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*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLANCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Ladybug: NO! CHLOE! Ruby Rose: Ladybug! I’m so sorry. Vinnie: Save your feeling sorry for these 9 creeps! Why don’t you cowards come down here and fight?! Maximillion Pegasus: Sorry to disappoint you, my furry friend. But the 9 don’t need to engage in fisticuffs. But if you boys and girls are really desperate for action… KRACKABOOM! Andel Sanap: By the Force! Al Rossi: What an explosion! It’s Rassilon blasting at our people with his gauntlet! Jareth’s spheres are floating onto the battle terrain and imprisoning the Street Sharks! Andel Sanap: And Mongul and Andrew Ryan are leading a platoon of troopers to surround the rest of our rebellion. Mercy: Ruby! You’re with me! Give the others air support! Ruby Rose: On it! Al Rossi: Mercy and Ruby take to the air! Trini and the Biker Mice are fighting off the troopers. Ruby goes in for a strike on Mongul and he doesn’t even budge! Andel Sanap: Ladybug is being overwhelmed! Trini jumps in to save her! KSSH! Philippa Forrester: Al! Andel! Can anybody hear me?! Vince McMahon: What’s that hack doing on our signal?! Andel Sanap: Miss Forrester! What’s happening? Philippa Forrester: I’m on board the Defiant! Miss America is using her strength and ice powers to breach the hull! We don’t know how long we can… KSSSSH! Al Rossi: Phillipa! Code Independence! Hold out for as long as you can! Philippa Forrester: Got it, Al! I hope it’ll be worth… KSSSSSH! Crowley: Code Independence? What’s that supposed to mean? Maximillion Pegasus: Don’t worry, Crowley. My Millennium Eye will reveal what is in little Al’s mind. Al Rossi: Don’t bother, Cyclops! Unless you tell your boys to stand down, Sisko will be setting the Defiant on a collision course with TCC Arena. Vince McMahon: WHAT?! Andel Sanap: One of Al’s favorite movies is Independence Day. Crowley: You’re bluffing! You wouldn’t send those people and your mic wench on a suicide mission. Al Rossi: They can use their escape pods. And unless you and those slimeballs you have in the audience are ready to start running now, I’d say it’s a good time to tell your forces to take five. David Xanatos: Do as he says. Vince McMahon: Who’s side are you on, Xanatos?! David Xanatos: The 9, and mine. Better to keep the stalemate than risk mutual destruction. Maximillion Pegasus: Hmm. Miss America, return to TCC Arena. Troopers, keep your weapons trained on the rebels. Andel Sanap: Well played, Al. What is our next move? Al Rossi: Yeeeeeah, I don’t have one. Andel Sanap: … You don’t have one?! Al Rossi: Take it easy! I didn’t think we’d have to use Code Independence! David Xanatos: May I make a suggestion? Crowley: Do we have a bloody choice? David Xanatos: Seeing as how we still have an audience ready for some violence, perhaps we can give them what they want and settle this matter once and for all. Al Rossi: We’re listening. David Xanatos: One last battle. One of your rebels against Miss America. If our champion is victorious, your rebellion ends, and all of you will be placed in death matches for our paying customers. Andel Sanap: Careful, Al. Al Rossi: Okay, Xanatos. But if our champion wins, the 9 are done for good! You release Miss America from whatever mind control you’ve put on her, and you are ALL out of the TCC! Maximillion Pegasus: My, my, my. Now this does sound like my kind of game! You’ve got a deal! Crowley: You’re not seriously listening to this garbage?! Vince McMahon: Yeah! Let’s just kill ‘em now! Maximillion Pegasus: SILENCE! I speak for the 9, and it is final! Al Rossi: Okay, down there on the battle terrain! Who is ready for a fight? Ladybug: Let me! I want to make these people pay for what they did to Chloe! Trini Kwan: Sorry, Ladybug. You’re too hurt. I’ll do it. My battles with Chloe are what brought so many viewers to TCC Arena. I’ll gladly fight for her now! KRACKABOOM! Maximillion Pegasus: Brave words, Trini girl. But our champion has just arrived. Miss America, prepare yourself for battle! Show no mercy! Miss America: Understood, Mr. Pegasus. Trini Kwan: I’m ready for you, Miss America. If beating you is what it’s going to take to free you from the 9, then I’ve got a gift from an old friend that’s going to help me do just that! Vince McMahon: What’s that she’s holding? Crowley: Aw hell. Al Rossi: The Green Ranger Coin! Trini Kwan: Sabretooth Tiger! Dragonzord! Unify! It’s Morphin’ Time! HA! Andel Sanap: She has morphed into her combined Yellow/Green Ranger form from her 2nd battle with Miss Bourgeois! Al Rossi: It’s all come down to this! The future of the TCC hangs in the balance! Maximillion Pegasus: Enjoy this battle, gentlemen! It’s the last you will ever call! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! 2! 1! Commence Combat! OK: Click here for the previous battle. Match 18850 Callisto (Xena) and Harley Quinn vs. Chloe Bourgeois - CBUB Rated Matches - The Magnetic Ferret Message Boards Search the tags “Transdimensional Combat Commission”, “Battlesphere Battle Royal”, and “The Bunker” for the other parts of this arc. Miss America is at twice her normal strength, amplified by the Elsa magic she acquired after winning the Battlesphere Battle Royal. Trini Kwan has the combined power of the Yellow and Green Rangers, including their Zords. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLANCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Vince McMahon: Hello, everyone! And welcome back to TCC Arena! Maximillion Pegasus: And The 9 are happy to say welcome back to our dear Vince. Crowley: Yeah. What exactly have you been up to lately, Vincent? Vince McMahon: Haha! Er, thanks for the kind words, gentlemen, but we need to get down to business! Maximillion Pegasus: Yes, indeed we do. After our last battle resulted in Chloe girl being a party crasher**, we decided that if she was so eager to battle, we’d be nice enough to oblige her! Crowley: So now this brat is getting what she deserves: a fight to the death against two ladies who are not only two the baddest birds in the multiverse, but also were doing commentary and interviews in the old Khazan days. The warlord Callisto and the clown girl of Gotham Harley Quinn! Maximillion Pegasus: And with the doubled security here at the Arena, we of The 9 are confident that there is no possible way that Rossi, Sanap, or any of their fellow rebels will be able to interfere with tonight’s battle. A battle that will be taking place on our Mile High Skyscraper map. Vince McMahon: Yes, ladies and gentlemen! The Battle Terrain has projected a 50-floor building in the center of TCC Arena! Our combatants will have to battle their way from the roof to the bottom floor in order to escape. First to eliminate their competition and walk out the front door, wins! Maximillion Pegasus: How exciting! Our combatants have already been teleported to the top of the roof. Let’s send it up to Mongul! Mongul: TONIGHT! THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISION BRINGS YOU A BATTLE THAT PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL THE FUTILITY OF OPPOSING THE 9! THIS BATTLE WILL BE A 2 ON 1 FIGHT TO THE DEATH WITH NO RESSURECTION FOR THE VANQUISHED! Chloe Bourgeois: Oh, enough already! It’s bad enough you losers are forcing me into this totally unfair fight to the death. Do you really have to bore me to death first? Mongul: SILENCE, CHILD! Callisto: Hmm. Feisty. Too bad we have to kill her. Chloe Bourgeois: This is ridiculous! Utterly… ! Crowd: … Chloe Bourgeois: Uh… ridiculous? Hey! Why didn’t you people copy me like you used to? Harley Quinn: Cuz they aren’t here for a singalong, French Fry. They’re here to watch us clobber ya! Chloe Bourgeois: And just why are you two here? I thought you were at least trying to be good guys! Callisto: Ha! Please! Did you really think you could try to take my place in Khazan and get away with it? I was fighting in arenas and doing interviews before you were born! The 9 were willing to pay a large amount for me to tear you apart, but I’ll gladly finish you for free. Chloe Bourgeois: And what about you, Bozo? Harley Quinn: Meh. I could use the exercise. Mongul: ENOUGH! LET THE BATTLE BEGIN! Chloe Bourgeois: Fine! Pollen! Buzz On! Umm, Pollen? Maximillion Pegasus: Oh dear, silly me. I forgot to mention that we swapped out your Miraculous for a fake. Don’t worry, Chloe girl, it’s hidden in the skyscraper and you can use it if you find it. If you live that long! SLAM!! Chloe Bourgeois: Hey! Watch it! Vince McMahon: Haha! Harley Quinn misses with the hammer and Miss Bourgeois leaps to the door to start the fight. Callisto draws her sword and her and Harley give chase! Hey, Crowley. Are the Misfits in position? Crowley: Yeah, yeah. Ready to run interference if necessary. This brat doesn’t stand a chance in… ***KLAXON*** Vince McMahon: What the hell is that?! Screech: Uh, hello? Mr. Pegasus? Can you hear me? Maximillion Pegasus: Yes, Screech. What is the meaning of this commotion? Screech: Oh, it’s nothing! Just the control room is reporting some explosions outside the Arena’s forcefield. Crowley: You prat! We’re under attack! It’s Al and Andel’s idiots! Vince McMahon: Get security out there on the double! Don’t let them in the Arena! Maximillion Pegasus: Relax, boys. By the time our troublemakers get inside, it will be too late for Chloe girl! OK: **To read about how Chloe got caught by The 9, click here! Match 18710 Kylo Ren vs. Reva Sevander - CBUB Rated Matches - The Magnetic Ferret Message Boards As far as this match up, Chloe will need to work her way down the skyscraper, reclaim her Miraculous, and defeat Harley and Callisto to win. If you believe that Al and Andel can get through and stop the fight, that also would count as a win for Chloe. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Maximillion Pegasus: Oh, hello, boys and girls! It’s your old pals, the 9, giving you another thrilling match up! And joining me in the booth today is none other than the most revered Time Lord of Gallifrey, 9 member Lord Rassilon! Rassilon: I trust that this contest will be worthy of our greatness, Pegasus. I’ve found some of these battles to be rather… disappointing. Maximillion Pegasus: Oh, Rassy boy, don’t be like that! I for one got a kick out of seeing LeBron play against Michael. Rassilon: Children’s games. We are the sole providers of combat to the multiverse. Surely, we are capable of more than pathetic displays of human athleticism. Maximillion Pegasus: Hmm. Maybe I should gotten someone else to do commentary with me today. But not to worry! Today’s crowd is filled with hooded and cloaked fans anxious to see a battle of the Dark Side. It’s Kylo Ren vs Third Sister Reva Sevander! Rassilon: Really? I have been meaning to see practitioners of the Force in action. And unencumbered by the codes of these Jedi, I have no doubt we will see their full powers on display. Maximillion Pegasus: Oh yes! One driven by a desire to kill Darth Vader, the other determined to be the next Darth Vader! The makings of a classic! Let’s send it down to the battle terrain and… Rassilon: Pegasus. Isn’t this where you show footage of the combatants getting interviewed by that group of imbecilic women? Maximillion Pegasus: The Misfits, yes. Normally yes, but err… we’ve had a little difficulty. Rassilon: What difficulty? Those fools have managed to bungle every interview they’ve tried to give. What could have stopped them this time? Maximillion Pegasus: Weeeeell, it turns out that when the girls tried to get comments from Kylo and Reva, both of them were in the middle of meditation sessions. When they snapped them out of it, the two were apparently so enraged they proceeded to take their lightsabers and eviscerate the lot of them. Rassilon: Good. Perhaps we can get some capable interviewers next time. Maximillion Pegasus: Sorry, Rassy. They are already getting put back together by Dr. Stockman and …ahem Davros. Rassilon: Hmm. Maximillion Pegasus: …With that said, let’s throw it down to Mongul for the introductions! Mongul: TONIGHT! WE BRING YOU THE BATTLE OF THE DARK SIDE! THE BATTLE TERRAIN HAS BEEN SELECTED! OUR TWO FORCE USERS WILL BE DOING BATTLE IN THE MUSTAFAR FOUNDRY MAP! Maximillion Pegasus: Ooh! With the Vader connection this should prove most entertaining! Platforms, equipment, streams of lava. Probably the most hazardous map we have devised! Mongul: OUR FIRST COMBATANT! REPRESENTING THE KNIGHTS OF REN: KYLO REN! Rassilon: Walking out onto the landing platform, wearing his helmet. He ignites his lightsaber and holds it at the ready. Mongul: AND HIS OPPONENT! REPRESENTING THE INQUISITORIUS: THIRD SISTER REVA SEVANDER! Maximillion Pegasus: An astonishing entrance as Reva uses her double-bladed lightsaber to fly over the battle terrain and land on the platform across from Kylo! She closes it to crescent mode and points the blade at him! Reva Sevander: Once I defeat you, it will prove that I will be ready to take my revenge on Vader! Kylo Ren: Such arrogance. I will make this quick. Maximillion Pegasus: The crowd is clapping and stomping the ground in anticipation! Rassilon: The official is in place! Let the battle commence! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! 2! 1! Commence combat! OK: Kylo Ren (Force Awakens) vs Reva Sevander (Obi-Wan Kenobi pre-Vader fight) Both are at full strength. They are fighting on a map made to resemble the Anakin/Obi-Wan fight scene from Revenge of the Sith. This is a fight to the death. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Crowley: Hello, boys and girls. That’s right, we’re back. It’s Crowley, the king of Hell, and Jareth, the king of hair product. Jareth: Excuse me? Crowley: Oh. I mean, the king of goblins, of course. Jareth: Listen, Cowley… Crowley: That’s Crowley. Jareth: Yes. If I were you, I’d stick to commentating on this battle. I am not in the mood. Crowley: Aww, somebody still salty about being chucked into a bottomless pit by a misshapen Goonie? Jareth: Don’t try my patience, demon! Crowley: Alright, alright. Don’t get your tights in a knot. This match-up should get you in a better mood. Two women who have been called the toughest birds of the 90s: it’s the Slayer Buffy Summers vs the Warrior Princess Xena! Jareth: Hmph. I suppose that may prove… diverting. Two strong spirited competitors, known for battling overwhelming odds. Crowley: Now you’re talking. Earlier today, the Misfits were sent to get an interview with Xena. Here’s what happened when they visited the Warrior Princess’ dressing room. Pizzazz: Hold that camera steady, geek! Screech: I’m tryin’, Pizzazz! It’s heavy! Roxy: You’ll be wearing it on your head if you don’t film us right! Screech: Ok, ok! And we’re rollin’! Pizzazz: Hey, losers! It’s Pizzazz! Here to get you TCC freaks another backstage scoop! We’re about to get a one-on-one interview with Xena! I actually was originally cast to play Xena on the show, but that bimbo Lucy Lawless snaked it from me. Stormer: Oh wow! Jetta: Oh brother. Pizzazz: Clam up! Ahem. I’ll just knock on her door and… Screech: Hey! The door’s unlocked! Roxy: Thanks a lot, Sherlock. Stormer: She must be out training for the fight or something. Pizzazz: This is even better! Come on with that camera, Screech! Stormer: I don’t know if you should be in there, Pizzazz. Pizzazz: Of course I am! I’m an interviewer, right? Like a reporter! I can go wherever I want! Oooo! Get a load of this! Roxy: Isn’t that that frisbee thing Xena fights with? Screech: It’s called a chakram. Pizzazz: No one asked you, creep! I worked with this thing for weeks when I was trying out for the show. Jetta: Ha! Tell another one! Pizzazz: You calling me a liar? Fine! I’ll show you! Ha! SCHWING! Jetta: Hey! Stormer: Watch it! CRASH! CRASH! SCHWING! Roxy: Grab that thing before it wrecks the whole room! Pizzazz: Are you nuts?! I’m not getting standing in the way of that… Stormer: Look out! CLANG! Roxy: Whoa! It’s pinned to the wall! Jetta: By a… stick? Buffy: A stake, actually. Stormer: Whoa! Buffy Summers! Buffy: Yep, that would be me. And who are you people? Pizzazz: I am Pizzazz, and these are the Misfits. Screech: Ahem. Pizzazz: Oh. And Screech. Buffy: Oh, right. You’re the clowns the 9 hired to do the backstage interviews. Roxy: Who you calling a clown, shorty? Buffy: Hmm. Let’s see. Could it be the group of grown women who looked like they stuck their hair in all 31 of Baskin-Robbins flavors? Jetta: Take that back, brat, or we’ll… Xena: What is all this? Stormer: Xena! Screech: Uh oh. Xena: Hello, Buffy. I hope you’re ready for the battle tonight. Buffy: Don’t worry about me. Sorry that your best leather onesie is about to get all messed up. Xena: Ha! You might just be a challenge after all. But speaking of mess, what happened to my room? Buffy: Well, the thing is… Pizzazz: Oh, look at the time! We need to get back to the control room! Move, Misfits! Screech: But what about the interv… Pizzazz: Just shut up and move it! Jareth: And another Misfits interview becomes a disaster. Crowley: Don’t worry, we can pay for the damage to the room by taking it out of their salaries. But enough about the Misfits! It’s almost time for our two ladies to go to war. The battle terrain has already been formatted, and the map has been chosen. It is Sunnydale High, Buffy’s school, but it has been combined with a jungle forest terrain. Vines and branches break through walls and the whole place isn’t looking all that sturdy. Jareth: Moreso the challenge for our combatants. Buffy enters the school from the east entrance, and Xena from the west. Xena has her sword and chakram, and Buffy has her trusty stake and a longsword of her own. And, say, Comley… Crowley: Crowley. Jareth: If this is a replica of Buffy’s school, doesn’t that mean that more vampire hunting weapons are hidden in the library? Crowley: Why of course. The 9 are nothing if not thorough. And here we go! Buffy and Xena have spotted each other. They’re holding their weapons at the ready! Here’s the official! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! 2! 1! Commence combat! Xena: AYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!! OK: Xena and Buffy are at full strength. Xena has her sword and chakram, Buffy has her sword and stake. They are battling in a ruined version of Sunnydale High. First to immobilize their opponent, wins. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Ernie Johnson: Hello, everyone! From Studio J presented by the TCC, welcome to Inside the NBA. Ernie Johnson, alongside Shaq, Kenny, and Charles as we prepare to answer a question that for years now has only resulted in constant internet debate. Charles Barkley: What? Shaq’s acting career? Shaquille O’Neal: Don’t start, Chuck. Ernie Johnson: I’m referring of course to the question of who is the GOAT of basketball: Michael Jordan or LeBron James? From players to fans to pundits everyone seems to have an opinion, but it seemed we would never have an answer of who would win head-to-head. Tonight, Kenny, we’re getting that answer with the assistance of the TCC. Kenny Smith: Yeah, Ernie, it’s crazy to think that we are finally going to see two of the best ever, in their primes, playing 1 on 1. Though there has been some controversy going into this, people talking about how this TCC only set up the game because of bad press they got from recent bad business decisions. But I think the fans are going to see a show tonight and it’s gonna be worth it. Ernie Johnson: Yes, and we’d like to welcome any TCC fans who are watching us for the first time tonight. Charles Barkley: Yeah, shout out to all you geeks out there. Kenny Smith: Oh, come on, Chuck! Why you have to do them like that? Charles Barkley: Like what? Ernie Johnson: Calling the viewers geeks? Charles Barkley: Cuz they are! What would you call a bunch of people watching some French girl dressed up like a bumblebee? Kenny Smith: Oh my God. Ernie Johnson: Before you dig yourself too deep again, Charles, you should know that there is another TCC licensed fighter in the studio right now. Charles Barkley: Well, it isn’t you, you never fought nobody. Shaquille O’Neal: It’s me, bum! Charles Barkley: You?! Kenny Smith: That’s right. That acting career coming through! Charles Barkley: You fighting against Power Rangers and Wonder Woman? Ernie Johnson: Just who have you fought, Shaq? Shaquille O’Neal: Nobody yet, they’re all scared of me. Kenny Smith: Oh, of course they are. Charles Barkley: You’ve got to be kidding! Why is Mr. Sensitive in this thing? Ernie Johnson: One of those ‘geeks’ you were talking about nominated him. Charles Barkley: Seriously? Kenny Smith: Yeah, Chuck, you need to be nicer to those guys. Charles Barkley: Hey! One of you nice geeks nominate me! I’ll get in that TCC and whoop Shaq’s… Ernie Johnson: Anyway, Kenny, how about you go to the board and go over the rules for this game? Kenny Smith: Sure thing. We’ve already said that the TCC has selected Michael and LeBron in their primes. This is a full-length game, four 15-minute quarters with 7 timeouts per half. Another difference is how the game will be officiated. One of the big points people keep bringing up is how fouls are called nowadays compared to Jordan’s era. For this game, the first quarter will be called under modern NBA rules, and the second quarter will be called under 90s NBA rules. So, expect a lot of physicality there. But in the second half, this is where it could get crazy. Because for the second half, the foul calling and rules will be dependent on whoever is in the lead at the time. So, if Michael is leading LeBron, the game will be called by 90s rules and vice versa. Shaquille O’Neal: You get all that, Chuck? What you on your phone for? Charles Barkley: I’m trying to get this guy to nominate me! He won’t until I apologize for insulting Chloe… Bougie? Kenny Smith: I think it’s Bourgeois. Ernie Johnson: Real quick, fellas, who you got for this game? Kenny Smith: Gotta go with Michael. With these rules he could run away with this. Shaquille O’Neal: Kenny, you were saying it could get physical. LeBron has the size advantage, and he has something to prove. He’s been having to deal with people comparing him to Jordan all his life. I think he powers through, and LeBron takes it. Ernie Johnson: And what do you say, Chuck? Shaquille O’Neal: He’s saying nothing! This dummy is too busy trying to apologize to get in the TCC. Charles Barkley: Oh, I’ll be there. And when I do you better watch your back, that’s all I’m saying. Ernie Johnson: Well, it’s just about time for the tip off! Let’s send it to Madison Square Garden and Kevin Harlan to call the action! Kevin? Kevin Harlan: Thanks, Ernie, thanks, guys, and welcome to MSG, ladies and gentlemen! The crowd is buzzing with anticipation. Jordan and James have been warming up and are now we are ready to begin. Both men are at center court! Bruce Buffer with the introductions. Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits TIME! To my left, representing the Cleveland Cavaliers, from St. Vincent-St. Mary High School and Akron, Ohio, number 23: LeBROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES! And to my right, representing the Chicago Bulls, from North Carolina, at guard, 6’6”: MichAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEL JOOOOOOOOOOOORDAAAAAAAAAAN! Kevin Harlan: We are about to witness history, ladies and gentlemen! The two men nod at each other and the official moves in between them with the ball. They crouch down, ready for the tip off. The ball is in the air! We are underway! OK: Jordan and James are both in their primes. Full length game with 7 timeouts per half. 1st quarter: modern NBA rules. 2nd quarter: 90s NBA rules. 2nd half: Whoever is in the lead determines which set of rules will be applied. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Maximillion Pegasus: Hello, everyone! Welcome one and all to TCC Arena! It’s me, your friend Maximillion Pegasus, along with Crowley. I know you are all as excited as we are to bring you another evening of entertainment. Crowley: Yeah, especially now that we’ve taken care of those two meatheads Sanap and Rossi. None of you will have to hear their rambling ever again. Maximillion Pegasus: Well said, Crowley boy! Crowley: Don’t… ever call me that. Maximillion Pegasus: Hmm. As you wish. But for all you good boys and girls out there, we’ve got a special treat for you! In celebration of our first TCC event since the fall of the Bunker, we are going to present a brand-new innovation! Tonight, two groups of kiddies will have to use their courage, strength, and wits in a race against the clock! It’s the Goonies from Astoria, Oregon vs the Hawkins A.V. Club from Hawkins, Indiana! Crowley: The little brats are being teleported to the Gorge now, which has been outfitted by the Nine with a variety of obstacles and a maze they’ll need to overcome if they want to survive. And win, of course. Maximillion Pegasus: Too true, Crowley. And to show you these obstacles, here are our backstage interviewers the Misfits and Screech! Pizzazz: Hey, losers! It’s your favorite rock band the Misfits! Jetta: Can we hurry this up, Pizzazz? Roxy: Yeah! We got better places to be than this dump! Pizzazz: Cool it! We’re here to show these people what the 9 did to spruce up this place! Over here we got our dear friend Screech! Screech: Uhhhh, hi, ladies. Stormer: Screech, what’s with the pads and the football helmet? Screech: Well, Pizzazz and I flipped a coin to decide which of us were going to go into the maze to show it off and I lost. Pizzazz: But you are a good sport, Screech, dear. Jetta: Screech, dear?! Roxy: I think Pizzazz has finally flipped! Pizzazz: Now you go on ahead into the cave and make sure your camera is turned on so we can see what you see. Screech: Are you sure it’s safe for me to go in there? Pizzazz: Sure I’m sure. You’ll do great! Screech: Okay. Here I go! Stormer: What are you being so nice to Screech for, Pizzazz? Jetta: That little toad was the one who ruined our outfits at the last battle! Pizzazz: I know that! You think I’m dumb or something? Do you really think I’d risk having to crawl around an underground maze on a coin toss? Ha! It was a double headed coin I got from Eric! Roxy: Haha! Now you’re talkin’! Screech: Um, Pizzazz? Misfits? Can you hear me? Pizzazz: Oh, we hear you alright. You are coming in loud and clear! Screech: Well, folks, it’s pretty dark in here. The 9 have dug into the Gorge walls and created a whole system of passageways for the victims… I mean, the combatants to get through. Pizzazz: And there are also a ton of traps and surprises in there. And I can show you with this remote here. Let’s see. What does this button do? CRASH! Screech: Hey! Where did that boulder come from?! Jetta: HA! Wicked! Crush the little bugger! Pizzazz: Anyone want to try? Roxy: Let me do it! There! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! Screech: Oh, come on, ladies! Stormer: Look at ‘im run! Pizzazz: That idiot’s heading down the corridor! If I remember right, that should lead straight into… Demogorgon: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Screech: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Pizzazz: The Demogorgon pit. Stormer: Umm…That’s all the time we have, folks! Back to you guys at the desk! Maximillion Pegasus: Ah, it does my heart good to see the boys and girls having fun. Don’t you agree, Crowley? Crowley: As long as we can still put Screech back together again after getting mauled by a Demogorgon. Maximillion Pegasus: But I’ve just been informed that our combatants have arrived at the entrance to the maze. Let’s go to our live feed to watch as they meet the member of the 9 who will be personally overseeing this match up! Mikey: Brand! Guys! Where are we? Brand: Take it easy, shrimp. Is everybody ok? Mouth: Why? If I have a booboo can Stef kiss it to make it better? Stef: In your dreams, loser. Chunk: Guys, this is crazy! We were in Mikey’s living room and then it’s like we were all composted here! Data: Not composted! Teleported! Andy: Brand, I’m scared. Brand: Just everybody quiet! Just give me a second! Mouth: Time’s up! Jerk Alert! Check out the dweebs over there! Will: Umm, who are those guys? Jonathan: Will! Get behind me! Max: Is this place the Upside Down? Dustin: Do those people look like Demogorgons to you? Lucas: They might be Flayed though. Nancy: Whoever they are, this isn’t the Upside Down. Which means we are somewhere completely different. That… doesn’t make me feel any better. Mike: Hey! Who are you? My name is Mike. Mike Wheeler. Mikey: I’m Mike Walsh. These are my friends, the Goonies. Mouth: And we’re not all named Mike, by the way. Dustin: The Goonies? Hey! Isn’t that the movie that came out? Chunk: We’re in a movie? Cool! Jareth: As much as I loathe to interrupt… Lucas: Crap! Where did he come from?! Nancy: Is that…? Andy and Stef: David Bowie?! Jareth: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jareth, and I have brought you here to make you… charming children an offer. Jonathan: How about you offer us a ride back home? Jareth: What? You’ve only just arrived! But I will return you to your normal, mundane lives if you succeed in my quest. Mike: Quest? Jonathan: Mike. Jareth: Why, of course. The entrance of that cave leads to an underground maze. A labyrinth, if you will. Be the first to reach the exit, and I will send you back home. Max: No way! What do you have waiting for us in there? Jareth: Oh, all sorts of gruesome, grizzly things. But more than your freedom awaits you. I understand some of you have a passion for… ‘rich stuff?’ Mikey: Rich stuff? Brand: Mikey. Jareth: Yes, the exit of the labyrinth leads to my hoard of goblin gold. And something even more valuable. To you, at least. Maximillion Pegasus: Jareth pulls out one of his crystals and suspends it in the air. It starts to grow until we can an image inside of it. Two figures, trapped in crystals themselves. As the image gets clearer we can see they are… Mike: El! Chunk: Sloth! Sloth: CHUNK! HELP SLOTH! Eleven: Mike! Mike, where are you? Mike: El, I’m right here! I’m here with the others! We’re coming to get you! Eleven: Mike, help me! Something’s… happening…It hurts! Make it stop! Mikey: What are you doing to them? Jareth: Isn’t it obvious? I’m turning them into goblins. The large, oafish one is practically there already. But the girl. Such spirit. I might take my time with her. Mike: Let her go, you bastard! Crowley: The kid leaps for the crystal but Jareth disperses it. Jareth: Now, now. We must follow the rules. You all play the game, one side triumphs over my labyrinth, and I will release your friend, give you the gold, and send you on your way. If you refuse? I will transform both of your friends and you will be trapped here forever. Mike: You’re on! Come on, guys! We’ve got to save El! Dustin: Right behind you! Chunk: Well? What are you waiting for? Let’s go! Mikey: We’re with you, Chunk! Goonies Never Say Die! Maximillion Pegasus: And our foolhardy children race into the catacombs of Jareth’s new labyrinth. Too bad that both of their friends will be turned to goblins before they can find them. Crowley: Yes, too bad. OK then: Goonies: Mikey, Mouth, Data, Chunk, Brand, Stef, Andy Hawkins A.V. Club: Mike, Will, Lucas, Dustin, Johnathan, Max, Nancy (Season 3 versions) The “labyrinth” is filled with booby traps, Upside Down creatures, and Jareth’s goblins. First team to defeat the labyrinth, find the treasure, and rescue the hostage wins. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Crowley: Hello, boys and girls. Welcome back to the old TCC Arena. It’s your pal Crowley along with Mr. Excitement himself, Andrew Ryan. Andrew Ryan: Where’s McMahon? He was supposed to be here for this. Crowley: You know how it is. Busy schedule. Lot on his plate at the moment. But don’t worry, you blood thirsty lot, we’ve got something good for you this time. An extraterrestrial free for all on the battle terrain. Ten Signmakers against five Death Angels. Heh. Can think of a few flyboys who won’t like the sound of that. Andrew Ryan: For the purposes of this fight, the Nine have implemented a new map and security measures for the battle terrain. To walk you through this set up, here are the Misfits and Mister…. Screech. Screech: Hey, guys! It’s Screech! Know you are all excited to see me! I’m up here in the control room overlooking the battle terrain! The new map looks kinda like a Q*Bert level, a bunch of squares sticking up out of the ground. It’s real neat and… Pizzazz: Oh, get on with it, loser! We don’t have all day! Jetta: Yeah! You let us say something for a change! Stormer: Why did you need us here anyway? Screech: Um…. Yeah. Good question. Oh wait! I remember now! The Nine wanted to show how this new force field works. Let’s see, is it this button ooooor…. This one! ZZZZZZZZZZZ Jetta: Hey! Watch it! Could have fried my hair with that thing! Roxy: With your hair? No one could tell the difference. Screech: You see, folks, with these creepy aliens coming to fight, the Nine want to make extra sure they can’t get out and start eating people. So not only will there be the main force field around the arena floor, there will be this handy force field around this square area. No aliens getting out of that! Pizzazz: Brilliant, Einstein. Now turn off the force field so we can get out of here! Screech: Hmm? Oh! Sure! Let’s see. Huh. Which button is the off switch on this thing? Maybe it’s this one. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Misfits: OWWW!! Pizzazz: SCREECH! TURN THAT OFF! Screech: Whoops! Heh heh. I forgot. The Nine have rigged the cubes in the enclosure to sometimes make that loud noise you’re hearing. The Death Angels really don’t like that. Pizzazz: TURN IT OFF, YOU PENCIL NECKED GEEK! Screech: And neither do Misfits, I guess. Let’s try this button! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Misfits: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Roxy: Kill those sprinklers! Pizzazz: MY HAIR!!!! Screech: And that must be the control to turn on the water jets. Those green guys can’t stand water. Makes you wonder why they’d come to Earth when it’s covered in… Pizzazz: SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!! Screech: Oh! Right! Okay! This must be the button for the force field! Misfits: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SPLAAAAAASH! Screech: Or the button that opens the trapdoor on the cubes. And from the sounds of things, I’ve opened the one filled with water. Ummmm, well, that’s all the time we’ve got! If you’ll excuse me I gotta go find a tech to fix this console and then get on the first bus outta here! Back to you guys at the desk! Andrew Ryan: What a display of incompetence. Crowley: Meh, loosen up, Ryan. The techs got the equipment working again in time for the fight. With Screech… indisposed at the moment, and the Misfits out looking to put his head on a stick, let’s just get our alien guests into their habitat. The Signmakers are entering from one end of the cube, and the Death Angels are being herded into the other. Andrew Ryan: The smaller cubes inside will randomly generate high frequency sound and water at various points in the battle. Some cubes will open up to trap combatants inside in water or surrounded by speakers. And some cubes will open to reveal armaments for our combatants to use against each other. Crowley: The green aquaphobes have numbers, and are more likely to benefit from the weapons, but the Death Angels certainly have size and speed on their side. All I know is it’s going to be bloody and violent; my kind of evening! Let’s get on with it! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! 2! AAAAAAARGH!! Andrew Ryan: And the official is the first casualty as he gets his head ripped off by a Death Angel. Crowley: I knew I was gonna love this one! The Signmakers charge forward, their gas projectors at the ready! This is gonna be a fight to the finish! OK: 10 Signs Aliens vs 5 Death Eaters. They are fighting on a Q*Bert style terrain (cubes set up in various pyramids). The cubes will occasionally project high frequency sound (that can paralyze the Death Angels and leave them vulnerable), and jets of water (which is acidic to the Signs Aliens). The cubes can also open to trap combatants and to reveal weapons. Last alien standing, wins. Game On!

*THE FOLLOWING BROADCAST IS BEING PRESENTED BY THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL COMBAT COMMISSION THROUGH THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE 9. ALL COMBATANTS MUST AGREE TO FOLLOW TCC GUIDELINES AT ALL TIMES. VIOLATION OF GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT, DEATH, AND SUSPENSION. SAFETY OF ATENDEES IS NOT GUARANTEED.* Vince McMahon: Welcome everyone to TCC Arena! Alongside Andrew Ryan, and Crowley, I’m Vincent Kennedy McMahon, here to bring you a battle that only The 9 can produce! After having no fans allowed at our battles a few months ago, purely for health and safety reasons, we are all very excited to have the members of the TCC Universe with us here tonight! Over 20,000 fans have come from all over the Multiverse to see the action! Andrew Ryan: … I was fairly certain there were 10,000 people in attendance? Crowley: Oh, let him go. Vince McMahon: And we sure are going to be giving you action tonight! Now we were originally scheduled to have a multi-person bout between the Avengers and the Justice League. Unfortunately, due to contract disputes, they had to cancel. But instead, we’ve found two teams of superheroes of even greater power and renown: The WildC.A.T.s and Ultraforce! Andrew Ryan: Who? Vince McMahon: Ha ha! Come on, Ryan! You must remember the WildC.A.T.s and Ultraforce! Andrew Ryan: I can’t say that I have. Crowley: They were really big in the ‘90s. Well, marginally big. Vince McMahon: The point is they’re here now! And will do battle for our amazing fans! Fans who would never be caught dead in that ridiculous Bunker of Rossi and Sanap’s! For now, let’s go to the back for an interview with Ultraforce! Take it away, Pizzazz! Pizzazz: So, I said, “If you actually think Jem is a better singer than me, then you must be the dumbest DJ in the history of…!” Stormer: Um, Pizzazz? Pizzazz: Don’t interrupt me, Stormer! So, anyway… Stormer: But, Pizzazz! Pizzazz: WHAT?! Jetta: Don’t look now, luv, but I think we’re on the air. Stormer: That’s what I was trying to tell you! It’s time for the interview! Pizzazz: … Roxy: Psst! Pizzazz! Say something! Jetta: Ha! Should have a camera on her more often! Stormer: Come on, Pizzazz! Tell the fans who you are and who you’re going to be interviewing! Pizzazz: Tell the fans who I am?! They already know who I am! I’m Pizzazz, lead singer for the hottest band in rock n roll, the Misfits! And uh… I’m here… in this… hallway.. to interview… to interview… Roxy: Ultraforce! Jeez, Pizzazz! Ultraforce! Pizzazz: I know that, moron! I’ll just um… knock on the door of their locker room and… Prime: Yes? Jetta: Whoa! Now we’re talkin’! Look at the size of this one! Roxy: You’re nuts, Jetta. He’s looking at me! Jetta: In your dreams, Yank! Pizzazz: All of you shut up! I’m trying to run an interview here! Prime: Um, can Prime help you ladies? Pizzazz: Huh? Oh yeah. We were…. I mean, I was… I mean the fans were… Stormer: She means, is your team ready for your fight with the WildC.A.T.S tonight? Prime: Oh. Well, we will be. As soon as Ghoul gets here. He’s running late. Stormer: Ghoul? Pizzazz: Ghoul? Ghoul: Hey, big guy! Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner! Traffic was murder! The Misfits: … AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Ghoul: Huh. What got into them? Have they never seen a dead guy before? Prime: Don’t sweat it, Ghoul. Get in here. Hardcase is going over the strategy. Vince McMahon: Uh, ha ha. Thank you, Pizzazz and the Misfits for that… inspiring reporting. Crowley: I know what it inspired me to do. Find the nearest bathroom and throw up. Vince McMahon: Then come right back to your seat because it’s time for tonight’s main event! Take it away, Bruce Buffer! Andrew Ryan: Excuse me, Vince. Vince McMahon: What now? Andrew Ryan: We actually were unable to get Mr. Buffer to the Arena. Vince McMahon: Then who’s doing the announcing? Screech: Hey everybody! It’s me, Screech! The battle terrain’s chosen that these lucky contestants will be fighting in this farm map. Winner will be the team that takes down all it’s opponents. Unless they chicken out. Get it? Cuz it’s on a farm? Oh well. It’s time for us to start the fight! So uh…. Coming to the ring first, we’ve got those cool cats, the WildC.A.T.S! Crowley: Where did you find this loser? Andrew Ryan: I didn’t. He volunteered. Would you rather it were you down there? Vince McMahon: Moving along, here comes the WildC.A.T.S! Spartan flies over the fields as Maul, Voodoo, Grifter, Zealot, and Warblade move out along the map. Void takes her place in their corner. Screech: And here are the guys they’ll be fighting! From… somewhere. It’s Ultraforce! Vince McMahon: The lovely Contrary hangs back as Hardcase, Prime, Prototype, Topaz, Ghoul, and Pixx enter. With Contrary and Void both providing tactical support for their teams, who has the advantage here, Ryan? Andrew Ryan: I would say… Vince McMahon: Sorry to interrupt, Ryan, but the official is in position. This battle of ‘90s super teams is about to begin! Referee: Combatants ready? 3! 2! 1! Commence combat! OK: WildC.A.T.S: Spartan, Void, Voodoo, Maul, Grifter, Warblade, and Zealot. Ultraforce: Hardcase, Contrary, Pixx, Prime, Ghoul, Prototype, and Topaz. All are their cartoon versions at full strength. Location: A farm. Whoever immobilizes the opposing team, wins. Game On!