Match 9837 Kapri vs. Xros Heart

[Guest callisto]

They call Wednesday the hump, because it always manages to be the hardest day of the week and this one seemed to be living up to that standard already. "Has the jury come to a decision?" Judge Mablean asked. "Yes, of the charge of copyright infringement we find Cody Rhodes innocent!" Duncan MacLeod, the man the jury had chosen to speak for them, spoke without any hint of fear and he was a fool for it. No matter what decision was made, one party would inevitably react violently and by sparring himself the wrath of the son of the son of a plumber he had brought the ire of Victor Von Doom. "This is an outrage!" the armor clad dictator shouted as he blasted the Irishman with a ray of an unknown energy type from his metal gauntlets. Not a second later Doom was floored by the staff of Sun Wukong, the monkey king, who then dragged him out of the court by his head. Doom made no efforts to resist the bailiff but was not silent about as he exited "This isn't over woman! You have not heard the last Doom and neither have you son of Dusty Rhodes!" he yelled. "Would all parties involved in the Kapri vs Xros Heart case now step forward?" Mablean asked with a mild hint of irritation in her voice, one of the lawyers was another from Marvel 616.But first to speak was the dreadlocked Maxine Shaw, the attorney prosecuting on Kapri's behalf. "Your honor, as you can see my client's sister was badly injured in what can only be called an act of excess by the soldier responsible and we demand the Xros Heart army and any other forces involved in its coalition pay in full not only her medical expenses, not only for all damages done to my client's property but also for a new guppy, as poor Marah lost her beloved pet in their cruel, thoughtless, unprovoked, unneeded..."Max's words would be drowned out by the surprisingly loud roar of a small red lizard amongst the defense. "Give it a rest lady! You don't have a leg to stand on and you know it!" he declared before he was lightly kicked by the She-Hulk, the attorney defending Xros Heart. She looked down on him with clenched teeth, trying not to look at the smirking face of Miss Shaw. "Ha, there he is! There is the perpetrator! I have footage proving his guilt!" Maxine declared. "Oh really? Please, do show." Judge Mablean said with an obvious lack of interest. How she missed working in divorce court.Xros Heart had gone to war with the forces of Marah and Kapri on the planet Rock Star. A geological marvel, the planet was constantly monitored by research probes and telescopes, a detail that Marah and Kapri had failed to notice when they chose to setup their base of operation on there but that now seemed to serve them well in this case. I warn you, this tape is graphic, not for the faint of heart." Max said. After ten minutes spent noisily setting up her overhead projector, Maxine Shaw called for the lights to be dimmed and the court was made audience to the image of the same small red lizard bludgeoning Kapri's sister Marah in the head with a microphone stand repeatedly while screaming "Rowdy Rocker!""I didn't even hit her that hard." the lizard muttered as he watched the tape. "That's the problem. We should have just shot them and moved on but no, Taiki had to give humane treatment to those that surrendered." a blond boy behind the lizard whispered. "You two, shut up!" She-Hulk whispered in response. The projector was cut off and the lights returned. Max now pointed to the bandaged Marah. "She's eating through a straw now! Aint got no money for a doctor, no ride home because Xros Heart wrecked every last one, don't look at this as just a lawsuit. Look at it as child charity." Max pleaded."She's old enough to be my mom." A brown haired girl at Xros Hearts bench blurted out. "Yes, the prosecution does make an...interesting plea." Mablean had to admit. "Your ignorance is understandable, my clients aren't human, they just look this way as a defensive mechanism to prolonged exposure to our species but most of the Digimon in Xros Heart could legally be considered adults. It is by the goodness of my client's hearts they declined to press charges regarding violence against minors!" Max explained.Mablean had to restrain herself from burying her head in the podium. There had to be another way to pay the bills. "Your honor, you have to understand that my clients had no way of knowing that detail and it is irrelevant in the face of..." but the She-Hulk could not finish as the lizard would interrupt, believing he was finishing her sentence for her. "They were building an army with intent to launch against the rest of that planet's system. We were just doing our job, following the orders given to us by the empress of good magic!" he yelled. "...thank you Shoutmon." She-Hulk said sarcastically, as she knew where Max would go with that."And who is this Empress of Good Magic?" Max asked rhetorically. "I'll tell ya!" Max had Kapri unroll a large poster that detailed the various regions of time and space and then pulled a laser pointer out of her suit pocket to highlight the relevant parts of it. As you can see, the Empress operates in this part we like to call the 'Bandai' region. Rock Star, where Xros Heart's malicious assault occurred sits firmly in the Nova system of the Nintendo District, far outside of the Empress's jurisdiction. ""Furthermore, there are no laws that I have found against raising an army in the Nova System. These girls were simply thought they were defending themselves against Xros Heart, whose arrival could only be seen as an act of aggression. Xros Heart would then use these defensive actions as an excuse to unleash unneeded brutality. That's called entrapment and it is illegal everywhere people consider themselves civilized." Max explained."Objection! Your honor, Marah and Kapri's forces where engaged in hostilities against a band of Pokémon trainers. They were far from home but are still residents of the Nintendo district. My clients were on a peace keeping mission!" She-Hulk rebutted. "Point taken..." Maxine begrudgingly admitted as she shot an aside glare at Kapri, who forgot to tell her that part "...but the point still stands. Xros Heart were operating well outside of the jurisdiction of an already questionable authority. I don't believe their intentions excuse them from paying for the damages they caused." Max continued.Her eyes remained focused on the scene but Mablean's mind drifted elsewhere as the two lawyers argued at about the different laws of different fantastic places, alien ethics and repeatedly failed to control their vocal clients. "She would have simply hammered the table and called for order but most of this was too far over her head to arbitrarily dismiss. Her bailiff was always there if tensions got too high but even the Monkey King had trouble with some of the people who this court attended too, even more she was missing her straightforward job in divorce court. Her focus returned to the situation at hand as the She-Hulk requested permission to question Kapri, which she granted."Need I remind you that you have sworn an oath to tell the truth?" She-Hulk asked Karpi, who could only glare at Jen for a good minute before answering "No you don't! Those Bible things burn! Look at my hand!" Kapri would hold the seared flesh of her palm up for She-Hulk, and by extension the jury, to see. Normally that alone would be enough to win the case but this wasn't a normal case, not even by 616 standards, so the She-Hulk continued. "Why were you on Rock Star in the first place?" was the first question. "Because our parents kicked us out for betraying our uncle to forces of goodness." Kapri's answer would usually be enough but again, this court was different. "You worked an honest job for many years, why don't you have the money needed to pay your sister's medical bill?" She-Hulk asked. "Because my mom raided our bank account and would not return our money because she said we needed to learn to steal, instead of paying for things." Kapri answered, visibly annoyed with having to explain to She-Hulk what she already knew. Maxine clenched her forehead, realizing Kapri could lose any sympathy she may have gained from the jury if this went on. "Were you not a part of Lothor's army when he moved to conquer Earth?" "That was a long time ago!" "Were you not calling in many of Lothor's affiliates to a planet known to be a classical route to conquering many planets?" "Yes! You can’t prove…" "Is it true you unsealed a great evil in one of the planets deserts?" "That was an accident." "Did you not willingly let this evil join your army?" "Well she was nice enough and knew helped us get more soldiers." "Were you not then intending to in act a raid on other planets with this army before you found the local Pokémon trainers to be easier targets? To prove to your megalomaniac parents you were indeed evil enough to be part of their empire?"Maxine could take no more of it. "Objection your honor!" she yelled. "Put it on hold!" Mablean answered. "Excuse me you honor?" Max had never heard that one before. "You heard me, everyone hold your last thought, write it down and resume later. Court is at recess! I need a drink!" and with that Mablean left the podium. When she was sure Mablean and the jury had left the room, Maxine turned to She-Hulk and taunted. "Give it up Jennifer! You'll never win!" "You disgust me! Why did you agree to work for scum like her?" She-Hulk responded. "Listen, we tried to repent, repentance is hard!" Kapri whined. "See, I told you we should have just shot them." the blond boy muttered. Jen marched back to her clients, yelling at the representatives of Xros Heart. "Despite your best efforts you can still win this suit if you all shut up and let me defend you!" "You know why I agreed to work for them?" Maxine called. "Because even if these children's methods are questionable, I can relate to them, I too wish to take over the world! I wish to be a maverick of change! The money from this case is going into my campaign for alderwoman! Next month New York City will be mine, next year the senate, then the Presidency and finally the world! Empress of good magic Xros Heart works for? Jenny, I will be known as the first Empress of the planet Earth!" "You're joking right?" She-Hulk slapped herself in the forehead."You'll thank me Jennifer when you see I made the world a better place! Isn't that why you wish to take over the Digital World Xros Heart?" Max asked. "That's totally different, we need that crown because the Digital World has been broken into pieces! And we would never work with someone like her to accomplish our goal." the lizard roared. "Really, didn't Nene over there work for the Dark Knight?" Max asked. "He had kidnapped my brother, you just want money!" The brown haired girl yelled. "Oh just admit it, you're not that different." Max insisted.

[Buzz Line]

It's the sequel to Pokémon and Digimon vs Marah and Miratrix. The judge is Mablean, the Bailiff is Sun Wukong, The Monkey King. The prosecuting attorney is Maxine Shaw and the defense is She-Hulk. The jury is you, get to voting.