Guest Culwych Posted June 28, 2009 Read Aloud Posted June 28, 2009 Not sure I've done this right, but can edit as I go along. This character was a lot more powerful before I read the actual FPL rules, so here's a dubbed down version of my villain. Hope you all enjoy: NameAmhotep Neb-Osir, The Master Of Pain Pic OOC HistoryJust wanted someone completely mad, and evil as well. Enjoy! PersonalityAmhotep Neb-Osir speaks rarely and when he does, his voice is rasping and whispery. His main interests in life are to find new ways of torture and causing pain, and his eternal quest to find his lost love, Safiya. He has no remorse, pity nor mercy in his being and anyone in his presence for more than ten minutes will soon find that any attempts at conversation are quickly turned to the best torture methods or how to break a person’s spirit. Amhotep is condescending and has an air of superiority, even when dealing with his employers and colleagues and as such, has few friends. Fictional Character Biography Planet Earth: The year is 9882 BC, the year of Pharaoh Sethos III, undisputed ruler of the massive Egyptian Empire. He rules his lands with an iron fist, and no one is safe from his frequent raids. He sees plots and treason everywhere, and is constantly convinced that there will be an attempt on his life. Men, women and children are seized randomly in the night and tortured to extract any unpatriotic feelings or beliefs and the population lives in fear. Leading these raids and torture is the Master Torturer, Amhotep Neb-Osir and his cold eyes and expressionless face are the stuff of nightmares in Egypt. Constantly surrounded by the Pharaoh’s personal guard, he could condemn to death with but a glance and, next only to the Pharaoh, his word was law. His raids took place as much as night as during the day, innocent people being dragged from their houses or beds by huge guards shouting false accusations, never to be seen again. And it was only Amhotep that knew the true meaning behind the raids. --------------- It had always been about the pain. The exquisite pain that he caused, the emotional helplessness that he saw in his victim’s eyes, the raw agony in their expressions and the eventual crushing of their spirit. He did not know where this passion came from, but it was the only thing that could ever stir any life in his dry, empty heart. And he was certainly good at his job. People would crumble under his expert administrations, and he found that he could inflict pain on more than just a physical level. Emotional and intellectual torture were but some of the arts that he perfected and soon he began to crave the next victim and the new ways of inflicting pain that he could come up with. He captured the Pharaoh’s attention when he was swiftly promoted through the Torturer’s ranks, showing an unmatched enthusiasm and dedication to his work. Before long, he was Master Torturer and had a direct hand in the state affairs. He quickly learned that by a simple word in the already paranoid Pharaoh’s ear, he could have a whole new fresh batch of subjects for his cruel experiments. And so began the terrifying raids of ancient Egypt where thousands were swept away in a tide of agony….. --------------- But then an event came about that would change the destiny of many worlds forever; The Pharaoh remarried. Safiya was from a neighbouring kingdom. She was petite, with youthful features and black hair that fell to her waist. To say she was beautiful would be like calling the sun a bit bright; it did her no justice. The Pharaoh was instantly besotted with her, and paid a small fortune to her father for the dowry. Amhotep knew nothing of the betrothal, intent only in his own studies of torture, and indeed even if he had known it would have made little difference to him. But then one day he met the beautiful princess… The stars were high in the sky and the moon a translucent crescent. Amhotep Neb-Osir walked through the palace gardens, lost in thought as usual. Suddenly he heard a noise, a squeal that caught his attention instantly. He knew that sound. It was all too familiar and stirred something in his soul… it was the sound of pain. He walked towards the sound and was surprised to find a young lady sitting amidst the flowers of the royal palace, her back turned to him. He looked around for the source of the pain, but could see only the young lady, so bending over slightly he asked her: “Who are you?†She turned her face towards him and Amhotep found himself gazing into large, innocent eyes that gazed into his soul. He stepped back a moment, then caught himself. She was beautiful! But it was not her beauty that captivated him, it was the fact that she had a royal snake in her hands, a knife embedded deeply in its side. The snake squirmed in agony, but she held it tightly whilst it slowly bled to death. Slowly she lifted a blood stained finger and looked at it with interest. “I am the Queen. You are Amhotep the Torturer are you not?†He could but nod. “I have been meaning to meet you since I first arrived in the palace Amhotep. Come and sit…†He obeyed and they talked through the night. Amhotep soon discovered that underneath the innocent and beautiful exterior, Safiya held a heart as dark and corrupted as his own. She relished torture and agony, and whilst he saw it as an art form, she saw it as a means of control and power. The beautiful Safiya was anything but ambitious. The next night they met in the same spot once again, and this time Amhotep talked about himself. He had had a regular servant’s childhood and upbringing, and he didn’t know where his passion for pain had come from. His parents had been quiet, upstanding citizens and he had suffered neither abuse nor neglect as a child. “I amazes me how much we are alike†said Safiya, slightly upturning her head to look up at Amhotep. He noticed how delicately carved her nose was, and then their lips met. For the first time since he could remember, Amhotep found pleasure in something other than pain. --------------- Their secret relationship lasted for four months, meeting in empty gardens or in Amhotep’s modest quarters, and they delighted in their own love and the pain of captured citizens. They played the Pharaoh together, increasing his paranoia and bringing more and more innocents to their torture chambers. It was a match made in hell, and the population of Egypt suffered like never before. But it was too good to last, and in a terrible twist of fate, they were caught. The wrath of the Pharaoh was unimaginable, and he descended upon the two with all his guards. They were separated in the midst of the night, and brought kneeling to the Royal Chambers. Pharaoh Sethos looked at them with madness flaring in his eyes… “You….. How dare you?†When neither answered, he cast his judgement. “Take Amhotep to the dungeons, I will come down shortly.†This was the last that Amhotep would ever see of his beautiful lover, and the pain tore at him like nothing he could have imagined. --------------- Once in the dungeon, the Pharaoh smiled at Amhotep. “You will suffer for what you have done Amhotep Neb-Osir. You will suffer like no one has ever suffered before, and once you are done suffering… you will suffer all over again!†The Royal Vizir, a powerful sorcerer, entered the room carrying a role of papyrus. “I have done as you instructed oh wise Pharaoh, and the spell is ready.†“Then cast it at once!†The Vizir drew a circle around the Master Torturer, complete with ancient sigils long forgotten to the world of man. He started incanting an old spell, reworded and bound with the might of all the Egyptian Gods. It closed about Amhotep like a vice, pinning him in place and slowly he felt a mighty force pushing him into the ground. It pushed and pushed and he felt as though every bone in his body were breaking, but still the force kept pushing. Eventually, it stopped and Amhotep looked around him. The Vizir and the Pharaoh were still there, both with a curious expression upon their faces. “Did it work?†asked the Pharaoh “I believe it did oh mighty Lord.†“We shall see.†--------------- They bound him to his own torture rack, and the other torturer’s entered. With knives and hammers they worked on him, hour after hour, day after day, until he could no longer even scream. He was but the remains of a man, without hands or feet, without a tongue or eyes and all he could feel was pain and all he could do was wait for the release of death to finally ease that pain. It never came. With horror, Amhotep discovered that his body was slowly re-growing, his eyes forming once again in his face, his tongue in his mouth and his other extremities as well. A day later he was fully formed, and the torturers entered the chamber. They started all over again. --------------- Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and months to years, and not a single day without excruciating agony. Then one day, a visitor came. A boy of no more than twelve and he looked at the battered, dribbling wreck that was Amhotep. “My father is dead.†said the boy, looking at the former Master Torturer with disgust. “Who…†Amhotep could not form the words. “My father, the late Pharaoh Sethos III passed away last night. I am Sethos IV and my father had very specific instructions about you.†The boy pulled out a roll of paper. “You are to be a reminder of what it means to betray a Pharaoh, you will be an example to all those who dare, you will remain here forever Amhotep Neb-Osir, where everyday you will feel the blade, the hammer or the fire. As long as Egypt prevails and has Pharaoh’s, they will heed these words and carry on the legacy which you bought yourself with your betrayal.†The boy finished reading and looked again at Amhotep. He then smiled and without a further word, turned and walked out of the room. The torture restarted and Amhotep screamed an endless scream. --------------- He didn’t know how much time passed, for years soon merged into decades and decades to centuries. Everyday it was the same, without change, only endless agony. Everyday Amhotep begged his captors to kill him, to stop the pain, even just for a day. They never listened and he carried on healing from terrible wounds that left no scars. Soon Amhotep found himself actually waiting for the next amount of pain, indeed, even beginning to enjoy it. He would recommend new ways for his torturers to hurt him, and then compliment them if they had done a good job. Pain was his only world, and he would devise crueller and more vicious ways to do harm in his mind, withdrawing further and further into his own mad world which no one could comprehend. Then one day, Amhotep realised something. The Pharaoh Sethos III had cast some sort of spell on him to keep his soul harnessed to his body, but he could not have prevented the soul from dying. Only the Gods had that sort of power. Amhotep looked deep within himself and realised that it was true… he was already dead! Amhotep Neb-Osir was haunting his own body! --------------- When the torturers entered the next day he laughed in their faces as they tried to harm him. With a mighty heave, he broke free from his shackles and touched each of his tormentors in turn. They found themselves paralyzed, unable to break free and Amhotep began the torture. After a mere few hours, he had broken their spirits and left them drooling and mad in the dungeon, trapped in their own bodies. No one knew the intricacies of agony like the Master of Pain. Amhotep Neb-Osir strode out of the dungeons a free man, and once out, standing for the first time in centuries in the open sands of Egypt, he drew all his power to him and released it in one massive blast. The whole of Egypt, from slaves to the Pharaoh himself, was paralysed. It took 10 years, but eventually, Amhotep Neb-Osir, once the Master Torture and now the Master of Pain brought hurt and agony to every single inhabitant of Egypt. No one was spared, and in the end, only broken bodies, mad beyond belief, were left. --------------- Egypt: Year 2009 BC As the last man, the Pharaoh, cried as the fires burned his feet and the blades sliced through his fingertips, a great quiet fell upon Egypt. Amhotep looked up from his grizzly work and saw a figure descending from the heavens. It was clothed in a flowing black robe, which hid its features completely. “AMHOTEP, YOU MUST STOP THIS AT ONCE!†The voice was neither male nor female, and echoed across the sands. The Master of Pain narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?†“I AM DEATH, AND YOU CANNOT DENY ME ALL THESE SOULS.†“Death?†Suddenly hate seemed to burn in Amhotep’s eyes, flaring like wildfire. “Death? You turned your back on me during my centuries of torture, and now you dare to demand anything of me?†He shook with rage, and his power seemed to be everywhere at once, beating in the air like the wings of a giant bird. Death took a step back in front of the unknown. Suddenly Amhotep rushed forward and touched Death’s hand. His power flowed out, deadly and unrelenting, focused and driven by the hate and madness buried within the Master of Pain. And Death was paralysed. --------------- The torture lasted a thousand years, with Amhotep pushing himself beyond the realms of the endurable just to harm Death. If he had outside help, he was unaware of it, but Death screamed just as he had done; every single day. It was in the 1000th year that Death finally broke, His/Her spirit descending into madness. “Where is Safiya?†asked Amhotep for the millionth time. “I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW! ARRRGGGHHH!†Amhotep slumped back. He was a Master of Pain, the Master Torturer, so knew when a soul was broken, and Death’s was most definitely broken. Yet still He/She refused to say, or perhaps truly didn’t know. Could the Pharaoh Sethos III have hidden both Amhotep and Safiya from Death? Was she still alive or undead? Could he once again meet her? With a single gesture, Amhotep released Death, who crawled away from him on hands and knees. He pointed at Death, and Death cringed away. “You will never come for me, never even dare to approach me, is that understood?†“YES MASTER TORTURER, THANK YOU MASTER, I WILL NEVER COME FOR YOU!†Amhotep then released Death, who will never come for him. --------------- Amhotep’s rage abated, and he turned his mind back to his one true pleasure: Torture. He found that he could travel wherever he wished, and soon found his way to other planets and amidst other civilisations. Wherever he went, he brought agony and pain with him and no one was safe from his endless quest. He now hires himself out to Kings, Lords and Emperors, whoever pays him well and brings him a fresh supply of people to torture. He is constantly looking for Safiya, but no one has yet given him even a clue of where she is. From one side of the galaxy to the next, there are few names as feared as Amhotep Neb-Osir, the Master Torturer. The Quick & Dirty Description In ancient Egypt, Amhotep Neb-Osir was the master torturer for the paranoid Pharaoh Sethos III. In truth, Amhotep fed the Pharaoh more and more lies in order to gain more people to conduct his terrible torture on. But, despite all likelihood, the evil Amhotep falls in love with the Pharaoh’s latest bride, the lovely and equally sadistic Safiya. It’s like a match made in hell. Unfortunately, they are discovered and Amhotep is taken to his own dungeons and handed over to the Torturers, but not before the Pharaoh casts a spell on his soul so that it cannot leave his body. He is to endure pain for eternity! And so he does…. Thousands of years pass with Amhotep stuck in his own body, being tortured every day by a succession of different torturers and Pharaohs. It would be enough to drive anyone mad. Eventually the spirit of Amhotep realizes that whilst it is trapped within it’s own body, it is also dead and the torturer’s can do no more harm to it. He breaks free and with a new found power, paralyses the whole of Egypt. He then sets to work torturing each and every person, though never allowing them to die. Death, annoyed at being denied so many deaths, approaches Amhotep, but finds him to be too powerful. With but a touch he paralyses Death, then tortures Him/Her as well! Amhotep is now unalive. He cannot be killed because Death will never again approach him, and he is neither alive nor undead. He currently hires himself out to whoever needs an expert torturer and is constantly looking for a way to bring Safiya back. What exactly has happened to her, no one knows. Powers and Abilities Amhotep Neb-Osir will usually avoid combat if possible, but if forced can prove a terrible foe. His main power is his Paralysis attack, which completely freezes a person and anchors their spirit to their body. This can be used over a large amount of space and at will. He does not need to be able to see his opponent, nor touch them. Once paralysed, Amhotep will employ his tremendous knowledge of pain to break the opponents spirit. How long this takes depends on the power of the subject. For example, a mere human he can subdue completely in less than an hour, reducing them to complete and utter madness. More powerful beings can take longer, as with Death, who he took nearly 1000 years to break. If broken, the subject will submit to any of Amhotep's wishes and commands and will even fight to the death to serve their "master". In addition, Amhotep is resistant to a degree to both mental and physical attacks, being both completely mad and feeling no pain. If an attack is enough to kill him, he will collapse, but will start regenerating immediately. Because Death will never come for him, his body will eventually regenerate completely around his spirit which can never be destroyed. EquipmentApart from his torture equipment which Amhotep is rarely seen without, he had no other notable equipment. ---------------Power points - 250 Points: Mind: Standard (0)Body: Superior (25)Strength: Weak (0)Agility: Superior (0) Paralysis Ultimate: 100Area Effect: + 10Multi Attack: +10Armor Piercing: +10Ranged: + 10(Total: 140) Mental Defense (standard): 25Regeneration (standard): 35Iron Will (standard): 25 Quote
treacherous Posted June 29, 2009 Read Aloud Posted June 29, 2009 Anybody got time for reviews in the review section. Newbies need love to. Quote
Guest Houdinimachine Posted June 29, 2009 Read Aloud Posted June 29, 2009 Amhotep is... kind of one dimensional. Don't get me wrong. It's hard to write decent villains. They're, after all, supposed to be evil. But, there's no twist here. We're never told WHY he is such a bastard. I'm assuming he's a psychopath or a sociopath, but I'm only guessing. Between the complete lack of humanization and the munchkinism (He tortured Death? Really?), I don't really see the character doing very well. Quote
Nesh Posted June 29, 2009 Read Aloud Posted June 29, 2009 The writing is amazing, characterization is a bit lacking though. On the plus side that was the most sadistic bastard I've ever had the pleasure of reading about. I'm assuming our beloved unfaithdul queen is Rasa Sayang, our team leader in another form. I come to this conclusion because finding two people that sadistic in human history period would be tough, let alone the same place and time. This would also explain why he can't find her. All I can really offer is that you should make him deeper. Admin Edit: No need to quote the entire character when you're response is three lines. Quote
Guest silversurfer092 Posted June 30, 2009 Read Aloud Posted June 30, 2009 I'm assuming our beloved unfaithdul queen is Rasa Sayang Safiya != Rasa Sayang. Quote
treacherous Posted June 30, 2009 Read Aloud Posted June 30, 2009 Safiya != Rasa Sayang. Yep, I'd run with that. Quote
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