Well, technically, your highness… Messenger: Your highness! Andel Sanap: It’s already begun. Daenerys Targaryen: How dare you enter your queen’s chambers unannounced? Messenger: Forgive me, your highness. But we’ve just gotten word. Two of your dragons are missing! Daenerys Targaryen: What?! How can this be? Messenger: The chamber door had been ripped off it’s hinges. The chamber is filled with enormous vines and Viserion and Rhaegal are gone. The guards were found unconscious. They speak of a woman in green approaching them, but they remember nothing else. Daenerys Targaryen: Double guard around the pyramid. Drogon may sense them in danger, and I want to be alerted the moment he is spotted. 2nd Messenger: Your highness! Daenerys Targaryen: More of your ‘games’, Lord Rossi? Al Rossi: Um, which answer won’t get me beheaded or barbequed? Daenerys Targaryen: Speak and be quick about it. 2nd Messenger: Your highness, there’s a madness spreading in the lower quarters of the city. Rumors of an animal that walks like a man. A creature that enraptures all who gaze upon her. She’s rallying the people against you! Daenerys Targaryen: Missandei, find Varys and Tyrion. We will find these women and restore order in my city. Missandei: Valar Dohaeris, my queen. Al Rossi: And we’re off to a roaring start, Andel! Poison Ivy has already dragon-napped two of Dany’s ‘kids’, and Minerva Mink has gone to work using her toon powers to stir up trouble. Andel Sanap: Indeed, Al. But Daenerys still has her armies, her final dragon, and two of the best strategic minds of Westeros. And she’ll need all of their assistance if she hopes to hold on to her throne. Al Rossi: The final preliminary battle before Battlesphere 2 has begun! And we’ll be here live to bring you all the action! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! Al Rossi: Um, ref? Referee: Yeah? Al Rossi: You see, the battle has already started. Referee: Uh, yeah? Andel Sanap: So there is really no need to count down if the combat has already commenced. Referee: But… I always like doing that part. Al Rossi: (sigh) Well, I guess you could. Andel Sanap: If you wish. Referee: Great! Thanks! 3! 2! 1! Commence combat! OK: The setting is Meereen from Game of Thrones season 6. Daenerys has her army, one dragon, and her advisors. Poison Ivy has her powers, and two captured dragons. Minerva Mink has her toon powers and is building an army of lovestruck Meereen citizens. Whoever takes over the city wins. Game On!

THE BOTTOM LINE U.N.I.C.E.’s drone flew over the housetops towards St. Marks. Her sensors could pick up the unmistakable traces of demonic activity. As she drew nearer, she could detect the image of Luxor Spawndroth and Ludicrous dancing around the fallen Castiel. They were so busy celebrating they didn’t even notice the metallic sphere swoop down towards them. “Luxor Spawndrtoth!” U.N.I.C.E.’s speakers blared. “This is your one chance to surrender!” Spawndroth whirled around and glared up at U.N.I.C.E. “Great! Not you again! Ludicrous! Show this flying tin can who she’s messin’ with!” “Uh, with what, dude?” “Shoot her, you dolt! Take out a laser and shoot her!” “But… I didn’t bring a laser, dude.” Spawndroth facepalmed as U.N.I.C.E. flew past them and hovered over Castiel, still writhing in pain. She scanned Spawndroth’s device as he ranted at Ludicrous. “Why didn’t you bring a laser?! I told you to bring a laser!” “But all those scary guys that Crowley dude brought took them all!” “If you really need a laser,” said U.N.I.C.E. “Have one of mine!” The drone fired a shot at the device, instantly destroying it. U.N.I.C.E. zoomed on her way towards the church with Spawndroth and Ludicrous trying to give chase. “Hey! Come back here! I’ll turn you into scrap metal, you interfering artificial intelligence!” Before Spawndroth could make good his threat, Castiel had teleported to his feet in front of the demons. With a glare he grabbed a hold of both of their heads and a celestial light shone in his eyes. “Enough,” Castiel intoned. “Dude,” said Ludicrous worriedly. “What’s going on?” “Oh, boy,” moaned Spawndroth. “This is going to hurt. Again!” Within seconds, Castiel’s smiting power enveloped the two demons. The two shook and babbled incoherently as their bodies collapsed into piles of green goo. When the deed was done, Castiel dropped to a knee and tried to catch his breath. Meanwhile, inside St. Marks, Sam and Dean looked on in amazement as Bibleman and Coats battled Yael’s demons. Two demons clashed their angel blades against Bibleman’s Sword of the Spirt, but they were battered away with ease. Another demon gave a wail as Coats lasers caused him to explode into ectoplasm. Yael shouted instructions and grew more enraged as the fight went on. “Take them! They’re only two men!” “Jesus said that ‘where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them,” shouted Bibleman. One of his attackers gave a furious screech and charged at him. Bibleman caught him by the arm and hip tossed him into his partner. “Matthew 18:20.” Coats deflected a female demon’s angel blade with his force field but was caught off guard as she kicked him in the chest. He raised his arms to protect himself, but the demon’s blade clipped his right wrist guard, causing the force field to fizzle out. The demon sneered and raised her weapon only to yell as a blast from U.N.I.C.E.’s drone disintegrated her. The drone flew across the hall to Coats’ side. “Still requiring my assistance?” she said cheekily. “Thanks,” said Coats, firing a laser from his left guard that destroyed a demon sneaking up on U.N.I.C.E. “Don’t get cocky.” Bibleman dived over a lunging demon and delivered a kick to the head before landing in a crouch. “U.N.I.C.E.! Activate program Revelation 8:7!” “Initializing program Revelation 8:7 in 7, 6…” Bibleman turned to Sam and Dean and shouted. “Get back!” He raised his cape over his head and the Winchesters and Coats ducked under a table. The demons looked confused at the drone starting to spin above the hall as Yael screamed. “Run, you fools!” “3, 2, 1.” The drone continued spinning faster and faster as laser bolts shot out of it. The remaining demons howled as the bolts found their targets and destroyed the demon’s vessels. Yael snarled watching her forces get eliminated until U.N.I.C.E. slowly spun to a stop. The only other demon that had found cover staggered forward brandishing his blade. He raised it high only for Sam and Dean to stab him with their blades instead. Bibleman and Coats walked over to the Winchesters. “Thanks for your help,” said Bibleman. “You two were handling things pretty good on your own,” said Sam. Dean coughed awkwardly. “Yeah, you… got some moves.” BIbleman grinned. “For a guy in purple spandex?” Yael crawled out from under a pile of fallen chairs over to one of the demons’ discarded lasers. She shakily picked it up and took aim at Bibleman’s back. Bibleman’s expression became serious, and he spun around just as Yael fired. The Sword of the Spirt blocked the blast and deflected it back to Yael. “Damn!” Dean breathed. Sam slapped his arm. “Dean. It’s a church.” “Oh. Yeah, right.” Crowley watched the scene play out on the viewscreen of Spawndroth’s hideout and silently fumed. “Welp, there he goes again,” said L.U.C.I. “Err, any further instructions, your demonic majesty?” Crowley scowled and marched to the door. “Just tell Spawndroth and his pet moron when they resurrect that they have appointment with me in Hell. We’re going to have a nice, long… talk.” L.U.C.I. gulped as the king of Hell disappeared. Underneath Miles Peterson’s home of Eaglegate Manor, Sam Winchester looked around the Biblecave. Coats stood at his side showing him the various tech that he and Bibleman had developed. “Over there is the chamber where Miles can armor up, and down that hallway is where we keep the tunnel bike.” “He’s got a motorcycle?” “Yeah, I fixed it up myself.” “Does he let you ride it?” “No, he does not,” chimed in U.N.I.C.E. Coats shot a look at U.N.I.C.E.’s computer screen then back to Sam. “It’s just that he usually is the one on call while I monitor him here and…” “Don’t worry about it,” said Sam. “My brother won’t let me drive his car either.” Dean and Miles looked on as Coats continued the tour. “According to U.N.I.C.E.,” said Miles. “There is no trace of Spawndroth or any other demon activity.” “But you did say he can resurrect himself, right?” “Yeah, but we’ll be ready for him, with God’s help.” Dean sighed. Miles gave a look of concern. “How about you? That battle did take a lot out of you.” “I don’t know. I guess I don’t know how to feel about all this.” “About what?” “Well… it’s just… My brother and I have been at this hunting thing for a long time. We’ve seen so much death and evil it sometimes feels easier not to believe anything.” He turned to face Miles. “What I mean is… what if you found out that there was stuff in the Bible, about angels, demons, the Devil and God, that wasn’t true? What if you…” “Couldn’t be Bibleman anymore?” Dean slowly nodded. Miles folded his arms and thought for a moment before he spoke. “’I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.’ 2 Timothy 4:7-8.” Dean looked confused. “Um, could I get the non-King James version, please?” Miles chuckled and nodded. “Even if I had to give up being Bibleman, I’d never stop trying to help people. Not just because I know that there are real demons out there, but because of all the smaller battles that people go through every day. Young people and adults too, facing their own personal struggles. People who need someone to talk to and show them that no matter how much it feels like evil is winning in this world, they don’t have to give in to the darkness.” Miles looked towards Sam as Coats and U.N.I.C.E. went into another argument. “What about you and your brother? If someone told you that the battle was hopeless, would you two stop fighting?” Dean looked at his brother and shook his head. “No, I guess not.” He glanced down at his watch and called to Sam. “Sam! Time for us to hit the road!” Miles extended a hand to Dean. “God be with you, Dean.” Dean paused for a moment, then accepted the handshake. “You too.” As the Winchesters got into their car, Sam gave a last look at Eaglegate. “So, what do you think?” Dean pulled out the keys. “Well, still think the costume’s corny, but I guess it’s a good thing they’re on our side.” Sam nodded and Dean started up the car. The Chevy Impala drove down the driveway. “Does this mean we could get capes too?” “Don’t push it.” “Just saying, I think you’d look good in a cape.” “Shut up.”

Thanks for helping this Match break 1K views!

In Ms. Appleby’s classroom in Angel Grove High School, Jason and the other Power Rangers sat with their fellow classmates in nervous anticipation. Principal Caplan stood before the class with arms folded. “Well, students, I have some good news for you before you begin your studies today. Ms. Appleby called me yesterday to let you know that she’s doing just fine. Thankfully that tumble down the school steps wasn’t as injurious as the doctors feared, and she should be back on the job some time within the next few weeks.” There was a cheer and some applause from the students. “For the time being,” Principal Caplan went on. “You will be having a substitute teacher fill in for Ms. Appleby while she’s recovering. Unfortunately, that teacher appears to be running late this morning, so I shall be filling in for them until they get here. So, if you will please open your textbooks to page…” There was a sudden banging at the door. Caplan shot an accusatory look at the students. “Did one of you children look this door?” “Nobody did, Mr. Caplan,” said Billy. “Maybe it got stuck,” offered Kimberly. Caplan sighed, strode over to the door, and gave the handle a sharp tug. The door instantly swung open, and three men fell over each other into the classroom. They each were dressed in graduation caps and gowns, which they struggled to untangle themselves from to stand up. The students could only look on with a mix of shock and amusement as the man with the bowl cut whirled on the other two. “Spread out!” snapped Moe. “Why don’t you idiots look where you’re going?” “I was, Moe,” said Curly. “I was going through the door and to the floor!” “Aw, a wise guy, eh?” Moe gave a slap to Curly and Larry jumped in between them. “Hey, there’s no need to be rough on him!” “You mind your own business!” Moe went for an eye poke on Larry, only for Curly to catch his arm as he pulled back. “Nyuck nyuck nyuck!” Curly chortled. “Outsmarted ‘em that time!” Moe gave a deceptively cheerful smile. “Oh you want something that smarts, do ya?” Moe yanked his arm back sending his elbow into Curly’s face, then finished by delivering the eye poke to Larry. “Gentlemen, please!” Caplan shouted as some of the students started laughing. “Would you be so kind as to explain what you’re doing in my school?” The Three Stooges stood to attention and raised their right hands in the Boy Scout salute. “We are your substitute teachers,” they said in unison. “But there must be some mistake,” said Caplan. “I requested only one substitute teacher for this class.” “You must’ve filled it out in triplicate!” said Larry. “You moron, he filled it out in the school!” barked Moe, punctuating his words with a yank to Larry’s nose. “Well,” said Caplan, desperately trying to regain control. “I suppose we’ll just have to make the best of it. I trust you all have been properly trained in education. Do you know grammar?” “Certainly!” said Curly. “Grammar is married to Grampa!” “No, no no!” said Caplan. “Not grandma! Grammar! For example, how would you spell inconsequential?” “Wrong every time! Nyuck nyuck nyuck!” Moe yanked on Larry’s ear. “You trying to louse this job up for all of us, peabrain?!” “Oh, don’t mind him, boss,” said Larry. “I know education. I got a free ride to Yale!” “A free ride to Yale? How did you do that?” “Hitchhiked!” Larry laughed loudly, only stopping when Moe delivered a punch to the gut to him and Larry. Trini could only sit in her seat in disbelief at the scene before her. “These guys are crazy!” “Yeah!” laughed Zack. “They’re great!” “Can you gentlemen at least call the roll?!” yelled Caplan, sweat causing his toupee to start to slip loose. “Sure thing, captain,” said Larry. He scrambled onto the teacher’s desk and called out. “Roll! Here, roll! Come here, roll!” The class roared with laughter as Moe swung his arm and swept Larry’s legs out from under him. He smashed through the desk and looked up in confusion at the furious Moe. “You bozo! He means we need to find out who’s here!” “Oh, that’s easy!” said Curly. He stepped toward the class and waved. “Okay, boys and girls! Anyone who isn’t here, raise your hands!” There were some looks of confusion and giggles from the students as Moe whirled on Curly. “How they supposed to raise their hands if they ain’t here, stupid?” “Oooooh!” said Curly. “I got ya! Okay, boys and girls! Anyone who isn’t here, don’t raise your hands! Nyuck nyuck nyAHHH!” As Moe fish hooked Curly’s ear and Caplan struggled in vain to keep the peace, Bulk and Skull peeked around the doorframe into the classroom. “Now this is just perfect!” said Bulk. “With everybody watching those idiots, we can sneak in late and not get noticed!” Skull nodded and grinned. “Yeah! They won’t even notice you, Bulk! And that’s sayin’ something! Hahaha!” Skull’s piercing laughing died on his lips from Bulk’s glare. He shoved Skull ahead. “Just move, dope!” Bulk and Skull tiptoed into the classroom as Moe delivered a final slap to Larry and Curly. “Now enough of this foolin’ around!” Caplan shoved a paper with students’ names written on it. “Just call the names and get on with it!” The Stooges gathered around the paper, and Moe poked his head up to call the names. “Zack Taylor?” “I’m here!” “Kimberly Hart?” “Here!” “Angela Thompson?” “Here!” “Eugene Skullovich?” Without even thinking, Skull raised his hand. “Here, teach!” Bulk froze halfway to his seat and stared in disbelief at his friend’s stupidity. “Bulkmeir! Skullovitch!” barked Caplan. “What are you doing out of your seats?” “Uh, just stretching our legs, sir,” said Bulk. “Yeah!” said Skull. “Exercise is good for you!” Caplan turned to address the Stooges. “It appears you have a couple of tardy students. And it’s not their first time either. What would you say would be an appropriate punishment?” A dangerous glint came to the Stooges eyes. “Hang ‘em by their thumbs!” said Moe. “Lock ‘em in the stockade with no bread and water!” said Larry. “Send them to their room!” said Curly. Caplan shook his head in exasperation. “How about something a little less extreme?” The Stooges thought for a moment, then Larry snapped his fingers. “Hey! When I was in school and did something bad, my teacher made me clean the erasers!” “Say, good idea, porcupine,” said Moe. He pointed at Bulk and Skull. “Okay, you two. Those erasers won’t clean themselves, so hop to it!” Bulk and Skull looked unimpressed. “Are you kidding?” asked Bulk. “It’s either cleaning erasers or spending the next week in detention after school,” threatened Caplan. Bulk grumbled to himself then grabbed Skull by his collar and dragged him to the blackboard to collect the erasers. “Okay,” said Moe to the class. “With all that out of way, let’s get on with the lesson. Today we are going to talk about the War of 1812.” “Oh I know that one!” said Larry. “Mrs. Fleegle was yelling at Mr. Fleegle cuz he’d been staying at work late, and she thought it was because him and his secretary were…” Moe swatted Larry on the back of the head. “You maroon! That didn’t happen in 1812!” “It sure did! I was in apartment 1814 and heard the whole thing!” Bulk shot Skull a dirty look as the class continued laughing at the Stooges antics. “You just had to open your big mouth!” “Sorry, Bulk. Do we really have to clean these erasers?” “Of course not, numbskull! I got an idea to get us out of here! Hold that eraser and do as I do!” Bulk turned around and called out. “Mr. Caplan! Sir! I think there’s something wrong with this eraser!” “What on earth are you talking about, Bulkmeir?” “Skull’s found something in the eraser! See for yourself!” Caplan facepalmed as Moe shoved Curly forward. “You go over there and see what the boy hippopotamus over there is talking about!” “Sure thing, Moe!” Curly marched over to Bulk and Skull, Skull holding the eraser cloth up. “What can I do for you, boys?” “Just look at this eraser, teach. There’s something in it.” Curly dutifully bent over the eraser and looked it up and down. “I don’t see nuthin’!” “You got to look closer. Right, Skull?” Skull looked hopelessly lost but nodded when he saw a scowl from Bulk. “Oh, yeah! Closer!” Curly shrugged and leaned down closer to the eraser, his nose almost touching the cloth. Bulk then reached over and hit Skull’s hand, sending the eraser right into Curly’s face. The Stooge spluttered and coughed as chalkboard dust coated his face. Bulk and Skull raucously laughed as Curly slapped his face and gasped for breath. “Ahh… ahhhh….ahhhhh CHOOOOOOOOOOO!” The force of Curly’s sneeze sent him flying across the room into the other Stooges and Caplan. Bulk grabbed Skull by the shoulder. “Come on, Skull! Let’s get out of here!” “Right behind you!” Bulk and Skull bolted for the door as Caplan and his teachers struggled to their feet. “Get off of me, you dumb walrus!” snarled Moe. “It wasn’t my fault!” whined Curly. “Something got in my nose!” “Well, here’s something else for your nose!” Moe grabbed Curly by the nose as Caplan jumped in. “Stop this fighting! You have two students skipping your class! If they do that, they will flunk! You know what that means?!” The Stooges looked at each other in horror. “They won’t get to grad-iate!” said Moe. “They won’t go to college!” said Larry. “We won’t get paid!” said Curly. “Come on, boys!” cried Moe. “After ‘em!” The Stooges stampeded for the door, getting stuck for a moment before squeezing out. Caplan adjusted his toupee as he followed them, along with the rest of the class. The Power Rangers were the last students in the room. “I never had a class like that before,” giggled Kimberly. “Yeah, let’s follow them!” said Zack. “I want to see what those crazy guys do next!” Suddenly, Jason’s wrist communicator started beeping. “Hold on a second, guys.” He gave a last look around the room then activated the communicator. “Come in, Alpha. What’s up?” “Ay yi yi yi! Rangers, Zordon is detecting a squadron of Putties have landed in Angel Grove! You need to morph and stop them!” Zach looked disappointed at the door. “Aw, man! I wanted to watch the show!” “Sorry, Zach,” said Jason. “We got business of our own to take care of. Teleport us there, Alpha!” The rangers beamed away as the school bell rang for passing period and Bulk and Skull ran for their lives from the Three Stooges. OK: The Stooges need to catch Bulk and Skull and get them back in the classroom. There is also another squad of putties that will appear at the school to create even more chaos. Game On!

Took some liberties to flesh out his backstory, but I watched the show growing up too, and I figured if the Winchesters could have an episode where they meet Scooby-Doo, why not have them team up with Bibleman?

The sun shone bright on the stage set up in the park. An excited crowd had gathered in front of the stage as the mayor of the town reached the conclusion of his speech. “And so, after 5 years of tireless dedication of promoting values and morals to our young citizens and being constant in his resolve to better our community, it is my pleasure to award this key to the city to our guest of honor today: Bibleman!” The crowd burst into cheers and applause as BIbleman walked up the steps onto the stage. He was followed by his sidekick Coats, an African American man with a goatee wearing black and white camo and a beret. Coats waved to the crowd as Bibleman accepted the oversized key. He then set it down and addressed the crowd. “Thank you, Mayor. On behalf of Coats and myself, I would like to say thank you for this honor. In fact I’m so honored I promise I’ll keep this speech short.” There were a few good-natured cheers mixed with the audience’s laughter as Bibleman smiled and continued. “In James 4:10, the Bible says, “Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will exalt you.” I can only hope that God continues to use me to show everyone, young and old, the power of His Word. Thank you again for this award, and God bless you all.” The mayor shook Bibleman’s hand as the crowd applauded. “And thank you, Bibleman! There will be a reception later this evening at St. Marks, and we hope to see you all there!” On the edges of the park, a man stood with their phone out, zooming in on Bibleman with the camera. Taking a few pictures, Sam Winchester lowered his phone and sighed. “Oh boy.” “I don’t believe this crap!” Dean Winchester paced around the hotel room as Sam sat with a laptop at a desk. “Cas tells us we need help for a demon attack, and who does he show us? Bill Graham in a cape!” “I don’t know, Dean,” said Sam, gesturing to the articles he had pulled up on his computer. “This Bibleman guy has apparently been doing a lot of good in this area. Community outreach, anti-bullying and anti-drug campaigns. He seems legit.” “As legit as a guy can be running around in purple spandex,” Dean muttered. “There is more to the Bibleman than meets the eye.” Dean jumped slightly as the angel Castiel suddenly spoke after appearing out of nowhere. “Geez, Cas! Don’t angels ever knock?” “My apologies, Dean. But if we are going to complete our mission, we will need the Bibleman’s assistance.” “Cas, we saw the articles about a streak of home invasion/murders in this county,” Sam said. “But you’re sure that this is demon related?” “Yeah, this place looks so squeaky clean I half expect Wally and the Beaver to walk out of one of these houses.” Castiel looked puzzled at Dean. “Beavers are not native to this area.” Dean groaned and Sam stood up from the desk. “Cas, why don’t you tell us what this is all about? If the killers are demons, what do they want around here?” Castiel walked past Dean to look out the window. “7 years ago, Crowley became aware of this town and the surrounding region. He found their faith and trust in God… annoying. He entrusted a group of demons with the task of corrupting this area to leave the people at risk for possession. In charge of this mission, he placed a low-ranking demon named Luxor Spawndroth.” “Sounds like a real charmer,” snarked Dean. “He is not,” said Castiel. “Despite possessing a talent for combining demonic power with human technology, Spawndroth is unstable even by demon standards. He decided that the best way to weaken the humans’ faith was to target one of their preeminent citizens, a wealthy businessman named Miles Peterson. Spawndroth predicted that if he could bring down Peterson, the resulting wave of negative emotion would leave the people of this town at his mercy.” Sam clicked a few keys on his laptop and called up a news article. “Well, he did a number on Peterson alright. Rumors came up about him stealing from his company. Nothing was proven but he got ousted anyway. He then lost his wife and two sons in car accident.” Dean started pacing again. “Okay, so this guy gets the Job treatment from this Spawndroth guy. What’s all this got to do with this Bibleman?” Sam looked awkwardly at Dean. “Dean? I think Castiel is saying that Miles Peterson is Bibleman.” Dean stared at his brother. “Seriously? Some CO goes from Hell’s punching bag to a guy who’s fighting demons? How is this guy lasting that long?” Dean stopped himself, then turned to face an uncomfortable looking Castiel. “Aw, Cas. Don’t tell me the angels made a superhero?” “It was decided to be necessary. The angels agreed that if Spawndroth’s attention was focused here on Peterson’s alter ego, his own obsession would keep him distracted from developing weapons that would be a threat to human and angel alike. He’d already developed a method of resurrecting himself if his vessel is destroyed. Bibleman would serve to keep him and his allies in check.” Sam pulled up another article describing one of the home invasions. “Does Spawndroth usually operate like this? Three families murdered in their homes?” Castiel shook his head. “Spawndroth’s methodology usually focuses on testing his new weapon on children to draw out Peterson. If these are demon attacks, then something has indeed changed.” In the decrepit mansion that served as his hideout, Luxor Spawndroth stood nervously before the chair Crowley was sitting in. Behind Spawndroth was his henchman Ludicrous, whose eyes darted around the smoke-filled room as black-eyed demons glared back at him. “So you see, boss,” Spawndroth stammered. “I’ve been having some great results with this new invention of mine. With it I project an energy field that causes my target to succumb to their own crippling fears, and when they…” “Shut it.” Spawndroth gulped as Crowley stared a hole through him. “It’s been 5 bloody years. I’m expecting results, not a bunch of half-baked gadgets. That’s why I’ve brought in my friends here to show you two idiots how to do this job right.” “Dude,” muttered Ludicrous. “He was just trying to help, dude.” Spawndroth gave a pained look at his henchmen. “Ludicrous, for once would you shut up?!” Crowley gave a nod and a female demon instantly grabbed Ludicrous by the hair, yanked his head back and put an angel blade to his throat. Ludicrous gasped for breath as Crowley sneered at Spawndroth. “See? That’s how you give someone crippling fear. And I didn’t need to waste time and resources to do it. Yael? Release him.” The demon looked annoyed for a moment, then let Ludicrous go with a shove. Crowley turned to face the viewscreen that hung on the wall above them. “L.U.C.I.! Show me the party these meat bags are throwing for their hero.” “As you command, your highness,” said Spawndroth’s AI. The screen went to static then showed an image of excited people gathering outside St. Marks. “Today’s the day were going to finish this caped Christian off once and for all,” said Crowley. “Yael, you will lead the attack. Bring 8 of your best fighters.” “Are you sure 8 is enough?” Crowley scowled at Spawndroth, who cowered next to Ludicrous. “And you two dolts will have a part to play in this too. Do it right, and you might just avoid me testing how many times it takes to kill you before your resurrections run out.” Miles Peterson took a sip from his red solo cup as he observed the activity taking place in St. Marks fellowship hall. Coats was talking to an attractive lady by the punch bowl, and the room was beginning to fill up with people. It was getting close to time for him to summon the Bibleman armor for the event. Suddenly, Peterson’s watch started beeping. He glanced around to see he wasn’t being watched, then swiftly exited the hall and ducked into one of the classrooms. He pressed a button on the watch and raised it up to his mouth. “U.N.I.C.E.? Can you read me?” “Loud and clear, Bibleman,” said U.N.I.C.E., Peterson’s computer program designed to assist him in his hero duties. “What’s going on? Are you detecting something?” “I am not sure. Sensors are giving some rather peculiar readings. Possible enemy activity.” Peterson peeked back into the hallway as he spoke to U.N.I.C.E. “Well, everything seems normal here. But no sense taking chances. Deploy your satellite. If Spawndroth pays us a visit, we might need some back up.” “On it, Bibleman!” “Oh yeah, Bibleman and I go way back,” bragged Coats to the lady at the punch bowl. “We’ve had some great times and done lots of good too. If you're interested, I know this Chinese place a few blocks from…” “Mister… Coats?” The lady walked away as Coats turned to face Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean quickly showed an ID before slipping it back in his suit pocket. “I’m Agent Hawking, this Agent Darwin. We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions.” “Oh, I see. I’d love to help out, fellas. What do you want to know?” “We’d like to start with what your friend Bibleman is up to,” said Sam. Coats shrugged. “Well, he does appearances at the local churches, food drives, VBS…” “How about fighting demons?” asked Dean. Coats looked at the brothers in surprise. “Just who are you guys?” In the parking lot, Castiel kept a vigilant watch on the people entering St. Marks. He could sense that there was a demon presence nearby. Suddenly his eyes narrowed on a figure tip toeing around the corner of the church. Ludicrous nearly jumped out of his skin as Castiel teleported in front of him. “Whoa! Dude! Are you like from Star Trek or something?” “What is your business here, demon?” Castiel said coldly. Ludicrous gave a puzzled look. “Oh, yeah. I’m uh, oh right! I’m the distraction!” Before Castiel’s mind could register what Ludicrous had said, Luxor Spawndroth had snuck up behind him and slapped a metallic button on his back. The device whined as electrical charges shot out from it into Castiel. Spawndroth jumped up and down cackling as Castiel fell to the grass groaning in agony. “We got an angel! We got an angel! Hahaha! How do you like that, wing boy?! Just a never-ending wave of fear, despair, anger, and doubt, mixed with a heaping helping of good ol’ fashioned pain! Hahahaha! Won’t be able to save your buddies this time!” “Look, fellas,” said Coats. “I think you guys have got Bibleman confused with someone else.” “Cut the act,” said Dean. “We know about Spawndroth, and we know who Bibleman actually is. If he’s going to fight what’s coming for him, he’ll need our help.” “He’ll need a lot more than that!” A gasp rang through the fellowship hall and Coats and the Winchesters turned to see Yael and her 8 demons standing in the middle of the room. Yael smirked at the Winchesters. “Well, well. Things must be getting bad for the Winchesters. You need to ask for help from the second stringers?” “You know these people?” asked Coats. Yael turned to address the crowd. “You and your Bibleman. Where was he when that family got butchered in their own home last week? He can’t save you. And neither can your God!” The crowd murmured in shock as Coats took a step forward. “Look, ma’am. This is supposed to be a party. If you want to talk about our beliefs, we can do it in private. But if you just want to cause a scene, I suggest you leave.” Sam and Dean moved ahead of Coats. “Best leave this to us, Coats,” said Sam. “Oh we’re not here to make trouble,” Yael said coyly. “I just wanted to give you my favorite Bible verse. They made a song about it and everything. ‘To every thing there is a season, and a time and a purpose under heaven. A time to be born…” Yael blinked and her eyes went black. “And a time to die.” An angel blade dropped out of her jacket sleeve into her waiting right hand. Dean barely had time to shout before Yael raised her weapon and charged at Sam. “Sam! Look out!” Coats jumped in the way, pressed a couple buttons on the metallic wrist guards he wore, and raised his arms in a boxing stance. A force field projected between the guards, catching Yael’s blade. She grunted and snarled as she tried to pull the blade free from the field and Coats stared confidently back at her. “Nice work on your memory verse. But you left out my favorite part!” Coats pushed back with the force field and deactivated it, sending Yael stumbling backward into her demons. “’A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance’. And since this is a party and you don’t want to leave peacefully, let’s dance.” With a roar Yael and her forces charged at Coats as the Winchesters each drew an angel blade. Partygoers ran out of the hall screaming and shouting as the sides battled. Seeing the chaos from the classroom, Peterson inputted a command on his watch. “U.N.I.C.E.! Initialize an onsite Full Armor Sequence! Now!” “Executing Full Armor Sequence.” Peterson stood to attention and looked to the heavens as energy swirled around him. Pieces of his armor materialized onto his body as U.N.I.C.E. invoked them. “Waistbelt of Truth! Breastplate of Righteousness! Shield of Faith! Shoes of Peace! Helmet of Salvation! Full Armor Sequence complete!” Clad in his purple and gold armor, Bibleman stepped forward and nodded. “And the Sword of the Spirit. U.N.I.C.E., increase the speed of your satellite. We’ll be needing you sooner than we thought.” As Sam battled with one of the demons, he saw Coats firing a red laser from his wrist guards at another. The demon stood frozen and grunted in pain as he tried to fight his way to Coats. “Come on, Cas, where are you?” Dean muttered under his breath before delivering a punch to female demon. Yael delivered a kick to Dean’s knee from behind, dropping him to the floor. “Dean!” Sam’s cry was interrupted by the demon he was fighting charging at him full force and sending him crashing into the snack table. Yael stood tall over Dean with a triumphant glare. “Imagine how Crowley will reward me when I not only kill the Bibleman, but the Winchesters as well! Kill the sidekick and find me Bibleman!” The other 7 demons advanced on Coats as he increased the setting on his wrist guards. Then there was a sudden burst of light behind Coats that blinded the demons. Coats turned around when the light faded to see Bibleman standing at the ready. “Was wondering when you were going to show up,” said Coats. “I could give a verse on patience, but we don’t have the time,” said Bibleman. Yael moved in front of her squad, eyes focused on the superhero. “You should have stayed in hiding. The King of Hell has ordered me to take your head.” Bibleman stood unmoved by the threat. “Isaiah 54:17 says, ‘No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgement you shall condemn.’ You aren’t going to be harming me, or anyone else.” Yael flinched then tried to regain her composure. “You really think your going to stop me with some old verses?” Bibleman extended his arm towards the demons. “I hoped so. But if not, then here’s another word from my Sponsor.” A panel slid open on Bibleman’s right gauntlet and purple cylinder shot out into his hand. A press of a button and yellow blade of light emerged from it. Dean looked at Sam in disbelief as Bibleman held the Sword of the Spirit at the ready. “This guy has a lightsaber?!” “Kill them!” howled Yael. “Kill them all!” OK: Bibleman is armored and armed with the Sword of the Spirit (designed like a lightsaber). Coats has the wrist guards equipped with a force field and lasers that can destroy demons with prolonged exposure. Yael and her 8 demons are all black eyed demons in human form from Supernatural with enhanced strength. They each are armed with blades and four of them have lasers from Spawndroth. Castie and the Winchesters are unable to help during the fight, but U.N.I.C.E. in her satellite (drone) mode will be arriving to assist. Game On!

THE BOTTOM LINE Andel Sanap: Cinderella has reached the edges of the Ivy attack zone. Oversized vines are bursting through the pavement and Gothamites are staggering and dropping from the effects of the neurotoxin. Cinderella: Sonya! These poor people! Isn’t there something we can do? Sonya Blade: Stay calm, your highness. The Batman is working on distributing the antidote. For now I’m going to need you to rip off a piece of your dress. Cinderella: My… dress? Sonya Blade: Yes, quickly! Large enough to cover your nose and mouth. Try to control your breathing. The first sign of infection, use one of your teleports to get me to you. Cinderella: Understood, general. Al Rossi: As Cinderella masks up and heads into the Ivy created chaos, Snow White has wandered into the Scarecrow zone. She’s really looking freaked out as the Gothamites are going into a drug induced panic around her. Cassie Cage: Just keep moving! Just a couple of blocks! Snow White: I can’t! It’s so terrible! I… I can’t do it! Thug: Hey you! Al Rossi: Uh oh. Andel Sanap: Our princess now has her path blocked by a group of 5 individuals in gas masks. I didn’t think Scarecrow was going to have his henchmen in the zone. Al Rossi: He doesn’t! They must be a gang that got the masks on when they saw the attack starting! Thug: Looky here, boys. Look at this pretty lady, all alone in the big city. Snow White: Please! Please don’t hurt me! Thug: Oh we won’t hurt you, lady. As long as you give us all you got! Starting with that piece of jewelry you got there! Snow White: No! No don’t! Al Rossi: They’re struggling for the bracelet! Snow hit the button! A flash of light and Cassie Cage is on the scene! Thug: Who the hell are you?! Cassie Cage: Her fairy godmother, moron. Andel Sanap: By the Force! What a kick! Al Rossi: But his buddies are jumping into the act. Cassie’s holding her own, but Snow White’s making a run for it! The fear toxin has gotta be setting in! Andel Sanap: Sergeant Cage disposes of the last of gang members and injects herself with a syringe with antitoxin. She takes off down the road after Snow White. Cassie Cage: Snow! Princess! Come back! I here to help… Al Rossi: Hey! Where’d she go? Andel Sanap: The three minutes were up. The sergeant back with us on the Defiant. She’s going to need to get the princess to calm down enough to use another teleport so she can get her a shot of antitoxin. Al Rossi: Let’s get a check in on Chel, who is at this moment… in a taxi? Andel Sanap: Apparently so, Al. The taxi is weaving through the streets, trying to avoid the masses being driven to hysterics and madness from Joker Venom. Chel: Thanks for the lift, honey. Head straight for Wayne Tower and no stopping. Driver: Sure thing, ma’am. Sooo, uh, why exactly were you standing on a street corner dressed…er like that? Chel: Like what? You don’t like how I’m dressed? Driver: Yes. I mean no! I mean er… you look… nice. Chel: Hmm. Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself. Red Claw: Why are you wasting time talking to this imbecile? I told you to go around the attack zone, not go sight seeing through it! Chel: Hey! You said yourself this is the fastest way to the tower! With this set of wheels, I can get through this mess no problem. Driver: Heh heh heh. Chel: Uh, honey? Are you okay? Driver: Heh heh heh heh! Fa fantastic! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Al Rossi: It’s the Joker Venom! The poor guy is going nuts! The taxi is swerving all over the road! Red Claw: Get out of the car! He’s going to…! KRRAAASH!! Andel Sanap: The taxi has gone straight into a streetlight. Our taxi driver is knocked unconscious as Chel is trying pull herself out of the wreck. Red Claw: Chel! What is your status?! Acknowledge! Chel: Hee hee hee hee! Oh lay off, Red Clod! Hahahaha! What a ride! They should have these in El Dorahahahahahadohohoho! Red Claw: Control yourself, you idiot! It’s the Venom! Use your bracelet to teleport me! You need antitoxin or you will lose me this race! Chel: Hahahahaha! Wha whatever you sayhahahaha! Al Rossi: A press of a button and Red Claw beams in. She gives herself a shot of antitoxin then rushes over to Chel’s to give her one. Red Claw: Stay still, you fool! You’ve already cost us precious time! And stop that ridiculous laughing! Chel: Hahahaha! SoSorryhehehehehe!! Andel Sanap: Look’s like Red Claw will have her hands full for a while. Let’s see how Snow White is doing. Snow White: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Al Rossi: Yeah, not so great. Cassie Cage: Snap out of it, Snow! Hit the button so I can help you! Snow White: Who is that?! Who is that talking?! Where are you?! An invisible woman is talking to me!! A ghost is talking to me!! Cassie Cage: I’m not a freaking ghost! It’s me, Cassie! Snow White: Cassie? OH NO! CASSIE’S A GHOST!!! Cassie Cage: Oh for God’s sake! Fine! I’m a ghost. And I’m going to haunt your butt for eternity if you don’t press that button on your bracelet! Snow White: Oh. So if I press this… Al Rossi: A flash of light and Cassie is at Snow’s side. Cassie Cage: Great. Now, just take easy for a sec so I can… Snow White: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Cassie Cage: Hey! Come back here! UGH!!! Andel Sanap: In the Poison Ivy zone, Cinderella’s pace has slowed down. The neurotoxin is getting thicker and we can hear her coughing. She’s dropping to a knee. Cinderella: I… I can’t keep going. Everything’s spinning. Sonya Blade: Hang on, your highness. You’ve waited long enough. Use the teleport! Al Rossi: Cinderella obliges, Sonya beams in and rushes to her side. A quick shot and Sonya lifts Cinderella onto her shoulders. Sonya Blade: We’re just a few blocks away from the edge of this zone. I can get you clear with the time I got left with this summons. Cinderella: What about you? You need the medicine too. Sonya Blade: Don’t worry about me. Just regain your strength until I can get you clear! Andel Sanap: General Blade is moving as best as she can with Cinderella in a fireman’s carry through the chaos. The neurotoxin is starting to let up! Al Rossi: They’ve made it through! Sonya Blade: *cough cough* Are you alright, your highness? Cinderella: Yes, Sonya. You can put me down now. And please take that medicine for yourself. Venom User: RAAAH!! Al Rossi: Oh no. Sonya, you might need a raincheck on that shot! Andel Sanap: They’ve entered the Bane zone. Three Venom enhanced mercenaries are blocking their path! Sonya Blade: Your highness! You’ve got to go! Cinderella: But what about you?! Sonya Blade: My teleports almost up! I’ll hold them off for as long as I can! Now run! Now! Al Rossi: Cindy takes off and the mercs move in, but Sonya charges in with a tackle! Andel Sanap: She won’t hold out long in her weakened state, but hopefully she can at least slow them down until she beams back to the Defiant. Al Rossi: Meanwhile, where’s Snow White and Cassie? Snow White: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Cassie Cage: Will you come back here?! I’m trying to help you! JEEZ!! Andel Sanap: Err, let’s go back to Cinderella. Many civilians infected by Bane’s Venom seem to be more focused on brawling amongst themselves and engaging in property damage than accosting her. Al Rossi: A pair of them go crashing through a store window in front of her! She drops back as broken glass flies past! Now they’ve spotted her! She’s backing off but these two giants aren’t looking like they want to ask her to dance! She’s gotta to summon Sonya! Andel Sanap: But after the neurotoxin and fighting those mercenaries, how can she be in any shape fight these… HOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!! KRRRAASSH!! Andel Sanap: By the Force! Al Rossi: The two freaks menacing Cindy just got hit by a… taxi? Chel: Anybody need a lift? Cinderella: Chel! What are you doing driving that… thing? Chel: Eh, Claw showed me a few things before she got summoned back. You’re welcome, by the way. Cinderella: Oh. Oh yes! Thank you for your help! Chel: No problem. Now we’re even. Cinderella: Even? Chel: Yeah! I save your life, then I win the race! See ya! Andel Sanap: With the sounds like taxi is making, I believe it’s fair to say it’s not going anywhere. Al Rossi: Chel turns the key again, but still no dice. Chel: Come on! What’s wrong with this stupid thing? Cinderella: Still think we’re ‘even’ now? Chel: Um heh heh. Okay. New plan. Gotta run! Bye! Al Rossi: Chel jumps out of the wreck and hotfoots it down the street, Cinderella in hot pursuit! Andel Sanap: Say what you will about Chel’s outfit, but it is certainly less cumbersome in a footrace than Cinderella’s gown. Al Rossi: And they’re going to need all the speed they can get! The Venomed mercenaries have recovered and are stampeding after them! They are getting closer to Wayne Tower, Chel still ahead by a few feet, Cinderella losing her slippers as she tries to keep up! Andel Sanap: There’s the tower! But there are more Venom infected brutes ahead! Red Claw: Use the bracelet! I’ll clear the path! Chel: Do your thing, lady! Sonya Blade: Cinderella! Cinderella: Sony! Are you alright? Sonya Blade: I’m fine! I’ve taken the antitoxin. Teleport me! Now! Andel Sanap: Our two combatants have teleported to the street! Red Claw pulls out a pistol and starts firing at the mercenaries blocking the way to the tower, and General Blade engages the pursuers in hand-to-hand combat! Al Rossi: Cinderella’s caught up to Chel! Red Claw judo throws one the mercs in front of them and the ladies have to dodge out of the way! Chel: Watch where you’re throwing these meatheads! Red Claw: Shut up! I’m the professional! Just win this blasted UGH!! Al Rossi: Oooh! Red Claw got caught! A merc grabbed her by the throat! He slams her on the steps of Wayne Tower! The other brutes surround Chel and Cinderella! Andel Sanap: They have nowhere to go! We might have a draw on our hanBY THE FORCE! Al Rossi: Sonya Blade with the energy rings from above! The mercs are scattering! Chel and Cindy have an opening! They rush up the steps! The door is only a few feet away! They both reach for the door! It’s…! It’s…! Referee: Your winners: Sonya Blade and Cinderella! Andel Sanap: What a finish! Al Rossi: Cinderella is tired, battered and bruised, and her gown now has more than a little wear and tear, but she gets the win for her team! Sonya Blade: Congratulations, your highness! It took a lot of courage to pull this off. Cinderella: Thank you, general. Ha! But I think I’m going to need a holiday after all this running. Chel: Well, I guess congratulations from me too. Cinderella: You were incredible, Chel! It could have gone either way. Chel: Yeah, I guess so. Hey, at least I got some laughs out of it! Red Claw: Ugh, enough of this! You cost me this victory! If you had only followed my orders than we would have…! Snow White: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Red Claw: MMPH!!! Al Rossi: Umm, folks, the sound that you heard was the sound of a Disney Princess on fear toxin running over a terrorist for hire. Cassie Cage: Come back here! I’m going to give you this damned antidote if I have to shove it up your..!!! Sonya Blade: Sergeant, do you require, ahem, assistance? Cassie Cage: Oh no, Mom. I’m fine. You just stand here with these two grinning like idiots while I chase this scaredy cat all over the damn city! Sonya Blade: Alright alright, Cassie. Excuse me, ladies. My daughter and I have work to do. Cinderella: Can I come along? I’d hate for Snow White to hurt herself. Chel: Ah, don’t worry, princess. She’ll be feeling a lot better in a couple minutes. Cinderella: Why do you say that? Chel: Cuz she’s heading straight down the street where all that laughing gas is! Andel Sanap: On that note, I think it’s time to call in the Batman and clean up this mess. Al Rossi: And don’t forget, folks, our next preliminary bout before Battlesphere 2 will be Daenerys Targaryen vs Poison Ivy vs Minerva Mink! And if this contest is any indication, that match is guaranteed to be just as wild! Until then, this is Al Rossi and Andel Sanap saying good night from Gotham! Chel: Does anybody want to check out the town after we corral Snow? Cinderella: Sorry, Chel, but I need to be home by midnight. Chel: You’ve been waiting all night to say that, huh? Red Claw: Uhhhhhhh. Hey! Where did everybody go?

The latest update for Battlesphere 2 has dropped! Jedi Master Andel Sanap gives you a sneak peek at some of the combatants and what is coming up next.

Battlesphere 2 Update #3 Andel Sanap: Greetings, fight fans. This is Jedi Master Andel Sanap speaking. Al has given me this opportunity to reveal to you four more combatants for Battlesphere 2. These will be four of the 15 male combatants entering the match. First, from a galaxy far, far away… Kylo Ren! From my home dimension, the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa will be calling on all the powers of the dark side of the Force to be victorious. A fierce combatant to be sure, who’s rage will make him a dangerous adversary. Next, speaking of violent combatants, will be… Cain! The first murderer, hailing from the Winchesters dimension. Armed with his blade and tapping into the full power of his mark, Cain has been shown to be able to defeat demons and angels in combat. Will he up to the challenge of the Battlesphere? Next, from Sonora, Mexico… Speedy Gonzales! The smallest combatant in the field, but the fastest mouse in Mexico is not one to back down from a challenge. With his speed and Toon physics on his side, Speedy may be the toughest opponent to eliminate from the match. And our final combatant, from an undisclosed location… John Wick! A man some have declared the most dangerous assassin of the 21st century. While not as powerful as some of his fellow combatants, Mr. Wick’s tenacity and killer instinct might just be enough to outlast them and allow him to walk out of the Battlesphere victorious. We have revealed 14 of the 30 combatants entering the Battlesphere this year, but before the battle begins, we have one piece of business remaining. The 6-woman escort match is drawing to it’s conclusion, and there is one more preliminary bout before we proceed to the main event! The three Battlesphere veterans looking for redemption who will be in competition against each other are… Daenerys Targaryen, Poison Ivy, And Minerva Mink! The contest will be taking place within the next few weeks, so be sure to stay tuned. Until then, for Al Rossi, this is Jedi Master Andel Sanap saying, ‘May the Force be with you all.’