SSJRuss Posted April 14 Read Aloud Posted April 14 The Loser’s Club Part 14 Previously - Part 13 Part 11 -- Back in Ernest's FLASHBACK Now I ain’t sayin’ I’m the toughest fella in the multiverse, Vern, but when push comes to shove, I got a way of… improvisin’. You see, them criminals threw a snake at me! A purple snake—Arnold, I think they called it!! Anyway, it came slitherin’ at me with its hood flared like it was tryin’ to win a county fair ribbon. And that other guy threw a big ol’ plant thing at me that was ready to chomp on me like I was a rare steak. Dangerous situation I found myself in. “Now hold on just a doggone minute!” I hollered, backpedalin’ toward Big Bertha. “Y’all are makin’ a mighty big assumption about my cargo!” They didn’t listen. Course they didn’t listen. Folks never do when they’re dressed like stage performers. That’s when I did what any responsible delivery driver would do. I popped the back latch. Now see, Vern, MPS trucks? They got all sorts of packages. Some of ‘em labeled. Some of ‘em… hard to read. And when that door swung open, well—let’s just say I mighta loosened a crate or two on purpose. Makes them easy for movin' around. Anyway, boxes came tumblin’ out like a clearance sale gone wrong. One burst open and shot out a cloud of glitterin’ dust that choked Arnold good. The plant got squashed by a box of wind-up toys. “Ha-HA!” I shouted, pointin’ like I knew exactly what I was doin’. “You boys ever heard of defensive parcel deployment?!” Truth be told, I had made that up. They didn't know that. But it worked all the same. I scrambled back into the driver’s seat and slam the door. “Hang on, Bertha!” I said, crankin’ the engine. Just as I hit the gas, their cat leapt right onto the hood, starin’ at me through the windshield. “You ain’t gettin’ away that easy!” “Well I’d like to respectfully disagree!” I said, swervin’ the truck left and right. That cat held on longer than I expected, but one good bump sent him flyin’ off road. I thought that was the end of it, but I hadn’t gone fifty yards before I heard sirens. Bright red lights lit up the road behind me, and I thought, Well Ernest, this is it. They finally caught up with all them overdue library books. But no sir, turns out it was S.P.D. They were here for the criminals! They rolled in fast and those Rocket guys started running. They didn't get far before the Rangers slapped cuffs on 'em. “Ha! That’s what you get for messin’ with federal postage!” I hollered, leanin’ out the window. Course, that’s when things got complicated. See, I didn’t exactly stop drivin’. And wouldn’t ya know it, the road ahead just… wasn’t there anymore. Instead, there was this big ol’ pipe. Wide enough for a truck, sure—but it was glowin’. Not in a good way neither. More like a “you’re about to regret this” kinda glow. I hit the brakes but it was too late and Bertha got stuck down here with me. Then I got lost and well... the rest is history. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ --Mushroom Kingdom Ernest blinked, finishing his story with a slow nod as he took another bite of mushroom. “And that, my large green friend, is how I ended up here. One wrong turn, and whoosh—next stop: Mushroomville.” Shrek stared at him for a long moment, chewing thoughtfully. “Sorry I asked." Shrek and Ernest leaned back against the stone wall, staring up at the castle ceiling. Shrek huffed, “…I miss my swamp,” he muttered. “Fiona, Donkey… even that loudmouth cat.” He rubbed the back of his neck, annoyed with himself. “Should’ve just gone into that Mr. Clean office when I had the chance. Instead I go pokin’ around that gym and next thing I know, I’m dealin’ with a fire-breathin’ turtle and his brat kid.” Ernest perked up at that. “Mr. Clean?” he said, pointing a thumb at himself. “Hey now, I know that guy. I work for him! Do a little delivery under the table when Multiversal Postal Service falls short, knowwhatImean?” Shrek gave him a sideways look. “You’re serious?” “Yes sir, capital S serious. If I know Mr. Clean—and I do, on account of employment—he’s probably already got folks lookin’ for me.” Ernest gave a confident nod. “Us, I mean. Yes sir. Which means we'll be outta here before you know it.” Shrek snorted. “Yeah? Well he better ship express. I'm getting sick of shrooms.” ______________________________________________________________________________________________ --Far, Far Away Donkey’s hooves pounded against the dirt path as he sprinted toward the castle, his breath coming in short, panicked bursts. “Fiona!!!! Puss!!!!! We got a serious problem!” he shouted, skidding around a corner and narrowly avoiding a startled goose. Donkey had been near the edge of the forest when he heard the commotion of booms and blasts and strange voices, followed by the unmistakable crack of a trees falling. Naturally, curiosity got the better of him (it always did), and he’d crept closer, hiding behind bushes to get a look. That’s when he saw him. Lord Farquaad, standing smugly in the clearing, alive and as short as than ever. “Oh, come on!” Donkey muttered to himself at the time. “Didn’t we deal with this guy already? Like, turned-him-into-ghost-jelly kinda dealt with him?” From the looks of it, he had some big scary backup. One of them was a pale, hulking figure with veins popping out of his arms. The other looked like he’d come straight out of a graveyard. Like some kind of... Undertaker! “Fiona will know what to do,” Donkey told himself as he galloped up the castle steps, his panic rising. “Or Puss. Puss always has some crazy plan. Maybe they got some kind of magical sword or something tucked away for emergencies like this.” He burst into the throne room, gasping for breath. Fiona and Puss were already there, deep in discussion. Maybe they heard the commotion too? Fiona turned sharply at the sound of Donkey’s entrance. “Donkey! Where have you been? Have you seen Shrek?,” Fiona asked, her voice laced with frustration and worry. “No time for that, princess!” Donkey panted, waving his hooves around wildly. “Farquaad’s back! And he’s got some serious muscle with him. I’m talking big, scary dudes who look like they bench-press mountains!” Fiona's expression shifted from frustration to concern. “Farquaad? Are you sure? He’s supposed to be—” “Dead? Yeah, tell me about it, girl! And yet, there he was, strutting his short self around like he’s ready to take over the kingdom." Puss in Boots stepped forward, one paw resting on the hilt of his rapier. “This is troubling news indeed. If Farquaad has returned, it cannot be a coincidence. Perhaps these invaders are the ones who took Shrek?” Fiona’s eyes narrowed. “If they know where Shrek is, they’ll answer to me.” She grabbed her bow from the table beside her, strapping the quiver to her back with practiced ease. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up!” Donkey interjected, his voice rising. “We can’t just go charging in there! Did you hear the part about the scary dudes? Big scary dudes?” “Donkey,” Fiona said firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Shrek's been missing for days. Meaning he's probably in danger. I’m not going to sit here and do nothing while Farquaad plots to take over again. If you’re scared, you can stay here.” “Stay here?” Donkey’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What kind of donkey do you think I am? I’m coming with you! I’m just saying, maybe we should, I don’t know, come up with a plan? Roll up with a squad, know-what-I'm-saying?” Puss unsheathed his sword with a dramatic flourish, his hat tilted just so. “The plan is simple: we find them, we fight them, and we make them regret ever setting foot in this kingdom.” Donkey groaned. “Why do I even bother with you two? Fine! But when I end up squished flatter than a pancake, you’re explaining it to Dragon!” The three of them set out together, following the trail of destruction in the forest where Farquaad and his new lackeys had set up their base of operations. When they reached the edge of the camp, Donkey’s heart sank. Farquaad stood in the center, flanked by the two giants. Spopovich cracked his knuckles, his grin as wide as ever, while The Undertaker adjusted his hat. They were rounding up citizens by the looks of it. Fiona didn’t hesitate. “Hey!” she shouted, stepping out from the treeline with her bow already drawn. The string creaked under the tension as she aimed straight for Farquaad’s smug little face. “Let them go.” Farquaad turned, hands clasped behind his back like he was out for an evening stroll instead of orchestrating a takeover. “Princess Fiona,” he said, like he was uninterested. “How predictable. I was wondering how long it would take for you to come running back to me.” Puss stepped forward beside her, blade catching the light. “You will release these people immediately, señor… or things will become unpleasant.” “Unpleasant?” Farquaad scoffed. “Oh no, I assure you, this is already quite unpleasant… for them.” He gestured lazily. Spopovich tightened his grip on a struggling villager and slammed him back into the dirt without even looking. The man didn’t get back up. Donkey flinched. “Okay, yeah, I don’t like that. I really don’t like that.” The Undertaker took a single step forward, and it was like the temperature dropped with him. His shadow stretched unnaturally long across the ground, swallowing up the firelight around the camp. He didn’t say a word. He just stared at them. Fiona let the arrow fly. It screamed through the air, but was then caught by Spopovich. He snapped it in half between two fingers. “…Well that’s new,” Donkey muttered. “Get behind me,” Fiona said, already pulling another arrow. Puss didn’t wait. He surged forward in a blur, darting low and fast, boots kicking up dirt as he closed the distance with impossible speed. “En garde!” His blade flashed toward Farquaad, but was intercepted by The Undertaker, who stepped in the way and in one gloved hand caught the rapier mid-strike. The steel didn’t budge. Not even a little. Puss’s eyes widened. “…Madre de Dios.” The Undertaker tilted his head. Then swung. Puss barely twisted out of it, the blow tearing through the space where he’d been and splitting a tree behind him clean down the middle. Fiona loosed another arrow—then another—forcing Spopovich to step back as they exploded against his chest in bursts of splintered wood. He laughed. Laughed. “Oh I like this one!” Spopovich bellowed, cracking his neck. “She fights!” “Yeah well she wins too!” Donkey shouted, immediately ducking as Spopovich charged. Donkey bolted sideways. “Nope! Nope nope nope—big man comin’, big man COMIN’—!” Spopovich swung. Donkey dove. The punch cratered the earth where Donkey had just been standing. Fiona dropped her bow and charged Spopovich head-on, colliding her shoulder into him. He shifted backward and she followed up with a right fist. Her fist cracked against his jaw, but it barely turned his head. His grin only widened. Fiona backed away, meeting with Donkey and Puss. “This is… not ideal,” Puss muttered, adjusting his footing. Farquaad watched it all unfold, completely unbothered. “Such spirit,” he said, smiling thinly. “It will make your deaths all the more satisfying.” Donkey scrambled up beside Fiona, panting. “Okay! We need a new plan!” “Donkey,” Fiona said, turning to Donkey. “…Yeah?” He met her gaze. “Don’t run.” Donkey blinked. “…I’m gonna need a little more than that.” Fiona cracked her knuckles. “Because if they took Shrek…” Her eyes locked on Farquaad. “…we’re not leaving here without answers.” This is a Three on Three match-up. For Fiona and her team to win, they need to set the prisoners free and escape and atleast beat 2 out of the 3 opponents. For Farquaad and his team to win, they need to either kill or capture 2 out of the 3 opponents. Quote
Callisto Posted April 14 Read Aloud Posted April 14 Learn More About Spopovich Read more about Spopovich at Wikipedia Official Site: Funimation Links: Wikipedia Giant Bomb Dragonball Wiki Lord Farquaad Read more about Lord Farquaad at Wikipedia Official Site: DreamWorks Animation Links: Wikipedia WikiShrek DreamWorks Wiki The Undertaker Read more about The Undertaker at Wikipedia Official Site: WWE Links: Wikipedia Puss in Boots (Shrek) Read more about Puss in Boots (Shrek) at Wikipedia Official Site: Dreamworks Animation Links: Wikipedia Videoclip Shrek 2 info Princess Fiona Read more about Princess Fiona at Wikipedia Official Site: Dreamworks Links: Wikipedia Shrek Wiki Shrek site Donkey (Shrek) Read more about Donkey (Shrek) at Wikipedia Official Site: Dreamworks Links: Wikipedia Shrek Wiki Dreamworks Wiki Quote
SSJRuss Posted April 17 Author Read Aloud Posted April 17 Hope everyone enjoys the continuation of The Loser's Club. This match and the next one or two will showcase the Enforcers going to lay claim to the Loser's Universes. I haven't seen past Shrek 2 with the exception of the fantastic Puss in Boots movie from a few years ago, so he might be a big help here for his team. And for clarification, the Undertaker here has supernatural feats, not just being a wrestler. Quote
JohnnyChany Posted April 18 Read Aloud Posted April 18 Great goon squad for Farquaad. Undertaker delivers both a chokeslam and a tombstone piledriver to Donkey as Donkey shouts for help. Then helps Spopovich take down Fiona and Puss in Boots. Fiona and Puss are captured, and Donkey is left unconscious. 1 Quote
Callisto Posted April 20 Read Aloud Posted April 20 Match Final Results Member Ratings:5.00 - JohnnyChany FPA Calculation:1 Total Votes cast 5.00 Total Combined Score 5.00 / 1 = 5.00 Final Rating on the match MATCH SCORE Lord Farquaad and The Undertaker and Spopovich: 2Donkey (Shrek) and Puss in Boots (Shrek) and Princess Fiona: 0 Quote
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