Rumble 21774 The Tick vs. Black Adam

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The world had a new hierarchy of power, and its self-appointed king did not tolerate chaos. From his throne in Kahndaq, Black Adam had begun a systematic evaluation of the planet's super-powered beings, a global audit to determine who was an asset to his new, absolute order and who was a liability. One name, one energy signature, was a constant, baffling anomaly. A being of immense, almost immeasurable power, located in a metropolis known only as "The City," who was responsible for more collateral property damage than most supervillain invasions. This being, this "Tick," was an unacceptable variable. He would be brought to heel.
The target was not hard to find.
A bolt of black lightning tore through the sky above a chaotic bank robbery, and Teth-Adam descended to the street with the grim finality of a god. The perpetrator, a man calling himself "Chainsaw Vigilante," was in a standoff, not with the police, but with a single, colossal figure in a ridiculously tight, blue costume. This figure, The Tick, was not fighting the villain. He was in the middle of an impassioned, nonsensical monologue.
"You see, my chain-sawed chum," The Tick's voice boomed, echoing through the street, "your path of felonious forestry is but a cry for help in the lonely lumberyard of life! Evil is just a splinter, a nasty little splinter in the thumb of goodness! And I... am the mighty tweezers of righteousness!"
Black Adam hovered, his face a mask of stone-carved disbelief. This was the source of the immense power he had detected? This chattering, blue-clad buffoon who was currently bending the villain's chainsaws into the shape of a poodle? He saw a mockery of power, an insult to the very concept of justice.
"You," Black Adam's voice was a low, ancient rumble that cut through The Tick's speech. "The blue one. Your chaotic, witless interventions are a threat to the world order I have sworn to enforce. Your brand of 'justice' is a child's game." He floated down, landing with a soft thud that cracked the asphalt. "This behavior ends now. You will submit to my authority, or you will be removed."
The Tick gasped, his hands flying to his cheeks in a gesture of pure, dramatic delight. He completely ignored the now-fleeing Chainsaw Vigilante and turned his full attention to Black Adam. "Hark, villain!" he bellowed, striking a heroic pose atop the bank's armored truck. "A new challenger appears! You speak of order, but your heart is a dark, tangled knot of brooding shoelaces in the washing machine of evil! Your reign of grim-faced grumpiness is over! For you now face the un-squashable might of... THE TICK!"
For the first time in five thousand years, Teth-Adam was genuinely speechless. He had dealt with sorcerers, demons, and gods. He had never dealt with this level of absolute, unfiltered nonsense. The ultimatum had failed. The time for words was over.
"So be it," he growled. With a look of utter contempt, he raised his hand and unleashed a torrent of pure, living lightning, a bolt powerful enough to turn a tank into molten slag, aimed directly at the blue oaf.
The blast engulfed The Tick in a massive, deafening explosion of fire and electricity that shattered every window on the block. Black Adam turned away, the matter concluded, another chaotic element erased.
"Neat-o!"
A cheerful voice rang out from the heart of the still-roaring flames. Black Adam spun around. The smoke cleared to reveal The Tick, completely unharmed, his blue suit a little sooty, but his cheerful, idiotic grin wider than ever. He gave a thumbs-up.
"That tickles!" he announced.
Black Adam’s jaw, which had not tightened in anger for centuries, clenched with a flicker of genuine, baffled rage. The fool was still standing. The fool was immune. The real, and profoundly frustrating, battle had just begun.
 

[Callisto]

Learn More About
The Tick
Read more about The Tick at Wikipedia
Official Site: Fox Links: The Tick Wikipedia article Leggman's The Tick Webpage The Tick IMDB page

Black Adam
Read more about Black Adam at Wikipedia
Official Site: D.C. Comics Links: wikipedia black adam DC Comics origin of black adam Black Adam by Otto Binder

[Callisto]

MATCH SCORE
The Tick: 0
Black Adam: 1